Family – Page 5

February 19, 2020

When Diabetes Comes to Your Kids Ministry

“He has type 1 diabetes.” No parent wants to hear these words, and neither do the grandparents. When our younger son married his wonderfully sweet wife who has type 1 diabetes (T1D), we knew that they would encounter some unique challenges. What none of us expected was that their firstborn son would be diagnosed with T1D as a young toddler.

While that fact has changed the dynamics of our family, our church family has made adjustments too. Our church has adapted well through the years to minister to families of kids with diabetes. In fact, my grandson is the third preschooler I have taught at church who was diagnosed with T1D at a young age.

Recently, after meeting a mother at a church in another state whose preteen daughter has T1D, I began thinking of the pervasiveness of this complex disease and how churches can seize opportunities to minister to families of preschoolers, kids, and teens with type 1 diabetes. So, I decided to ask the parents of four children with T1D how the church can better minister to their families. Here’s what they said:

What is your greatest fear when you leave your child in the care of others at church?

That my young son would have a serious low and no one would know what to do. We didn’t even come back to church for like a month.
That a high or low blood sugar episode will be perceived as bad behavior. Most of the time these episodes can be avoided if a child wears an insulin sensor, but not every child has that opportunity. This makes it harder to determine whether or not the behavior is blood sugar related or just bad behavior.
That my child will have a severe low. We also worry the impact that will have on other kids in the children’s area and the teachers/caretakers. It is so important that anyone who is with our child knows she is diabetic, and when she says she is low she needs a snack (it should not be taken lightly).
The overwhelming feeling of knowing at any moment our child could be taken from us. Our greatest fear when we leave our daughter is that her sensor would be giving an incorrect reading, she would have a dangerous drop, and nobody would know.

What do you want your child’s teachers at church to know about your child and her needs?

An understanding of symptoms of highs and lows and knowing when to call his parents. I also think a comfort level so that the teacher isn’t panicky is a good thing. Diabetics need normal lives and parents need to feel comfortable leaving them so they can enjoy class as well.
My son’s needs vary from those of the average child. Sometimes he needs lots of water or an extra snack during class time. Also, being diabetic means he has to potty more often. His moods can change based on how high or low his sugar is, and that can happen very quickly.
Like all children, our daughter has a special need. We want her to be like all the other kids, but anyone who works with her needs to know that she is made “extra sweet” by God. So it should not be something you worry about, but teachers need to be diligent and pay attention to her needs. Workers need to know that EVERY carb needs to be treated and our child should be able to have what the other kids have as long as she is treated for it. Also, she needs to be able to have water when she asks because water will naturally bring high blood sugars down. Just like children who take medicine for other needs, our daughter does not want attention. She wants to be discreetly told carbs, and she might get defensive when asked about her insulin pump and sensor. She wants to be treated like everyone else. Also, we want leaders and teachers to always reach out to us if there are any questions or concerns.
We want our daughter’s teachers to know signs and symptoms of a problem, what to do and how to contact us. We want them to know it is a matter of life and death—it cannot wait, no matter what. Her friends are aware of these signs and symptoms and have notified an adult in the past. When our child is dropping she cannot make sense or speak normally. We also would like her teachers to know she doesn’t need to be questioned when eating a donut or any food distributed during an activity. She has the ability to communicate with us and to verify the dosage she puts into her pump. I appreciate it when I get a text from a leader giving me a heads up about what food will be offered during an activity.

What would keep you from allowing your child to participate in church activities on or off the church campus?

If my child couldn’t independently manage his diabetes, then I wouldn’t be able to let him attend functions such as lock-ins, off-site gatherings, retreats, etc, unless someone could help with that. This is still true in the youth years. My child is now in 9th grade and has yet to go on a retreat, in part because of this.
Depending on the activity, he might not be able to participate if there is a lot of energy involved in the activity. If someone was not there who could check his sugar or know when he might need to eat something to keep his sugar up, it would worry me that he might go low. Also, if the activity went long enough for him to have to eat something, someone would have to be able to count carbs and give him insulin based on his carb ratio.
If we felt that someone was not caring for her, that would make it harder for us to let her participate in an activity. We have never felt that way at our church. We have always felt that everyone goes above and beyond to look out for her. For us, the hardest church events are overnight and week-long trips. The church has always allowed me to go to summer camp with the kids to provide support. To be honest, I think we could trust the camp nurse, but as a family we are not ready for that step. I think the most important thing for anyone who is caring for our daughter to know is that if she is not responsive to get medical attention.
Her safety being compromised could keep us from allowing her to participate in certain activities at church. As she enters the youth group in 1 1/2 years, we will have to rethink Disciple Now, youth camp, scavenger hunts, etc. We will have to figure out how to fly under radar and give freedom while keeping her safe.

What is your church doing well in relation to caring for your child?

My church has always been amazing where my child is concerned. His teachers have always been interested in knowing what they can do to help so that he is able to attend class.
Our son’s teachers and those he comes into contact with are constantly aware of what he is eating and how much. They then relay that information to us, his parents, so we can give him insulin. They are also attuned to his moods and check his sensor if his mood changes. They are very flexible and patient when it comes to dealing with him.
Communicating and doing what is needed to protect our daughter.
Our church is doing a fantastic job in caring for our daughter. We can text her leaders and/or staff members if anything is needed. They even have provided us with a monthly date night that has been a tremendous blessing. She enjoys this “Preteen Night Out “ more than any other activity! She’s just like every other child when she’s at church because of what our staff does to make this possible. If a children’s ministry is run like a recreation center then this built-in protection doesn’t work. Our staff plans strategically and effectively executes the ministries that operate within the umbrella of the children’s ministry. It is because of clearly communicated information, safe environments, and highly trained volunteers and staff that I can honestly say that we are 100% confident in our church’s ability to respond to our child’s medical needs.

In what ways could your church improve in ministering to your child and your family?

Honestly, your child being diagnosed with diabetes is devastating. It takes you completely off guard and changes every single thing about life as you know it. I remember feeling helpless and lost. I could barely function for months. It was probably the worst period of my life—or at least akin to some of the worst things I’ve ever been through. You feel so alone. People really don’t understand. I sat awake many nights watching my son breathe in those early days because I was terrified that he might die in his sleep. It was crippling. The financial burden can be quite heavy. I think just verbal support, maybe a care team, meal train, a pastoral visit, cards, etc. would be great. Even people who are willing to learn how to take care of your child and offer to babysit would be so welcomed. You can’t leave a diabetic child with just anyone. There were years that it was me, his dad, or my mom that could keep him and that was absolutely all the help I had.
Always make sure there is someone in the room (especially during Extended Teaching Care) who knows about my son’s condition and will know if and when to contact us (his parents) for help.
We are very fortunate—or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it—to have several families impacted by T1D. I can remember two different moms calling me or finding me at church to grieve with me. One of those moms told me that it is almost like you are grieving because you know that your child will never be the same. It is important for the church family to be there for the parents as they navigate a whole new world.
I realize not all children’s ministries are run like ours. Certain things must be in place to have an effective plan for children with T1D. The things that must be in place are consistent staff with an awareness of the disease, consistent teachers, and a plan of action in the event of an emergency. A non-chaotic environment is a necessity. I think an annual meeting with a staff member, the child, and his or her parents, would be good to evaluate what went well and what could use improvement. I want to know how to better put her leaders at ease and educate them. I want to know how I can make things easier on staff if there is something that is complicated. I think churches should have an awareness of what T1D is and isn’t, and the amazing role they can play in loving a family and shaping the heart of a child.

Is there anything else you want churches to consider related to children with diabetes?

Caring for a child with diabetes is not something to be feared. If teachers and caregivers have an understanding of what they need to do to help the child, the child with T1D will be able to function and learn about the love of Jesus just like any other child.
The biggest thing is to treat diabetic children just like the other kids but be aware that they may need special treats, extra water, or a text message to mom during VBS asking the carbs in the snack.

Parents of kids with T1D want their church family to love and accept their child, be aware of their child’s special needs, respond to those needs appropriately, help their child have as normal of an experience at church events as possible, and always communicate regularly with parents.

Remember, kids with T1D don’t want to be coddled or singled out. So, let’s partner with parents to ensure that all kids can have fun with friends as they learn about Jesus at church.

Landry Holmes is the Manager of Lifeway Kids Ministry Publishing. A graduate of Howard Payne University and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, Landry served on church staffs before joining Lifeway Kids. He is a church leader, writer, workshop facilitator, and publisher. Landry also teaches children at his church in Middle Tennessee. He and his wife Janetta are the parents of two adult sons and two daughters-in-law, and the grandparents of four adorable grandchildren.

Encouragement, Family, Family Ministry, Kids Ministry, Parent Helps, Parenting, Preschool, Preteen

January 27, 2020

30 Things Parents Should Say to Their Kids

By Brian Dembowczyk

Words matter. The words parents use have great power to give life to their kids. Here are 30 life-giving things parents should consider saying to their kids on a regular basis.

In the Book of James we read that the tongue, although quite small, can do great things. We are also warned to control the tongue, because it can just as easily do terrible things (James 3:2-12). When we think of controlling the tongue, we often think of stopping it from saying harmful things, but sometimes the greatest harm a parent’s tongue can do is to be still. It’s not enough for kids not to hear life-taking words, they also need to hear life-giving words. Here are 30 life-giving things parents should consider saying to their kids on a regular basis.

I love you.
God loves you.
I will always love you no matter what, because you are my son/daughter.
You are a blessing, a gift from God.
I am proud of you.
I am glad that you are my son/daughter.
If God would have let me choose whomever I wanted to be my son/daughter, I would have chosen you.
When you grow up, you can be whatever God calls you to be.
You matter because you matter to God.
You can tell me anything, and I will listen.
God wants you to make much of Him right now wherever you are in whatever you do.
I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?
I forgive you.
I trust you.
I like who you are.
Mistakes happen.
God forgives.
Trust in Christ.
What are you reading about in your Bible?
What are you talking to God about when you pray?
You are an image bearer of God, a person of infinite worth.
Why you do what you do matters as much as what you do.
How can I pray for you?
Have fun and laugh today.
You have my total attention.
What do you think?
(Grades, sports, etc.) is not most important; God is.
Let’s do that together.
You give me joy.
Yes.

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to Lifeway. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Crafts, Family, Fun, Games, Parent Helps

January 20, 2020

5 Ideas for Indoor Fun

By Kids Ministry 101

Depending on where you live, the winter months can be brutal, with temperatures so low that taking the kids outside isn’t an option unless absolutely necessary. Even if you live near an indoor amusement park or an indoor swimming pool, those can get crowded during the winter months—which is also the height of flu season!—and the entry fees and/or costs to play can add up.

On days when you’re all stuck at home, what can you do to keep the kids—and yourself—from getting cabin-fever? While letting your children watch TV or play video games for a reasonable amount of time is fun for them and gives you some time to yourself, plopping your kids in front of screens all day isn’t good for them, can trigger waves of guilt in you, and does nothing to promote your family’s bond.

The benefits of family bonding are well-established and far-reaching. Making time to communicate positively with your children can boost their self-esteem and lower the incidences of childhood depression and anxiety. Moreover, making time to establish a close bond with your children can improve their school performance, problem-solving skills, and relationships with teachers and peers.

There are many ways to spend quality time at home with our children that include bond-building communication and fun, and exclude reliance on screen time. Here are 5 fun (and cheap!) activities to do at home with your kids when it’s too cold to go outside.

At the end of the games, be sure to hand out prizes to each child whether the prizes be homemade medals or, if you can plan ahead, inexpensive pre-ordered gold medals.

Set up an indoor campground. Bring the sleeping bags and tents up from the basement or down from the attic and turn your family room into an indoor campground. No sleeping bags or tents? No problem. Create a campground by arranging chairs in rows of two in the family room, draping a bedsheet over the chairs to create the tent, and piling pillows and blankets underneath to create a sleep area.

You can make your indoor campground as elaborate as you’d like with items you already have in your home. String Christmas lights across the top of the tent to create a starry night scene. Enjoy the glow of a campground “fire” made with paper towel tubes, tissue paper, and LED candles. Set up lawn chairs outside the tent and serve hot dogs, chips, and trail mix; play cards and board games; or do an easy craft like making beaded necklaces or braided bracelets.

Add to the camping aura by having the kids help you make indoor s’mores in the microwave, oven, skillet, or, for a more “outdoorsy” experience, over a well-ventilated sterno flame.
Host indoor Olympic games. If you look in toy boxes and closets, you’ll probably find that you have enough games and activities at home to arrange back-to-back and create a challenging obstacle course for your kids to compete in, tantamount to a kiddie indoor Olympic course!

You can kick off the indoor “Olympic games” with an opening ceremony in which each child gets to parade onto the course to a theme song of his or her choosing. Depending on your child’s age, he or she may want to grab a favorite teddy bear to serve as his or her Olympic mascot. At the close of the opening ceremonies, get your stopwatch and scorecard ready and time your little Olympians as they compete in consecutive games of skill and physical fitness such as: a ring or beanbag toss, a mini golf course competition (a broom, a Ping Pong® ball, and a plastic cup can be used in place of a golf club, golf ball, and hole), or a ball throwing competition into boxes of decreasing sizes, with a point given per successful shot for each of these activities:
- a sack race or a boiled egg and spoon race with a demarcated finish line and points given to the first person over the finish line;
- a hula hoop competition with a point given for each second the competitors can hold up their hula hoop
- a pyramid cup-stacking race with points given to the first person to successfully stack his or her cups into a stable pyramid;
- a physical endurance competition where points are given for the number of jumping jacks, push-ups, and sit-ups the child can do in three 30-second intervals; and
- a mad dash crabwalk to the final finish line of the indoor Olympic games.
Send the kids off on a scavenger hunt. Staying indoors can be a blast when the kids are set off on a scavenger hunt to seek and collect common household items. The scavenger hunt can be subject to a time-limit where each child competes alone or are organized by teams to see which team collects the most items first. Print out a free indoor scavenger hunt checklist listing 40 everyday household items for seekers to find here.
Throw a costume party. Let your kids raid Mom and Dad’s room for hats, scarves, and costume jewelry to put on a costume party. Add snacks and a tea set to make it a tea party-themed costume party. For a quick and easy costume, take out several rolls of toilet paper and wrap your kids up like mummies (without covering the nose and mouth area). For a fun competition with several family members, split the group up into teams where one person volunteers to be the mummy while the other does the wrapping. The team that can wrap up their mummy the fastest and the neatest wins.
Hold an art show. Grab smocks for your kids and spread out watercolors and brushes, crayons, markers, and colored pencils on a table along with poster board and construction paper. Provide glue sticks and safety scissors to allow for added artistic touches. Once your little artists have created their masterpieces, hang up the artwork and host an art show complete with glasses of apple juice “champagne” and hor d’oeuvres.

Make spending a cold day at home fun and educational for you and your child with these activities and remember that carving out quality time for your child is important at any time of year, in any weather!

Dolores Smyth writes about parenting and faith. A perfect day for her includes running, reading, and spending time with her husband and three kids. Follow her on Twitter @LolaWordSmyth.This article appears in the January 2020 issue of ParentLife. For more information or to order, visit www.lifeway.com/parentlife.

Family, Fun, Games, Parent Helps, Parenting

December 30, 2019

It’s Cold Outside: 3 Things to Do in Winter with Kids

By Kids Ministry 101

Winter is knocking on our doors. As you approach this season of long days stuck inside with bored kids, take some time now to prepare for a little fun.

Box O’ Fun

Purchase a tub and fill it with tons of creative supplies. At our house this tub contains:

Construction Paper
Blank Paper
Scissors
Glue
Markers
Crayons
Colored Pencils
Coloring Books
Play Dough
Kinetic Sand
Washi Tape
Pipe Cleaners
Googly Eyes
Watercolors
Paintbrushes
Stamps
Ink Pads
Glitter
Glitter Glue

Make a visit to your local dollar store and load up on any craft supplies you can find. Keep the TV off for a few hours and encourage your kids to craft their hearts away! Make thank-you cards for Christmas gifts, use cardboard boxes to make robots, cars, or homes for stuffed animals. The possibilities are really endless and you will be amazed at the creations your kids will come up with.

Living Room Slumber Party

Tell your kids to throw on a fresh pair of pajamas and bring their pillows and blankets to the living room. Pile everyone up on the floor and turn on your family’s favorite movie. Make sure to pop some popcorn and grab a sweet snack to share. When the movie is over, let each child pick a board game to play. Everyone gets a turn! Our favorites include Hedbanz^®, SushiGo^®, and Chutes and Ladders^®. Looking to really surprise your kids? Pillow fight! The laughter is sure to ensue.

Indoor Snow Storm

Keep a spare ream of white copy paper and a large bag of cotton balls around the house just for days like this. Give the whole stack of paper to your kids and encourage them to make as many paper snowflakes as they can. When they’ve finished, tape them to the windows and anywhere else you want! Cover the house in snowflakes. You can even string them from light fixtures, stick them to bathroom mirrors, and attach them to your door frames. When the house looks like a snowstorm hit it, divvy up the bag of cotton balls and throw an indoor snowball fight! Let your inner child come out as you play along with your kids!

Nancy Cornwell is the content editor for ParentLife magazine and the mom of three kids. She is always looking for good ideas to keep them entertained at home.This article first appeared in the December 2019 issue of ParentLife.

Advent, Christmas, Family, Fun, Games, Kids Ministry, Parent Helps, Resources

December 16, 2019

Christmas Activities for Kids: Christmas Tree Bingo

By Jeremy Carroll

Looking for a fun activity for your Birthday Party for Jesus or Christmas session? How about Christmas Tree Bingo? This isn’t your normal sit-at-a-table Bingo game. This is more active and way more fun.

Download the Christmas Tree Bingo card here.

Object: Find every item and mark every square on your Christmas Bingo card.

Option if time is limited: Play traditional five-in-a-row or require two Bingos, one horizontal and one vertical.

Preparation and planning:

Print one copy of the Christmas Bingo card for each child. Printing two per sheet makes them roughly 5.5-by-8.5-inches and saves paper!
Choose 35-40 tree decorations to correspond with your Christmas Bingo card squares.
Print icons or words on a sheet of address labels. Icons are best for younger kids but may be harder to find. Each word should correspond with an ornament on your tree. Using standard size address labels, printed two words on each label then cut them in half. This will be square stickers kids will use to create their Christmas Bingo cards. Click here to download a sample list of some ornaments you could include.
Decorate a Christmas tree with your chosen Christmas Bingo ornaments. Add more ornaments, garland, lights, or other tree decorations for additional challenge and fun.

The last time I played this game, I set our Christmas tree in a place that the children could not touch it. This was for obvious reasons, like I didn’t want someone to knock the tree over, but also to add an additional challenge. Part of my instructions to the kids included “You may not get within reach of the Christmas tree.” Kids had to find the items from a short distance away without touching the tree. There are 24 empty squares on each Christmas Bingo card so my goal was to have 35-40 ornaments, some represented by stickers and some not, and have at least 30 different words/icons on stickers to add variety.

Instructions:

As kids arrive, guide them select one blank Christmas Bingo card.
Kids select a different sticker (from the cut address labels) for each square and place it on his/her Christmas Bingo card. Stickers may not be on a card more than once. This allows each child’s Christmas Bingo card to be different, adding challenge and creativity.
After each square has a sticker, kids are guided the Christmas tree to look for each item on their Christmas Bingo card. When an item is found, kids should mark that item off on their card. You can use stamps, pencil, or marker to mark off found items.
If a kids finishes quickly, she can color her Christmas Bingo card to decorate a border or draw a picture on the back.
If desired, have a prize for the first child who gets a “bingo,” or a prize for each child as he completes a “bingo.”

Download the Christmas Tree Bingo card here.

Christmas, Family, Fun, Games, Kids Ministry, Large Group, Parent Helps, Resources, Teaching Kids

December 11, 2019

Happy Birthday Jesus! 3 Tips for Throwing a Birthday Party for Jesus.

By Jeremy Carroll

Kids love birthday parties. At least, every kid I have ever met does.

Download the free Take the Fun Home card for parents.

Jesus’ birth into the world is one of the most important events in all of history. Even the way we number our years is related to Jesus’ birth. For example, AD 2020 is “in the year of the Lord 2020.” Jesus’ birth is also, of course, one of the most important events in salvation history. With Jesus’ birth in Bethlehem, all the history of the Old Testament would begin to come into focus. Jesus’ birth can also be seen as the launching pad for everything that followed this pivotal moment in time. If this isn’t enough reason to throw a party, I don’t know what would be!

So why not celebrate during the month of December with a birthday party for Jesus? Here are three tips for throwing a Birthday Party for Jesus.

Tip #1 – Make it a PARTY!

Celebrate with decorations. Inflate balloons, hang streamers, give out party hats, and so forth. Decorations can be elaborate without being a burden on your budget and will give your space an instant face-lift.
Celebrate with a one-day schedule change. If your kids ministry typically meets in separate classrooms, explore the option to bring everyone together for the party.
Celebrate with invitations. Mail postcard invitations to every child on your roll. Provide additional invitations to each child and challenge kids to invite a friend. Everyone loves being invited to a party!
Celebrate with singing. Not just “Happy Birthday,” though I would recommend singing this one too. Sing other Christmas carols that share the joy of Christmas.

Tip #2 – Make it FUN!

Make it delicious. Have cake or cupcakes and juice boxes. Few things will raise the fun factor the way passing out cake will. Don’t forget to post an allergy alert and have a quick standby option for those with food allergies.
Make it engage. Wearing party hats and providing noise makers can be an instant hit.
Make it memorable. Give out party favors when kids leave. Have a small bag of goodies for each child to take with them. Bonus if each goodie bag item points kids to the gospel (i.e. glow-in-the-dark necklace for “Jesus is the Light of the World”)
Make it active. Playing games will likely be a bullseye on the fun target.
- Assign kids to teams and play for points.
- Collect large scraps of paper or buy a pack of colored construction paper, mark a line down the center of your space dividing kids into two teams, and have a “snowball fight”
- Minute-to-Win It type games are usually easy to prepare and can be a huge hit.
- Check out Kid Min Toolbox: Great Games that Teach for a great source of quick games

Tip #3 – Make it about JESUS!

Don’t forget to tell the Christmas story. Keep it short. Read the Bible passages or show a video, but be sure to include the reason for the party.
Keep Jesus at the center. Don’t lose Him in the fun and games.
- Debrief each game with a gospel connection.
- Connect each party favor to a Bible truth.
When choosing songs to sing, choose songs about Jesus’ birth and other worship songs to focus kids voices and hearts on Jesus.

Bonus tip—Provide this Take the Fun Home card with some suggested ideas for parents to have a Birthday Party for Jesus in their home and invite other families to join together.

With a little creativity and preparation, kids in your church and community will be engaged in a fresh way with the joy Jesus brings this Christmas season.

Family, Parent Helps, Thanksgiving

November 18, 2019

Helping Families Give Thanks This Thanksgiving

By Kids Ministry 101

The family feast is coming, and I’m looking forward to it as much as anyone. My normal contribution to the spread each year includes a few pies and a side dish or two. These goodies are a fun part of the annual Thanksgiving festivities, and items that we’re all grateful to have. But, other than wolfing down another slice of pumpkin pie, do you ever stop to count your other blessings, “naming them one-by-one” as the old hymn suggests?

When we think of our blessings broken down in this way, we have so much to be thankful for! But before we become proud in thinking this has anything to do with our own goodness, we need to keep some things in mind: God is the provider of all good things in our lives. In Psalm 121:1-2 we read: “Where will my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”

As a reminder, things in life as we know them can disappear so quickly! We must change our mindset to one of thankfulness each day — not just in November. So, after we get this “attitude of gratitude” drilled down into our thinking, how can we enhance and pass on this philosophy to our kids early in their lives?

Through the Senses

Help your child with hands-on projects to show thankfulness for what she has by sharing with others. Use sight, taste, touch, hearing, and smell to get a start with these outreach projects.

Preschoolers can create a watercolor picture as a Thanksgiving “card” for an elderly neighbor.
A simple fall-scented candle would make a great gift for a friend of any age.
Record a cheerful message from your child(ren) on your phone and then text it to relatives and friends who live too far away to visit in person.
Share your homemade goodies with some international students who are “stuck alone” on campus over the holiday.

Through Relationships

When you hear of a friend or family member experiencing a challenging situation, take note of it. Find ways to include your kids in reaching out as a way of showing gratitude for the ability to help during this difficult time.

Take some food to a friend or family member who recently lost a job.
Buy additional baby items (diapers, bottles, formula, pacifiers) for a young family you know who may be a little tight over the holidays.
Provide a “free” night of childcare for someone with young kids, knowing they are typically stretched financially.
Invite a single adult from church or work to your home for the holiday mealtime fun if they don’t have a place to go to for the day.

Through the Community & World

Keep yourself updated on needs in your community and (for older kids) the world. When you see a way your family might help, discuss a plan for meeting some of those needs.

A project such as Operation Christmas Child® is a great way to enlarge your child’s focus toward people outside his immediate circle of family and friends.
Check community boards at local gyms and churches for tangible ways to help in surrounding neighborhoods with service projects, or provision of clothing or food items.

Always remember to verbally express your own thankfulness for God’s goodness when interacting with your family members. Your children especially will enjoy hearing your excitement as you recount God’s blessings in your life.

Dixie Walker has been in childhood ministry with families and teachers for the past 20 years. She and her family reside in the metro Atlanta area.

This article first appeared in the November 2017 issue of ParentLife.

Advent, Christmas, Devotional, Family, Kids Ministry, Parent Helps

November 1, 2019

2019 Family Advent Guide

By Jeremy Carroll

In the opening verses of the Gospel of Luke he writes:

“Many have undertaken to compile a narrative about the events that have been fulfilled among us… It also seemed good to me, since I have carefully investigated everything from the very first, to write to you in an orderly sequence, most honorable Theophilus, so that you may know the certainty of the things about which you have been instructed” (Luke 1:1-4, emphasis added).

Luke wrote an orderly sequence of Jesus’ life so that Theophilus and all other readers could have confidence in the gospel message. During the Advent season, we have the opportunity to encourage the parents we serve to guide their children toward a similar goal of having a confident hope in Jesus’ birth.

Hope, love, joy, and peace are a few of the good gifts God has given to us. During this Christmas season, let’s remember and celebrate Jesus’ coming to earth as a baby, making a way for us to experience these gifts. Our prayer is that families will spend time each week celebrating Jesus’ birth and the hope and joy He offers.

Click here for the free Family Advent Guide.

Share this resource with families in your community to help them focus on the hope, love, peace, and joy that only Jesus can bring. He is the gift we proclaim. Let’s celebrate!

Encouragement, Family

August 14, 2019

5 Lessons I’m Learning as a Dad of Kids with Anxiety

By Brian Dembowczyk

Many kids struggle with anxiety today, not a mere nervousness, but rather what can be an overwhelming and paralyzing fear. In this blog post, I share a few lessons I’m learning on how to help my own kids who struggle with anxiety in hope that they help you navigate the anxiety that might occur in your ministry.

Anxiety is an ever-present foe in my family, one which I despise. Two of my kids struggle with anxiety pretty much on a daily basis, and as their father, it destroys me to see it. Anxiety, like depression, is a word we throw around quite a bit, so let me explain what I mean, or perhaps rather what I don’t mean.

When I say my kids struggle with anxiety, I don’t mean that they worry some or that they get nervous on occasion. Oh, they do worry and get nervous, but it’s much more than that. For most of us, we can control those feelings. We can make sense of them and keep them in proportion. But my kids can’t. Their anxiety overwhelms them. It plagues their minds and crushes their hearts. That’s why I say they struggle with anxiety. They don’t want to be anxious and they try to fight against it, but it is a battle they often lose. They don’t just have anxiety; anxiety has them.

For my family, we see anxiety manifest itself in so many ways: going to school, being in new situations, experiencing changes in our routine, knowing where mom is, and even seeing a friend in the park. Handling these episodes of anxiety is challenging enough for me, let alone knowing how to help my kids during them. I tend not to be a worrier, so it’s hard for me to relate with what they are experiencing. Plus, I’m a problem-solver; I want to fix what is “broken” so I often come at these episodes from that unrealistic posture. Add to the mix that I am a selfish sinner who often lacks the grace and patience my kids need and deserve, and it is a formula of failure more than one of success.

But in God’s kindness, He is teaching me—ever so slowly—how to support my kids during and through their anxiety. Here are five lessons He’s driving into me:

1. Knowing what not to say matters … greatly. We mean well, but often our desire to say something outweighs the wisdom of what we actually say. The result is that we can offer what comes across as platitudes. I’ve told my kids, “don’t worry,” but I can see how that rings hollow. Telling them not to worry, as if they can but are choosing not to, just doesn’t help. In that moment they cannot not worry. Another one I’ve said is, “everything is OK.” While I know that to be true, my kids don’t feel that truth in the moment. Rather, it’s better for me to acknowledge their struggle. Acknowledge that what they’re experiencing is difficult and let them know I’m sorry they are experiencing it, but I will be with them during it and through it. “This stinks. I’m so sorry you are feeling this right now. I’m here with you. We will get through it.”

Likewise, be careful about quoting Bible passages, such as Matthew 6:25-34, Philippians 4:6-7, or 1 Peter 5:7, as if a kid struggling with anxiety only needs to understand and believe these verses to be OK. Yes, the gospel is the ultimate answer for all that is broken in the world, but just as we wouldn’t quote Psalm 103:3 instead of giving penicillin to a child with pneumonia, we shouldn’t only give Bible verses to our kids. Rather, we want to remind our kids of God’s sovereign power and His love for them. We want to encourage our kids that the gospel says that in Christ, they are fully loved and accepted by God, no matter what—even if they might feel like a failure because of their worries and doubts. Give them life through God’s Word, not potential, albeit accidental, condemnation.

2. Patience is not a virtue; patience is a necessity. Perhaps my greatest struggle with my kids’ anxiety is my lack of patience. It’s actually a problem for me in general, but when it comes to helping kids navigate anxiety, patience is not a virtue, it’s a must. So the best thing for us to do is to pray up. Remind ourselves that the kid doesn’t want to be anxious—it’s not a choice. Ask God to help frustration give way to compassion. Step away for a minute if possible and needed. Getting frustrated, or even mad as I have done at times, doesn’t help anyone—you, or especially the kid.

3. Find and Encourage Tools that Help. My kids have been helped a great deal with tools taught or given to them by counselors. Perhaps it is saying something or focusing thoughts on something. Or perhaps it is squeezing a stress ball. Having tools to use can greatly help a child experiencing anxiety, but there may be times when the anxiety is so severe, it’s difficult to even get the kid to use those tools. Be ready for that. For me, it only adds to my frustration, so I need to be mentally and spiritually ready to help my kids help themselves when they refuse to use the tools they have been given. The flip side of this is that a kid who has found tools that work can provide help and encouragement to others. We have seen this with our kids helping one another when one is struggling and it is a beautiful reminder of God’s kindness to use any bad for His glory (see Gen 50:20).

4. Routines Give Comfort. The best way to help with anxiety is to help your kid proactively. One of the best methods I have found is to create and guard routines as much as possible. For my kids, new and different prompt panic. The fear of the unknown is very real for them. As a result, we try to guard our family routine as much as we can. Comfortable, familiar rhythms are a balm on the mind and heart of a child who struggles with anxiety. But there will be times when new situations cannot, and should not, be avoided. Prepare your kid for the upcoming event by reviewing the schedule, talking about specific areas that might prompt anxiety, and planning on what tools would be most helpful.

5. Lighten the load. In light of the last tip, do what you can to lighten the load. Keep life as consistent and simple as possible. This means saying “no” to plenty of things, even good things. For our family, this might mean abstaining from various one-time events that pop up and trying to protect our daily schedule as best as we can (such as dinner time and bedtime). In the classroom, this might mean being extra careful about changing your routine, and when you do, giving any kids who struggle with anxiety plenty of advance notice. Talk them through exactly what will be happening … and be ready to have that conversation more than just once!

Family, Family Ministry, Kids Ministry

July 17, 2019

When Your Child is Anxious: 3 Ways You Can Help

By Kids Ministry 101

Welcome back to KidsMinstry 101 guest blogger, Josh Straub!

We had a faulty smoke detector last week at our house. My refusal to spend more money on a new detector was the only thing that kept me from taking a sledgehammer to it. After changing out the batteries twice, I finally reset it—only to discover after loud chirping twelve hours later (at 6:00 AM) it was an entirely different detector that needed to be reset.

The chirping went on for days. One evening, as I tried to fix it, I thought it would be a good idea to tell our 4-year-old son, Landon, and 2-year-old daughter, Kennedy, what it meant if that beeping sound ever went off.

“When you hear this alarm,” I told them, “it means we have to get out of the house.”

“But why, Daddy?” asked our son, with a look of panic on his face.

“Well, buddy,” I replied…

BEEP! BEEP!

The system chirped again. Landon welled up with tears. “Daddy, we have to get out,” he said, visibly scared.

Kennedy started to cry too.

With an annoying smoke detector going off and two crying kids, I began to wish I had told them it was the ice cream truck outside. There’s nothing a good ice cream sandwich won’t fix.

Now, every time they hear a beeping sound, they talk about it — because surely the battery in the toaster oven, doorbell, or construction truck going backward is about to die. I’m just happy they’re learning to talk about it.

Here are three ways we can help our kids when they feel anxious.

1. Let them ask questions.

Putting language to what we feel is like emotional brain surgery. Simply allowing our kids to voice what they fear reduces anxiety. That’s because when their feeling neurons connect with language neurons in their brain, it helps them begin to make sense of their experience.

The other night I opened the windows in our kids’ playroom upstairs. Landon, Kennedy and I stood looking out the window at a neighbor’s cat and a rabbit nearby. Landon started to push his head against the screen. I told him not to push the screen because he could break it.

A few seconds later he asked me to read the sticker on the screen. Not knowing what it said, I just read it aloud. “Warning: Screen will not stop child from falling out window. Keep child away from open window.”
Yeah. And this happened the night after the beeping sound. Talk about overwhelming your already anxious child. Not much was said after that. Landon just slowly moved away from the window and played with his trains.

Later that night, at 2:30 AM, I felt a nudge beside my bed. “Daddy,” Landon said, “if I push on the screen, I’ll fall out of the window, right?”

Groggily, I stood up, walked him back to his bed and lay down with him. “We shouldn’t push on the screen,” I answered.

Knowing he was worried, I figured I would go sleep in his bed with him. Not more than five minutes later, Kennedy woke up. As I went to put her back to bed, Landon welled up with tears.

“Daddy, will you come back?”

This was out of the norm — so much that Christi, who was awake by now as well, heard Landon crying. She walked over to his room and lay down with him. “Buddy, what’s wrong?” she asked in a calm voice, “What questions do you have?”

Lord bless her, she lay with him for the next 30 minutes just talking. Landon asked questions; Christi answered them. Landon talked about his fears; Christi put them into perspective.

When Christi came back to bed she said, “He’s learning about the dangers of the world, but doesn’t know how to process them.”

Her calm voice and listening ear in the middle of the night was gold for our son’s brain. I was ready to settle for the bronze and just lie down and go back to sleep beside him.

2. Play with them.

Especially for children up until the age of 7, fantasy play is critical for calming their fears. Play is about power and powerlessness.

When Christi and I came home from a date night at 9:30 PM, Landon had waited up in his bed until we got home. He was so excited as I entered his room. Standing on his bed, arms spread wide, he said, “Daddy, you’re home!”

The next day I was playing with Landon and Kennedy. We built a fort. With Kennedy and I inside, Landon declared, “You guys lay down and pretend I just got home from work. When I come home, stand up and say, ‘Landon, you’re home!’”

Children use play to make sense of their feelings. Taking 20 minutes a day to enter into their world and allow them to dictate the play has powerful implications on emotional intelligence and self-competence later in life.

3. Be calm.

If we’re anxious, our kids don’t know if they can be safe. Anxiety has a trickle-down effect on kids. In fact, one research study shows that a parent’s ability to manage their own stress is the second-best parenting strategy — only behind love and affection — for getting the outcomes we desire most in our kids.

Be realistic about the reaction you give and the real danger of the situation. A skinned knee isn’t a disaster; it’s a mark of your kids having fun.

Joshua Straub, Ph.D. is a speaker, author, and marriage and leadership coach. He and his wife, Christi, cohost the In This Together podcast and are coauthors a new children’s book, What Am I Feeling? and a new Bible study, Homegrown: Cultivating Kids in the Fruit of the Spirit. Josh also is the author of Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well. Josh equips leaders, military families, and churches in emotional intelligence and family wellness.

Looking for more? Connect with ParentLife online at facebook.com/parentlife. Order at lifeway.com/parentlife.

When Diabetes Comes to Your Kids Ministry

30 Things Parents Should Say to Their Kids

5 Ideas for Indoor Fun

It’s Cold Outside: 3 Things to Do in Winter with Kids

Christmas Activities for Kids: Christmas Tree Bingo

Happy Birthday Jesus! 3 Tips for Throwing a Birthday Party for Jesus.

Helping Families Give Thanks This Thanksgiving

2019 Family Advent Guide

5 Lessons I’m Learning as a Dad of Kids with Anxiety

When Your Child is Anxious: 3 Ways You Can Help

All Ministry Sites

Digital Resources

Lifeway Network