Leading When Your Church is Hurting

By: Rachel Riquelme

In recent years, there has been a cultural trend to avoid difficult situations and to view trials as things that make us fragile. Jesus did not teach us to turn away from hardship and suffering. Instead, He told His followers in John 16:33, “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.”  

Scripture tells us that suffering will happen. Jesus prepared His followers for suffering, but He also provided them hope for peace because He has overcome the world. We know churches are not exempt from hurt. Whether our churches face transition, conflict, or tragedy, how can we lean into the tender, hurting places with resilient faith and ultimately lead well? We can lead well by equipping our parents, empowering our kids, and having an eternal perspective.  

Equipping Parents 

We can lead well by equipping our parents to lead their kids through suffering with grit and grace. Kids can often sense when things are out of the norm. Instead of ignoring the hurt or suffering within the walls of your church, encourage parents to talk openly using age-appropriate language. Be clear and concise, offering only the most applicable details. Remind kids that challenges and hurt are a natural part of life that all people experience, but they do not have to despair. Kids can have hope because God has a plan for them and their church. Romans 5:3-5 says, “And not only that, but we also boast in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” 

Empowering Kids 

We can lead well by empowering our kids to voice their questions and share their thoughts. We can be a safe landing spot for them. During times of suffering and turmoil, kids will have many questions. As we empower kids to talk and ask questions, listen well. Be a leader who asks clarifying questions, answers at an age-appropriate level, and teaches kids that we do not have all the answers. In your conversations and interactions, point them back to God’s Word. Proverbs 2:6 says, “For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” 

Eternal Perspective 

We can lead well by guiding our kids and their families to have an eternal perspective. The people they love and care about may be suffering right now because of hurt or trouble at church, but it will not always be this way. We can have hope that, even in the midst of suffering, God is at work, and His plans can always be trusted. Second Corinthians 4:18 says “So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 

Rachel Riquelme is the Preschool Content Editor for Lifeway’s NextGen resource Hyfi. With an MA in Discipleship and a ThM, she has a passion for building resilient disciples who have strong faith to last a lifetime. She has spent the last 15 years in Kids, Preschool, and Family Ministry and lives in Murray, KY. Rachel loves reading, biking, and spending time with her husband and two elementary-aged sons.