Performing a Balancing Act with Out Kids – Tim Elmore

**The following notes & summary are live-blogged by Tony Kummer from Ministry-To-Children. This presentation was one part of the 2011 LifeWay Kids Ministry Conference.

Performing a Balancing Act with Out Kids, Dr. Tim Elmore (Twitter)

The big debate right now: Are children growing up too fast or too slowly? Children want to experience adolescence at a younger age, but refuse to leave that sage even through their 20s. They are stalling out in their emotional development while their physical development continues.

Artificial maturity is the number one challenge kids face today. It’s the result of two major realities happening at the same time.

1. Kids are over-exposed to information far earlier than they are ready. It’s a generation of kids who know too much, too soon. This is the first generation of kids who don’t need adults to get information.

2. Kids are under-exposed to real life experiences far later than they are ready.

The word “knowledge” in the New Testament holds a clue to understanding this problem.

• Ginosko – to be aware of; to be informed; to become fully acquainted with.

• Oida – to fully perceive and understand through experience.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to know a great deal about Jesus but not to know him personally. We need to find ways to create this experiential knowledge of Christ, rather than simply information.

What causes missing oida? Adult fear of risk; fear of letting them fail or get hurt; safety obsessed; structured days. We’ve done a lot better job of protecting than preparing these kids for the world.

These realities have produced “Generation iY.” The newest batch of kids where technology has impacted them, for many life is pretty much about “I.” This generation is more narcissistic than any others previously studied. The are the center of their own bubble. We’ve done a better job preparing the path for the kids than the kids for the path. The adolescence world has never been more pleasurable and the adult world has never been more complex. They even see adults who want to go backwards to adolescence. We’ve got to be intentional about shifting the way we lead, because the realities of this generation have shifted.

Early vs. Late Generation Y

• born in late 1980s vs. born in late 1990s

• highly compassionate vs. low empathy

• activists vs. slack-tivists

• technology is a tool vs. technology is an appendage

• civic minded vs. self-absorbed

• ambitious about the future vs. ambiguous about the future

• accelerated growth vs. postponed maturation

Our Leadership Must Be a Balancing Act

1. Responsive: to display acceptance, support and belief, to be attentive to them.

2. Demanding: to establish standards and to hold them accountable to those standards.

Childhood Messages vs. Adolescence Messages

At different stages kids need to prepare

You are loved … life is difficult

You are unique … you are not in control

You have gifts … you are not that important

You are safe … you are going to die

You are valuable … your life is not about you

Ingredients need to be distributed in proportion

1. Autonomy:

2. Responsibility:

3. Information:

Balancing your style with three types of kids

1. Drivers, sometimes called strong-willed or stubborn, they are going to take charge. You need to black and white with your directions.

2. Diplomats, the peacemakers, they want harmony even at the expense of their own wants. You need to seek cooperation.

3. Dreamers, large imagination and creative. You need to provide them with several options.