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What will be your Legacy? …a question worth asking.
I read an article recently about Jonathan Ive, designer at Apple who has helped turn the company into the power house it is today. The article describes Ive as “helping Jobs bring Apple back from the brink of financial ruin with the whimsical iMac computer, whose original models came in bright colors at a time when bland shades dominated the PC world.” His innovation continued to lead the company to the iPod, iPhone, and iPad.
One sentence in the article really captured my attention: "People who have worked with Ive describe him as humble and sweet, quiet and shy, but also confident, hard-working and brilliant." What a legacy!
We all have a reputation that we have probably earned. What would you want your coworkers, family, friends, and acquaintances to say about you? Here is what I would love for people to say about me:
• He works hard and plays hard: Both are incredibly important. It is valuable to be seen as someone who works hard and cares about what they do and why they do it. However, it is just as important to have fun while you are working and when you are not working. I have said many times I get up every day and can’t wait to get to work, and at the end of every day can’t wait to get home. It doesn’t get any better than that.
• He is humble: I know humility is not always seen as a value, nor is it always respected, but I find great value in humility and most often admire those who have a large dose of it.
• He is honest: Character is a trait that we hire for within our department, and honesty is essential to being a person of character. I have said many times you can say anything honestly if you can find the right way to say it.
• He loves his family: Need I say more?
• He is a true friend: They say you are lucky if you have one or two real friends. To have friends, you need to be a friend.
• He loves the people he works with: I have been incredibly lucky that over my 27 plus years of full time employment, the people I have worked with have been some of my dearest friends and people whom I have admired the most. If you are lucky enough to have this in your life, be smart enough to recognize its value.
• He is guided by his faith in Christ: It is easy to be seen as a “Christian,” but it is more important to be seen as one who’s faith in Christ actually guides the way they live: to love Him so much you want to follow. Truth is, if my faith in Christ guides the way I live I will work hard and play hard, be humble, honest, love my family, be a true friend, and love the people I work with.
I am sure I could go on but these are some things that if people said them about me I would be happy with my legacy. What is one thing that you would want to be part of your legacy?
Tony Dungy a Christian Example of Great Leadership
I am not one that is enamored with important or famous people, and unlike my best friend, I do not go out of my way to introduce myself. However, on a few occasions I have found myself in the room with people whom we all stare at in airports and restaurants. Two have made lasting impressions on me because of the genuineness of their faith. The first was Beth Moore. I have often said, “She is the real deal.” There is no stage persona. Off the stage, she is truly what she models on the stage. The other is Tony Dungy, whom I recently had the privilege spending some time with during a video shoot. For those of you who are not football fans, he is a Super Bowl winning player and coach, along with a great Christian example both professionally and personally. I have been a fan since reading his book Quiet Strength. It was an amazing opportunity to be in the room with a man who has “retired” from football but not from life and is acting as an example to us all.
Here are 5 characteristics of a Godly Christian leader that I saw in him.
Humble – Tony walked in, went around the room, and humbly introduced himself as if we didn’t know who he was, to every person. I do mean everyone from the interviewers to the interns. He spoke with a gently humble voice and spirit.
Personable – He not only introduced himself to everyone in the room, but he remembered every person’s name. He even remembered someone in our office that he had only met one time some months earlier. He remembered her name, where he met her, and her family. I consider that a true gift.
Professional – When shooting video you expect multiple takes, if you didn’t know, what you see on TV is probably the editing of 3, 4, or more, takes of the same scene. Coach Dungy walked into the room and answered every question the first time. It only took one take for him every time. Not everyone in the room did that well.
Real – I was struck by how he did not think too much of himself. He just seemed like a real guy doing what God had called him to do as best he could. He shared a great story of how he is the only person to catch an interception and throw one in the same football game. He could have told us about winning the Super Bowl, the important people he has met, or a thousand other things, but he didn’t.
Model of Character – Most people don’t know, but he is a father of not only his biological children, but 4 adopted kids. Tony said that if we ask people not to abort then we have to be willing to give these children a home. He could retire and spend his days playing golf but has chosen to mentor players who need him, do prison ministry, work with All Pro Dad, write books, and a host of other things as he shares his faith and his time.
Tony Dungy, “Coach,” is a great Christian example to us all.
TELL YOUR STORY WELL
A few months ago, I was meeting with several key leaders at Lifeway, asking them about their perception of our work, what we/I could improve on… and from each person I talked with I got at least one great leadership tip. One friend suggested, “Tell your story better”.
This friend went on to share with me what Childhood Training and Events is known for: We meet our objectives and budget goals, and seem to work hard, but we are most remembered for a damaged truck. One summer, we drove a 12 foot truck under a 10 foot bridge. That story and pictures from the event were used as an analogy by our vice president before about 800 employees. Needless to say, everyone knew of the damaged truck. People constantly stopped me in the halls to ask how happened and if they could get a copy of the picture.
So the question is: what do you want to be known for? Are you working towards those goals? More importantly are you telling your stories of success? I am not a naturally gifted communicator, although I work hard at it. Because I like numbers and they tell a great story, I tend to “talk the numbers” a lot. Talking numbers is not a bad thing. Numbers are quantifiable and can tell a great story of growth and how well you manage your budget. However, what people remember are stories: stories of people, stories of what God has done in their lives, stories of how God is using people in your ministry to make a difference, and stories of how your ministry is making a difference in people’s lives.
So the next time you are asked to report on your work, take 1 minute to talk numbers and 5 minutes to tell stories of what God is doing. Better yet don’t wait for someone to ask you to report, find ways to share.
CATCH PEOPLE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT
If you’ve watched the trajectory of Starbucks, it’s jaw dropping. At one time, they were opening up a new store a week, which is mind boggling by most standards. And Starbucks is selling much more than coffee. They’re selling an atmosphere, an experience, a place to be with friends and even a status. But that’s another blog post.
Starbucks is all about great service, both to their customers and to their employees.
Several years ago, I saw a documentary on Howard Schultz, the CEO of Starbucks, in which he talked about his father losing his job and his benefits when Howard was a child. That made a profound impact on him and is the reason why every Starbucks employee has health care.
I live in Nashville where it seems every waiter/waitress, store clerk… is a musician doing other jobs to pay the bills. Healthcare benefits make Starbucks a place where starving musicians want to work.
In the documentary, Mr. Schultz was asked what he does when he visits one of his many stores. His answer was simply to catch someone doing something right. Think about it. Most of us think that our job as a leader is to improve what those we lead are doing, which is done by making sure they are doing it correctly. When translated, that just means watching for mistakes to correct. But what if we were looking for what they were doing right and then making sure we told them, and everyone else, about it. I don’t know about you, but I am more motivated by the affirmation than correction.
In “Creating Magic,” by Lee Cockerell, former Disney VP, he talks about “giving away the free fuel.” In other words, what fuels people is affirmation! And it’s FREE! It costs you nothing to encourage people, affirm their work, and to tell them when they are doing something right. And what most leaders miss is that it helps others know what is important and what good work looks like.
So this Sunday, walk around church trying to “catch people doing something right,” and then tell them and everyone around them. Nothing feels better than a good word.
Lance
P.S. Another great quote from Mr. Schultz: Our mission statement about treating people with respect and dignity is not just words but a creed we live by every day. You can’t expect your employees to exceed the expectations of your customers if you don’t exceed the employees’ expectations of management.
Valentine’s Day
As I write this post I wonder if I am really qualified to write about Valentine’s Day. I’ve been married for 23 years but I still have to double check how many years we’ve been married. My wife was smart enough to engrave our anniversary date on the inside of my wedding ring. I was smart enough to put a reminder on my electronic calendar. I am a terrible gift giver and I am not romantic. If you don’t believe me, just ask my wife. So what am I good at? I am incredibly loyal. I deeply love my wife. I help around the house, pay bills, do dishes, laundry… I pick up after myself and I am easy to please when it comes to meals. Let’s be honest, although these aren’t bad things, they don’t make me a good spouse. So I decided to enlist my wife’s help and ask her to compile a list of things women would love from their husband. Not just on Valentine’s Day but every day. She sent me back a list of 33 specific things/ideas. I made my own list and came up with 2 things (and I am a detail person). Needless to say I was reminded how men and women are different.
What I want:
1. Respect – more than anything I want and need to be respected. Guys, you have to earn it.
2. Her to initiate intimacy. Need I say more?
Maybe I am just weird, but as I wrote my list I thought this is all I really need or want from my wife. Sure dinner on the table is appreciated, but I can make a sandwich. I need her love and respect and there are lots of ways you can show your love and respect.
What Susan wants:
1. Gift cards for pampering (massage, facials, hair salon, movie tickets).
2. Maid/cleaning service a few times a year.
3. Weekend away – planned and executed by him.
4. Date night – planned and executed by him.
5. Reading to each other.
6. “No T.V.” nights/weeks -talk, pray, read together instead.
7. Help w/laundry, dishes, etc.
8. Treat her as precious and delicate and treasured – open doors for her, help her w/her coat, help her w/her chair.
9. Occasionally fill up her car w/gas and/or have it cleaned as a sweet surprise.
10. Pray for her, with her, and over her on a regular basis.
11. Find a mentor for yourself who can speak into your life, and help you continue to grow and be accountable.
12. Have close, obvious daily walk w/Christ reading His Word & allowing the Holy Spirit to lead your family/marriage.
13. Desire Jesus more than anything. Passionately pursuing Him and this will meet your wife’s deepest longings.
14. Be an encourager of her spirit. (Prov. 15:13)
15. Truthfully compliment her in front of others and to your kids.
16. Lots of hugs, touches – gentle foot massages or hand massages.
17. Come home from work happy and eager to enjoy evening w/family.
18. Stop yourself before saying anything that might hurt/humiliate her in front of others, even if you think it’s funny.
19. Display humility, and listen openly.
20. Protect her & make her feel safe ( lock/check doors before bed, maintain her car, hold her close, pray over her).
21. Go after her if she runs off upset/crying. Keep talking and loving her.
22. Don’t always try to fix her problems but just listen and hold her and discuss when she asks.
23. Be an illustration of Christ to her.
24. Be willing to say you’re sorry and humbly ask forgiveness.
25. Make financial decisions together.
26. Discipline children in unity/together.
27. Be open to her ideas/suggestions and not defensive.
28. Don’t play "devil’s advocate" but be her advocate instead.
29. Make major decisions together.
30. Open your heart to her, allowing her to feel needed and a part of your world. Ask her about her heart too.
31. Give up shows/movies your wife may not like you to watch, just out of respect for her.
32. Be a wise teacher/godly example and leader to your children – make the time regardless of confidence level.
33. Ask her, non-judgmentally, what her goals are and how you can help her meet them.
34. Fight for her and for your marriage with everything in you, no matter what it takes!
35. Suggest spending time w/other couples and doing fun things regularly.
Truthfully, Susan’s list would work for me also. I am not sure I am big on the facial and massage but who wouldn’t want someone to open their car door for them, or plan a weekend away? Ladies, remember your husband really can’t read your mind. Gentlemen, don’t get overwhelmed with the list.
Susan and I talked about her Valentine’s Day gift but truthfully showing my godly love and respect for her is worth more than anything I can buy her. The list just offers ideas on how to do that!
Lance on Leadership – You Get What You Give
This past year we took our daughter, our last child, to college and as I began to prepare myself for the big day I began to wonder what it was going to be like as “empty nesters”. I knew it was going to be different. I thought about how Susan and I would have more time together, fewer distractions, just the two of us at dinner… I quickly realized that I needed to make some changes. I cared too little about what she was doing, and too much about what I was doing. I looked for ways to avoid sharing what my plans were for the day in case she wanted me to change them. I was good about helping around the house with dishes, laundry, ironing, paying the bills, and taking care of the yard, but the truth was I wasn’t always happy about it. In short, I realized I wasn’t being a great husband and if it was going to be just the two of us, I better get to work, NOW!!! I began to invest in her. What she wanted to do was more important than what I wanted to do. I wanted her to know about my day so we could plan time together. We started to date again and I began to see her in a whole new way. I was falling in love all over again.
I realized that I was getting what I was giving. If I cared more about her, she cared more about me, or if I did the laundry, because I loved her, then she made the bed in the morning because she loved me. It’s the same in life and work. If we show people love and respect, they show us love and respect. If we speak well of our pastor, then volunteers speak well of us, and our pastor speaks well of us. If we come in early, our teachers are more likely to come in early. So decide how you want to be treated and treat those around you in the same way.
