Landry Holmes, Author at Kids Ministry

June 16, 2017

In Search of the Perfect Dad

Whether you are a dad (or married to one), you may have been caught up in a search for the perfect dad. You probably have discovered that the perfect dad is a myth. However, many people continue to search and unknowingly find themselves believing in the stereotypical behavior of fathers.

These stereotypes can be as elusive as the perfect dad myth. The perfect dad does not exist, and stereotypes can be paralyzing; but there are some characteristics of fatherhood that all dads should strive to embody. I have observed my sons become dads themselves, and I have proudly watched them care and provide for their newborn children. My prayer is that they will avoid the stress that comes with the following stereotypes and be the dads God has created them to be.

The Athlete Dad

For the sports-minded dad, life centers around playing, watching, and attending sports events. When I was a boy, I tried playing sports, but I lacked the coordination needed to be successful. However, when my sons were younger, I played sports with them. I have taken my boys to professional sporting events, watched them play sports, and even coached them in soccer and basketball. One of my sons played high school varsity soccer, the other plays on a church softball league, and both have coached kids soccer and basketball teams at church. Both watch sports on television and enjoy quoting statistics. I simply sit back and listen. Society tells me that I am not a real man because I lack athletic skills and do not try to influence my children’s sports careers. But I know better.

The Do-It-All Dad

This is the father who attempts to be all things to all of his children. He tries to be an athlete, sportsman, playmate, tutor, handyman, backyard grill champion, carpenter, and craftsman. For the first few years of fatherhood, I tried to be the do-it-all dad. After all, who does not want to be an involved dad and help his children succeed in everything? In reality, I frustrated myself and my sons. This dad is overprotective and tends to smother his children, rather than giving his children opportunities to succeed on their own and to learn from their mistakes.

The Sportsman Dad

This dad is the master hunter and fisherman. I have enjoyed times of hunting and fishing. However, I often feel as if I have failed my sons by not taking them hunting and fishing on a regular basis. But through my own personal experiences, as well as the experiences of other dads, I have come to realize that God often provides for boys who possess a natural desire to fish and hunt. That provision may come through a close friend or a relative. You do not have to be an excellent marksman or angler to be a good dad.

The Do-Nothing Dad

Otherwise known as the “couch potato” dad, this stereotype often is played out on television and in movies. This is the dad who is portrayed by the media as lazy and not as intelligent as his wife and children, who make fun of him either behind his back or to his face. He often is seen sitting in his recliner with a remote control in one hand and a soft drink in the other, oblivious to everything going on around him. I think most dads fight this behavior when they come home from work and want to doze in their favorite chair.

The Disengaged Dad

Unfortunately, the disengaged dad often is a true stereotype for many families. This dad does his duty by working 80 hours a week. He rarely attends piano recitals, school plays, and soccer games. He expects the school to educate his child, the church to train his child spiritually, and his wife to manage the household. I like to think of myself as an engaged dad and granddaddy, but there have been times where I put work ahead of my boys. With the advent of smartphones and tablets, the challenge to be both physically and mentally present at home is challenging. Children need to see their dads in the kitchen, and they need to see their dads at recitals and baseball games. More importantly, they need their dads to take them to church and talk with them about spiritual matters. The latest electronic toys for dads will vanish, but the legacy of an egaged dad lasts forever.

Fathers in the Bible

These five stereotypes are not contemporary inventions. A quick biblical survey offers several positive and negative examples of fatherhood. Adam and his wife, Eve, yielded to temptation and introduced sin to the entire world, not to mention to their future children (Genesis 3). Noah was righteous and taught his children to obey God, but he also succumbed to drunken behavior (Genesis 6:8-10; 9:18-27). Isaac showed favoritism to Esau, and Isaac’s son Jacob showed favoritism to his son Joseph (Genesis 25:28; 37:3). Samson’s dad caved under pressure, arranging for Samson to marry a Philistine (Judges 14:1-7,10). David lusted after another man’s wife, committed adultery, and then murdered to cover up his sin (2 Samuel 11).

While some of these dads in the Bible exhibit inappropriate actions, there are some behaviors today’s fathers would do well to emulate. Joseph reared Jesus with Mary, taking Him to the temple and most likely teaching Him a trade (Matthew 13:55; Luke 2:21-24,39-42,51-52). The father in the parable of the prodigal son offers a great example of a loving dad who gave his son options and forgave him even when he made some wrong choices (Luke 15:11-32). Perhaps Jesus even thought about His experiences with Joseph when He told this story about His Heavenly Father’s love.

The Perfect Father

Although the Bible teaches dads how to be the best dads they can be, the model of the perfect dad is elusive. There is only one perfect Father God. Otherwise, the perfect dad is nonexistent. Rather than feeling guilty when you do not fit society’s stereotypes, pursue the dad God designed you to be. Use the gifts, talents, and natural abilities that He has given you as you teach your child to become all that God desires for him to be. In doing so, you can teach your child to love his perfect Heavenly Father.

Landry Holmes is the Manager of LifeWay Kids Ministry Publishing, Nashville, TN. A graduate of Howard Payne University and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, Landry served on church staffs before coming to LifeWay. He is a church leader, writer, workshop facilitator, and publisher. Landry also teaches children at his church in Middle Tennessee. He and his wife Janetta are the parents of two adorable grand babies.

Kids Ministry, Leadership, Preschoolers

May 31, 2017

Fun and Games for Preschoolers

By Landry Holmes

Ask a person unfamiliar with kids ministry what happens in a typical preschool Bible study room, and they may say, “It’s all just fun and games.” Before you bristle at that statement, think about how preschoolers learn best. They learn best through doing, and activities can be fun. Therefore, we do teach preschoolers biblical truth through fun and playing games.

Some game play is planned, and other games are spontaneous. Nonetheless, as the late Fred Rogers of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood said, “Play is the real  work of childhood.” When I think of preschoolers at church, I remember that through fun games preschoolers can learn Bible truth as they P-L-A-Y:

P onder Bible content

L augh with teachers and friends

A sk and answer questions

Y ield to Bible learning (and sometimes, Yell with friends)

The Bible tells us, “. . . Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and with people.” (Luke 2:52). Since Jesus was fully human and fully God, we know that God designed every child to grow in the same way—intellectually, physically, spiritually, and socially. Game play is one way that children grow simultaneously in all four areas.

That well-rounded growth is evidenced in the three ways in which preschoolers play at church:

Individual Play—Preschoolers engage in solo play with little or no interaction with other children.
Parallel Play—Preschoolers play near each other but not together. For example two preschoolers playing with blocks may build two towers that are independent of one another.
Group Play—Preschoolers actively interact with teachers and other children while engaging in play. This could be in Bible-learning centers, at a table with other kids, playing a matching game with one or two friends, or playing a game together with everyone in the room.

In each of the above three types of play, teachers play a critical role in making sure that preschoolers hear Bible content as teachers . . .

Repeat Bible verses
Talk about Bible truths
Tell parts of Bible stories
Sing Bible songs
Provide examples of how preschoolers can apply Bible truths

In a way, what we do in preschool Bible study groups is fun and games. And, that’s a good thing, because that is how God wired preschoolers to learn about Jesus and to grow according to God’s design. So, go ahead, provide fun games and incorporate play in your Bible study sessions with preschoolers as often as you can!

Easter, Kids Ministry, Leadership, Preschoolers

April 5, 2017

Preschoolers, The Easter Bunny, and The Cross

By Landry Holmes

Have you ever played, “Which One is Not Like the Others”? The title of this post may remind you of that game. Some of you may be thinking that “the Easter bunny” doesn’t belong in the list. Others may say that “the cross” shouldn’t be in the lineup.

Regardless of your perspective, churches are confronted this time of year with the question, “What do we do about preschoolers, the Easter bunny, and the cross?” The answer depends in part on your church’s context.

Preschoolers and the Easter Bunny—Reaching Families of Preschoolers

If hosting a community Easter egg hunt will help advance your church’s mission to make disciples, then maybe you should consider having one.

Use an Easter egg hunt to introduce your church to the community and invite families to visit your church on Easter.
Separate the Easter Bunny from the cross.
Host the Easter egg hunt on any day other than Easter.
Allow preschoolers to have fun hunting eggs, and avoid trying to spiritualize the eggs. Preschoolers are literal thinkers and don’t really grasp symbolism.
If you choose to tell preschoolers (and parents) the story of Jesus’s resurrection be sure to do so from the Bible, as you would tell a Bible story at church on any other occasion.
Tell the Bible story in a different location from where the eggs were hidden, such as in a park pavilion. If a “live” Easter bunny is present, make sure he’s out of the preschoolers’ line of sight during Bible story time.

Preschoolers and the Cross—Teaching Preschoolers the Gospel

Some preschoolers learn about Jesus’s crucifixion and resurrection at home. Others have never really heard how Jesus showed His love toward us by dying on the cross and being raised from the dead.

Teach preschoolers that God loves us and that God sent Jesus because He loves us.
Refrain from using symbolic language, such as, “Jesus is the Lamb of God.”
When stating that Jesus died on the cross, avoid the R-rated details of Jesus’s terrible death.
Focus on the resurrection and assure preschoolers that Jesus is alive!

Easter can be a fun, celebratory, and memorable time at church and at home. Encourage parents to keep the cross and the bunny separate, and remind them that building spiritual foundations in their preschoolers’ lives takes time and needs to happen everyday, not just on Easter.

Bible Study, Kids Ministry, Sunday School

March 3, 2017

9 Do’s for KidMin Volunteers (Part 2)

By Landry Holmes

Last month I identified nine suggested actions for effective kids ministry volunteers, found in Polly Hargis Dillard’s 1959 book Improving Nursery Departments. Still convinced that these suggestions are just as appropriate for elementary volunteers at church as they are for preschool teachers, I conclude this discussion with Ms. Dillard’s final nine suggestions:

Be alert to see opportunities to enrich the child’s experiences by singing, talking, or just listening.
Be in the room at least 30 minutes before the session.
Avoid moralizing, such as “God doesn’t like that,” or “Jesus isn’t happy when you do that.”
Offer a child a choice only if you intend to let him make the decision. Avoid “Would you like to go home?” unless he is to make the decision.
Avoid comparing children.
Use redirection (turning the child’s attention to an act which has equal value to him).
Define limits clearly and maintain them consistently.
Encourage a child to talk freely about himself and his feelings toward others.
Be able to call by name the children with whom you work.

Glance at the list one more time. What is a common thread running through these suggestions? For me, Jesus’s words come to mind: “Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them . . .” (Matthew 7:12) These are some of the things I want done for me at church:

Listen to me without judgment.
Be prepared for my arrival.
Teach me the Bible and don’t use it as a weapon.
See me for whom God has created me to be.
Know my name.

Jesus reminds us that when we care for others we care for Him. (See Matthew 25:40.) Therefore when we treat kids and families, as we want to be treated, we glorify our Savior. That includes listening, preparing, teaching God’s Word, valuing kids, and knowing each child individually. What will you do this week in kids ministry that honors Jesus?

Kids Ministry, Leadership, Sunday School, Volunteers

February 20, 2017

9 Do’s for KidMin Volunteers (Part 1)

By Landry Holmes

In last month’s post—“10 Questions Kidmin Volunteers Should Ask Themselves”—I identified my source as the 1959 book Improving Nursery Departments by Polly Hargis Dillard. Drawing again from that little book, I thought it would be enlightening to list some of Ms. Dillard’s suggested actions for children’s teachers at church.

Ms. Dillard says, “A Nursery worker will be guided in her actions by the specific situations with which she is confronted. However, there are certain practices which are basic to working effectively with small children.” After thinking through the author’s list of 18 “do’s, I have concluded that these suggestions are just as appropriate for elementary volunteers at church as they are for preschool teachers. Today we’ll look at the first 9 suggestions.

Remove your hat.
Get down on the child’s level, even if it means sitting on the floor most of the time.
Use a soft voice.
Listen and observe more than you talk.
Help each child to know how to use materials.
Avoid talking about children in their presence. Devote your time to listening to the children rather than to talking about them.
Use action with words. Help a child to put away blocks instead of saying, “Put the blocks on the shelf.”
Commend the children when they accomplish something for themselves. Avoid “gushing.”
Allow the child plenty of time to do something. Don’t rush him, but be patient. And don’t rush about the room yourself.

I will admit, I chuckled the first time I read, “Remove your hat.” I usually teach in jeans or khakis and an open-collar shirt. One recent Sunday morning, however, I decided to don a tie and sport coat along with my jeans. A 5-year-old girl in my class commented, “You look nice today, Mr. Landry!” (I may need to start wearing a coat and tie more often!)

This simple suggestion to remove one’s hat is intended to be taken literally; however, I do think that there are “hats,” or things, we need to remove when we teach kids. In fact the other 8 suggestions are about removing distractions and other barriers to teaching babies—preteens at church.

Of particular interest is the emphasis on the child throughout Ms. Dillard’s list. Why? Psalm 139:13 reiterates what we already know from Genesis 1:27, “For it was you who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

God created and knows the children we teach. They are valuable to Him. Therefore it’s important for us to “remove our hats” and eliminate anything that keeps us from sharing God’s love with kids. So, what will you remove before teaching kids this week?

Kids Ministry, Leadership, Volunteers

January 13, 2017

10 Questions KidMin Volunteers Should Ask Themselves

By Landry Holmes

Not too long ago, one of our neighbors gave my wife a book published in 1959 by what is now known as LifeWay Christian Resources. The book is Improving Nursery Departments by Polly Hargis Dillard. I thought writing a three-part “Lessons from 1959” series from the book might be fun. However, I must first address the proverbial “elephant in the room.”

When I first started in kids ministry, I was taught we didn’t use the word “nursery.” A nursery was where plants were grown. A few years in, one of my mentors—a well-known preschool ministry leader—wisely told me that what we call the area at church where preschoolers are cared for is not as important as what we do in that area. The remainder of this post focuses on what we do, not only in the preschool area at church, but in the elementary ministry as well.

In her book, Dillard presents a checklist of 17 questions that preschool teachers should ask themselves in order to evaluate their potential areas of growth. I have chosen to condense that list to the following 10 questions and pose them to both preschool and elementary volunteers at church:

Do I really like children; am I a friend to children?
Do I see the world as a child sees it; do I use words which the children understand?
Do I let the children do as much as they are able to do for themselves; am I eager to grow and learn more about children’s interests, development, and guidance?
Do I treat children with as much consideration and respect as I do adults; do I see and understand each child as a growing person?
Do I laugh with the children and not at them?
Do I appreciate and work well with parents; do I work well with fellow workers?
Do I give of myself in time, love, and service; do I make thorough preparation for each session?
Do I study the Bible daily? Do I try to live daily the principles which I find in the Bible?
Do I recognize that behind behavior there is a reason; do I try to find the reason?
Am I sensitive to the needs of the children and to what they are feeling and thinking?

How did you do? In what areas do you need to grow the most? The purpose of this list is to be encouraged and to remember these words from Polly Dillard, “Effective workers are always growing workers.” So keep loving, keep learning, keep growing, and keep teaching.

Encouragement, Kids Ministry, Leadership

December 7, 2016

Who’s In Control?

By Landry Holmes

What causes you to panic and experience that strange feeling in the pit of your stomach that won’t go away? For a few Americans, it was a radio drama broadcast of “The War of the Worlds” on October 30, 1938. In that dramatization of H. G. Wells’ 1898 novel by the same name, it was declared that Martians had invaded the United States. Whether or not the masses were thrown into hysteria remains debatable; nonetheless, at least a few citizens were convinced, albeit briefly, that their lives were threatened.

The fact that anyone would believe such a story may seem ludicrous to us today; however, as human beings we are often subject to panic. Why is that? Panic usually is the result of fear and worry. The Bible has a few things to say about that:

“… don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34)
“… don’t worry about your life, what you will eat; or about the body, what you will wear … Can any of you add a cubit to his height by worrying? If then you’re not able to do even a little thing, why worry about the rest?” (Luke 12:22,25-26)
“Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

While we make many excuses for our fear-induced panic, the cause is actually sin. Here are three reasons why we allow sin to produce worry and fear in our lives:

Pride—Pride says, “I’ve got this.” Pride is self-reliant, and when we depend our ourselves we worry.
Doubt— God made us and knows us intimately. When we fail to believe God’s promises and give our anxiety to Him, we panic.
Destruction—God protects and Satan destroys. When we allow ourselves to become paralyzed by worry, we give Satan an opening to attack using one of his favorite destructive weapons: fear.

So, what do we do? While leading a kids worship experience a few years ago, I found myself teaching a biblical truth presented in the curriculum as a question and answer: “Who’s in control? God is all powerful, sovereign and good.” Oh, what a wonderfully powerful biblical truth!

When we face behavioral issues with kids, remember, God is all powerful. When we’re tempted to be anxious about attendance at Bible study, worship, or family events, remember, God is sovereign. When we have conflicts with parents and other leaders, remember, God is good. So, the next time Satan tempts you with fear, worry, and anxiety, listen to God. He is saying, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this.”

Advent, Christmas, Kids Ministry, Leadership

November 2, 2016

Celebrating Advent with Kids at Church

By Landry Holmes

Sitting in the worship service of a university-town church as a college student, I observed an Advent celebration for the first time. I was wondering what I had gotten myself into! Since that time, I have served in churches that either ignored the Advent season or celebrated it. And, either approach is acceptable.

Some churches choose to celebrate Advent overtly and ceremoniously, while others subtly mention Advent from the stage or in the worship bulletin. Some churches provide customized Advent guides for families to use at home.

Regardless of how your church chooses to publicly celebrate Advent, you may want to observe this occasion in your kids ministry. However, before doing anything related to Advent, talk with your pastor about your plans and make sure there are no doctrinal or church tradition issues that would prevent you from leading kids to observe Advent. Here are four simple ideas to use with kids at church:

Talk to the kids about what the word “advent” means and why Christians celebrate Advent.
Set up an Advent wreath and candles in your classroom or large group room. Each week, enlist a child to light a candle. (If you’re concerned about a fire hazard, use electric candles.) Enlist other kids to read aloud Scriptures that relate to that particular Sunday of Advent. Lead kids to pray, thanking God for His redemptive plan.
Lead the kids to sing a different song each week that relates to that Sunday of Advent. If older kids and preteens are too cool to sing, listen to a recording of the song.
Help children create an Advent guide to use at home personally or with their family. Here is a suggested outline:
- Weekend of November 27—Theme, Hope (Isaiah 7:14; Micah 5:2)
- Weekend of December 4—Theme, Love (John 3:16)
- Weekend of December 11—Theme, Joy (Luke 2:8-11)
- Weekend of December 18—Theme, Peace (Isaiah 9:6)
- Weekend of December 25—Theme, Jesus (Luke 2:1-7)

Whatever you choose to do to celebrate Advent with kids at church, always, always, always point children to God’s plan to rescue, redeem, and restore us. After all that is why we celebrate Advent at Christmas, the coming of Jesus.

Devotional, Kids Ministry, Leadership

October 26, 2016

Who’s To Blame?

By Landry Holmes

Place two kids in a room, and soon they will be blaming each other for something. I know this both as a teacher and a parent. My two married, adult sons are 28 months apart in age. When they were in elementary school, my younger son would often come to my wife or me whining about his older brother and say, “Get him in trouble!”

While that statement is humorous to us as adults, isn’t that a natural thing to say? Look at Adam and Eve. Adam said, “The woman You gave to be with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate.” (Genesis 3:12) The question, “Who’s to blame?” is as old as the fall of man in the Garden of Eden.

The Bible is replete with other examples of imperfect people pointing the finger of blame to others. One such situation is found in 1 Kings 18. After three years of drought, King Ahab asks Elijah, “Is that you, you destroyer of Israel?”

To us, Ahab’s question seems ridiculous. But the king had circumstantial evidence—the drought. After all, who announced the drought? The Bible says, “Now Elijah the Tishbite, from the Gilead settlers, said to Ahab, ‘As the Lord God of Israel lives, I stand before Him, and there will be no dew or rain during these years except by my command!’” (1 Kings 17:1) So, what is the logical conclusion as to the reason for the drought? That’s correct, the cessation of rain must be Elijah’s fault.

The tangible evidence, however, proves the circumstantial evidence false. According to the writer of I Kings, “Ahab son of Omri became king over Israel … Ahab … did what was evil in the Lord’s sight more than all who were before him . . . he married Jezebel … and then proceeded to serve Baal and worship him.” (1 Kings 16:19-31) King Ahab’s wrong choice to worship Baal resulted in the drought. Therefore, sin is the real reason for Israel’s troubles, not the messenger Elijah.

So, where does that leave us? We often make wrong choices in ministry and in life and then blame others:

The kids in our ministry are acting crazy and wild, so we blame them, when our lack of planning and preparation might be to blame.
No one shows up for a Sunday afternoon program, and we blame the parents, when our over-scheduling activities may be the problem.
Our pastor and/or other staff members dismiss what we have to say, when our chronic whining may be the cause.

Rather than blaming others, we need to recognize that the root of our problems is sin. Sometimes the cause may be either our own sin or the result of living in a fallen, broken world. Additionally we should give our problems to Jesus, who promises, “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30).

The next time you are tempted to blame parents, the church down the street, the kids, or other leaders in the church, remember that the source of difficulties is sin. Then, turn your situation over to Jesus and rest in Him.

Bible Skills, Kids Ministry, Leadership

September 23, 2016

Bibles and Shoelaces

By Landry Holmes

Some friends of mine once discussed the merit of teaching their young children how to tell time on an analog timepiece as opposed to a digital watch. The premise of the argument assumed that kids in the future would not need to know how to read an analog clock because soon all such devices would display time digitally. That was over 30 years ago.

A similar conversation emerged a few years ago when Velcro® found a home on kids’ shoes. Why teach a child how to tie her shoes if all she has to do is draw them tight and fasten them in seconds? The kids I teach at church still wear shoes with shoelaces.

Time has proven both issues irrelevant. However, the leap from these two discussions to the following question is logical: “Why should we teach kids how to use print Bibles when digital Bibles are conveniently located on their phones, e-readers, tablets, and other mobile devices?”

Children who learn to use a print Bible can easily transfer those skills to a digital Bible. The skills employed to tell time and tie shoes are transferrable to other tasks. The same is true with the Bible.
Print Bibles reinforce visually that the Bible is one big story of God’s redemptive plan, not just an isolated passage displayed on a screen.
Concrete and logical learners discover how the Bible is organized—Old and New Testaments, divisions (Law, History, Gospels, etc.), books, chapters, and verses—when they can see and hold a print Bible.
Once a child learns basic Bible skills with a print Bible, he will discover the value of using a digital Bible to study the Scripture passages in multiple translations.

So, should we allow kids to use their Bible apps at church? Yes! If we want kids to learn how to use the Bible anywhere and at anytime, then we need to encourage them to access the Bible in whatever format is readily available.

There is a time and place for our hands and electronic displays, shoelaces and Velcro, and print and digital Bibles. In the end, we want preschoolers and elementary kids to cherish God’s Word, regardless of whether they are reading from a well-worn print edition or on the latest tablet.

In Search of the Perfect Dad

The Athlete Dad

The Do-It-All Dad

The Sportsman Dad

The Do-Nothing Dad

The Disengaged Dad

Fathers in the Bible

The Perfect Father

Fun and Games for Preschoolers

Preschoolers, The Easter Bunny, and The Cross

Preschoolers and the Easter Bunny—Reaching Families of Preschoolers

Preschoolers and the Cross—Teaching Preschoolers the Gospel

9 Do’s for KidMin Volunteers (Part 2)

9 Do’s for KidMin Volunteers (Part 1)

10 Questions KidMin Volunteers Should Ask Themselves

Who’s In Control?

Celebrating Advent with Kids at Church

Who’s To Blame?

Bibles and Shoelaces

All Ministry Sites

Digital Resources

LifeWay Network