By: Chuck Peters
As a young boy, my dad taught me the secret to the perfect pancake: the flip. He taught me to watch for the edges to start getting dry, and to look closely at the bubbles on top. Those were the clues that it was time to flip the cakes so both sides ended up the perfect shade of golden brown.
Imagine someone trying to cook a pancake without knowing they need to flip it over, repeatedly making burnt, doughy disasters. They might give up on pancakes altogether without ever experiencing the sweet and savory, buttery and syrupy delicacy of a properly prepared pancake. But those of us who have learned the wise ways of expertly informed pancake cookers know that the answer isn’t to give up on pancakes and forget them forever, it’s to get a spatula. Don’t skip it. Flip it.
Unfortunately, some churches see VBS and camp as undercooked and unappetizing, deeming them unsavory. Some are inclined to skip them. But wait. Not so fast! If that is you, I want to challenge you to reassess your summer ministry. My call to you is the same as that of the pancake people. Don’t skip it. FLIP it!
In our book Flip the Script, my co-authors Jana Magruder, Stephanie Salvatore, and I partnered with Lifeway Research to understand Gen Z and Alpha’s cultural needs. The research supports what many NextGen leaders know experientially: While kids of Gen Z are the most connected generation of all time through technology, they are simultaneously the loneliest and most isolated generation in history regarding real-life relationships. They are plagued by fear, and paralyzed by anxiety, stress, and depression.
They are also a generation that does not regard or respect positional authority. They do not hold a positive view of denominations, affiliations, or accreditations; in fact, they are suspicious of institutions and organizations. Many view corporations and organizations, including the church, as inherently evil.
Many of us have heard the familiar statistic that 66% of church kids stop attending church regularly between 18 and 22, but many don’t realize their reasons are relational. Research shows that 32% of those who left felt church members were judgmental or hypocritical, 29% felt disconnected, and 23% never connected with other students.
How can we reach a generation that vilifies the church and organized religion? The research points to one clear strategy: The next generation must be reached through relationships. We must engage Gen Z and Alpha with relational evangelism and walk with them in relational discipleship. The testimony of many Gen Z believers is not connected to a program, but to a person; not to a gospel presentation, but to personal gospel conversations. The good news is this is a well-established model for ministry. Jesus invited His disciples to walk with Him and He taught them in the Deuteronomy 6 style: when they lay down, when they rose up, and as they walked along the road. The discipleship model of The Lord was largely not one of lecturing and listening, but one of walking together and talking together. This is the kind of engagement we need to return to as the church. One thing is certain, we can’t just do what we have been doing. We need to apply a spatula to our Kids and Student ministries. We need to flip our strategies to cook the relational side.
F is for Friends. Every child in your church needs a friend. Research from Nothing Less by Jana Magruder shows that kids with a best friend in church are more likely to stay connected. But friendships don’t just happen because kids are in the same room. A sit-still, face-forward, be-quiet approach to ministry is not conducive to friend connections. We need to acknowledge the importance of friendships in the faith journey and take measures to intentionally help kids foster friendships.
L is for Leaders. Dr. James Comer from Yale says, “No significant learning can occur without significant relationship.” Public school educator Rita Pearson, in her viral TED Talk, emphasized that every child needs a champion–an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection, and insists that they become the best they can possibly be. If secular educators are this passionate about the power of connection, how much more should we be in our Kids and Student ministries in the church?
I propose another perspective: Every child in your church deserves a champion in your church! One adult leader who knows their name, their needs, and their situation. Who cares for them and intercedes in prayer for them. A leader who misses them when they are gone and celebrates them when they return.
We won’t reach this generation with warm-body leaders who serve on a rotation out of obligation. We need to recruit new kinds of relationally minded leaders to walk in discipleship relationships with kids and students in our churches. As kids become less predictable in their attendance patterns, we need our leaders to be more predictable in theirs. We need to seek out and train up “5C” leaders. Leaders who are committed, consistent, connected, Christlike, and who care about kids.
I is for Influencers. Every person in your church is an influencer. We need to remind them of the importance of having friendly, warm, welcoming, positive, and engaging encounters with kids and students. Kids notice the ways that your church’s people interact with them and with one another. They may not remember the words we say, but they will never forget the attitudes we convey. As ministry leaders, we need to remind every person in our church that they are influencers.
P is for Pastors. Kids and students need to know that the pastor of your church isn’t just the pastor of the adults; he is their pastor too. Pastors need to have a presence, at least occasionally, in Kids and Student Ministry spaces. They don’t need to come in to teach a lesson, but rather to make a relational connection. When the kids in my church know that pastor Ian plays the drums, has a brown fuzzy dog, likes the Detroit Lions (no judgements), and loves to eat pancakes, they will have a different perspective of him when they see him on the platform in big church. And they will be more inclined to reach out to him when they one day need pastoral care and counsel.
The formula for influence is simple: Trust + Respect = Influence. The saying may seem trite, but it is true: they won’t care what we know until they know that we care. While relational ministry is highly effective it takes time, and time is not on our side. Attendance patterns have shifted—today, attending every other week is considered regular. We must be intentional to create quality connections in the time that we have, and we need to look for more opportunities to have quality time with our young people to engage them in FLIP relationships.
Consider this: if a child attends church every other week for one hour, it takes 7.5 months to reach 15 hours of relational connection. But what if I told you there was a relational ministry microwave, an accelerant that would fast-forward your relational ministry, propelling you to 15 hours of relational ministry connection not in 7.5 months, but in just one week’s time? There is one! It’s called VBS.
A traditional 5-day, 3-hour-a-day VBS provides 15 hours of relational engagement with every kid who attends; packing the equivalent of 7.5 months of the kind of connection that is essential to reach Generations Z&A with the gospel. While VBS is a model with a long legacy, it is one that is tailor made to reach a generation that is longing for belonging and relationships.
A week at camp packs in even more hours of high value relational connectivity. Depending on your level of engagement a leader could have 8-12 hours of engagement per day at camp, resulting in more than 40 hours of relational connection in that one week.
So, don’t be too quick to scrap camp and/or VBS into the trash can. Instead, use them as opportunities to accelerate critical relational engagement with the kids in your church and in your community. Make this summer your best one yet by leveraging these high-impact events for high relational engagement. Don’t skip it, FLIP it.
Fun Friday: Summer Road Trip Activity Book
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