By: Chuck Peters
The Second Law of Thermodynamics, theorized by the German scientist Rudolf Clausius in the 1850s, is known as the Law of Entropy. It observes that things move from order to disorder. When left to themselves, things deteriorate. Nothing improves accidentally. In every observable instance, things get worse, not better, without intervention. Cars rust, wood rots, stone structures crumble. Things that have been built up fall down. In response to the Second Law, we must constantly invest energy and intentionality into reinforcing the things that we want to last. They must be maintained to be sustained.
The nature of the Second Law is visible in our relationships (with God and other people), our ministries, and our strategies. They too must be maintained to be sustained.
Left to themselves, relationships, strategies, and positive behaviors are subject to entropy. We need to constantly work to fix what’s broken and repair what’s breaking. We need to know how things are intended to function so we can diagnose problems and implement maintenance and restoration.
As leaders in the church, we must train our eyes to see people who are broken and breaking. Relational evangelism and relational discipleship require that we always have our eyes fixed on people and focused on Jesus. We must build into our teams and our churches a sustaining culture that is oriented toward seeing and welcoming in the uninitiated who are not connected in biblical community or in relationship with the Lord. We must take direct, explicit action to foster “FLIP” relationships for every child, student, volunteer, staffer, parent, and for ourselves as leaders, so that we can all be connected in a strong relational web of belonging within the church. This web of belonging helps to hold us all strong in the faith.
The word FLIP, from the book Flip the Script, is an acronym that represents four key relationships that everyone needs to find in our churches: Friends, Leaders, Influencers, and Pastors.
F is for Friends. Every kid in your church needs to find a friend in your church. Why? Because when I have a friend, I want to attend. Research from the book Nothing Less by Jana Magruder, created in partnership with Lifeway Kids and Lifeway Research, further indicates that kids who have a best friend in the church are more likely to stay connected to the church and in the faith, and are less likely to walk away later in life.
L is for Leaders. Secular educators understand the significance of relationships in learning. Dr. James Comer, child psychologist and professor at Yale, says, “No significant learning can occur without significant relationship.” In her famous TED Talk, educator Rita Pierson said, “Every child deserves a champion – an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection and insists that they become the best they can possibly be.” If secular educators are this passionate about the power of connection, how much more should we be in our Kids and Student ministries in the church?
I propose another perspective: Every child in your church deserves a champion in your church! One adult leader who knows their name, their needs, and their situation; who cares for them and intercedes in prayer for them; a leader who misses them when they are gone and celebrates them when they return.
I is for Influencers. Every person in your church is an influencer over the next generation. We need to remind them of the importance of having friendly, warm, welcoming, positive, and engaging encounters with kids and students. Kids notice the ways that your church’s people interact with them and with one another, and every one of those interactions has the power of positive (or negative) influence that could have eternal consequences. They may not remember the words we say, but they will never forget the attitudes we convey. As ministry leaders, we need to remind every person in our church that they are influencers.
P is for Pastors. Kids and students need to know that the pastor of your church isn’t just the pastor of the adults; he is their pastor too. Pastors need to have a presence, at least occasionally, in kids and student ministry spaces. They don’t need to come in to teach a lesson, but to make a relational connection. When the kids in my church know that Pastor Ian plays the drums, has a brown fuzzy dog, likes the Detroit Lions (no judgments), and loves to eat bacon, they will have a different perspective of him when they see him on the platform in big church. And they will be more inclined to reach out to him when they one day need pastoral care and counsel.
To reach this generation effectively, we must invest energy to earn the individual trust and respect of each child to truly have influence in their lives. This requires an ongoing process, not only to establish strong relationships in the church but to do the hard work of maintaining and sustaining them over the long haul.
Fun Friday: Fall Outreach Ideas to Spark Connection
»