By Kimba Campbell
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be meaningful, celebratory moments in the life of the church. They give us a chance to honor parents and emphasize the partnership that churches and families play in the spiritual formation of children. At the same time, these holidays can be painful or complicated for many children and adults in our congregations.
As ministry leaders, especially those serving children and families, we have an opportunity to approach these days with compassion and intentional care. With a little thought and planning, we can celebrate moms and dads while also making sure every child feels seen, valued, and loved.
1. Remember That Not Every Child’s Story Is the Same
In every classroom, there are children who do not have a mom or a dad in their daily life. Some have experienced divorce, death, abandonment, or situations where parents were never married. Others may live with foster families, grandparents, or other guardians.
When Mother’s Day or Father’s Day approaches, it’s easy to assume these days are universally joyful, but for some children, they highlight loss or absence. Sensitivity begins with awareness. Simply acknowledging that families look different allows us to lead with empathy rather than assumptions.
2. Use Thoughtful Language in Crafts and Activities
Hands-on activities are often a highlight of holiday weekends, especially for kids. However, the wording we use matters greatly.
Instead of framing crafts as “something for your mom” or “a gift for your dad,” consider keeping the language open and flexible:
- “Make this for someone you love.”
- “Create this for an adult who cares for you.”
- “This craft can be given to someone who brings you to church or helps take care of you.”
This small shift empowers children to choose who they want to honor without feeling singled out or pressured to explain their family situation. It also reinforces the idea that love and care can come from many people, not just a mom or dad.
3. Celebrate Parents Without Making Kids Feel ‘Less Than’
We absolutely want to honor the moms and dads in our churches. Parenting is a calling worthy of recognition and gratitude. The key is holding celebration and compassion together.
When speaking to children, avoid language that suggests a child’s experience is incomplete or inferior if they don’t have a certain parent present. We can honor parents while still communicating clearly: You belong here. You are deeply loved by God and this church.
4. Acknowledge the Role of Grandparents and Spiritual Mentors
For many children, grandparents, extended family members, foster parents, or church mentors fill vital parental roles. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be wonderful opportunities to acknowledge these relationships. Naming and celebrating the presence of godly adults who step in to love, guide, and nurture children reinforces a biblical truth: God often uses community to meet our needs. The church family can be a powerful source of stability and love for kids who need it most.
It’s also important to remember that some children do not have a mother or father who can attend church events with them. For these kids, activities that are meant to be shared can feel isolating if no adult is present. Churches can respond in simple, tangible ways. Encourage trusted adults, such as grandparents, family friends, or consistent volunteers, to attend events alongside a child when a parent is unavailable. Another helpful approach is inviting an adult Bible study class to “adopt” a children’s class by committing to pray regularly, attend special events, and build relationships over time. These intentional steps ensure no child is left navigating church experiences alone and help create a consistent sense of belonging.
5. Lead with Prayer
One of the most meaningful things leaders can do during these seasons is pray, both privately and publicly. Take time to pray for each child by name. Ask God for wisdom and comfort. Pray for children experiencing loss, confusion, or hurt, and for adults carrying heavy emotions during these holidays. Prayer shapes our hearts as leaders, grounding us in God’s compassion and reminding us that we are not ministering in our own strength. As we pray, God often brings greater sensitivity and discernment, helping us recognize unspoken needs. Prayer helps us notice what we might otherwise miss and respond with grace instead of routine.
6. Equip Volunteers Before the Holiday Weekend
Sensitivity doesn’t happen by accident. It is cultivated. Briefly prepare volunteers ahead of time so everyone is aligned in language, expectations, and tone. Encourage them to listen carefully and respond gently when talking about families. When leaders are equipped and unified, children experience consistency and care.
A Final Encouragement
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day do not need to be avoided, but they do deserve thoughtful leadership. When we approach these holidays with awareness, intentional language, prayer, and preparation, we create environments where every child can participate without feeling overlooked or uncomfortable. By honoring parents while also recognizing the many ways families are different, we reflect the heart of Christ. Small, intentional choices can make a lasting difference. Our goal is to ensure that every child knows they belong, they are valued, and they are deeply loved by God and His church.
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