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Soapin’ you have a merry Christmas!
Ministering to Parents of Kids with Special Needs
The number of children with special needs is rising. These needs may include physical, emotional, or cognitive differences. Some needs are obvious, while others may not be. I am not an expert in special needs ministry; however, through my years in ministry, I’ve learned parents of special needs children need to be ministered to as much as their children. Parents have shared their stories of heartache. Unfortunately, some of these encounters were at church. Use the four ways listed below to minister to these parents and families.
- Listen and pray. Ask parents to share their story. Allow them to share their struggles. By listening, you connect with them and discover ways to minister. Pray for them and pray with them.
- Always welcome them. Be genuinely happy to see parents and special needs children. More than likely, you and I are not aware of the struggles they face each day. Many times it’s an accomplishment to make it to church. Some families may feel they are a burden to your ministry. Protect against that perception. Families need to feel welcomed.
- Share encouraging words and affirm parents. Every parent needs to hear positive words about their child, especially parents of children with special needs. Children with special needs are a blessing to our churches and ministries.
- Educate teachers and parents of typically developing children. We can’t assume children, parents, and teachers have had exposure to kids with special needs. They may feel fearful, uncomfortable, not knowing what to say or how to act. Others may stare, or jump to conclusions about a child’s behavior. This hurts deeply. Use opportunities to educate parents and children to show compassion and kindness to children with special needs. Teach them to talk with them and get to know the child and the family. Help teachers connect with parents to gain information about their specific child in order to help the child have a positive experience at church.
I encourage you to learn more about special needs ministry. Leading a Special Needs Ministry is an invaluable resource for churches. We must seek ways to minister these children and their families. Churches need to be a place where families feel loved and encouraged.
Delanee Williams serves as a Ministry Specialist with LifeWay Kids. She is a graduate of Baylor University and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Delanee has served in kids ministry for over twenty years and is passionate about developing, equipping and encouraging leaders.
When ADHD Comes to Church
Today, it is hard to imagine that every church does not have a least one child in each classroom that exhibits manifestations of ADHD. ADHD results from a subtle malfunction in the intricate transmission of neurochemical messages between brain cells. This condition seems to affect boys a little more than girls and is characterized by behavioral and learning disorders. A child with ADHD will have problems in two major areas: hyperactive-impulsive behavior and inattentiveness. These children are often judged by their behavior and often labeled as defiant or silly.
It is important that church Bible study leaders create a learning environment that enables all children (even those with ADHD) to learn about Jesus and feel accepted with unconditional love. As a grandparent with more than one grandchild diagnosed with ADHD, it is my heart’s desire that as a KidMin leader you take the time to understand the characteristics of these kids and be committed to developing strategies for a fun, safe time at church.
These amazing kids can exhibit any/all of these characteristics:
- Lack of impulse control
- Challenged with turn-taking
- Difficulty in following directions
- Has a tendency to not stay with the group
- Will demonstrate times of fidgeting, tapping, and squirming
Suggested strategies include:
- Start fresh with every session. Each child needs to feel that you are glad he has come to church.
- Set clear expectations and limit your room to a few basic rules.
- Post a visual schedule; placing times on elements in the session can frustrate children with ADHD and they become stressed when the group does not stay on schedule. They do like the consistency of knowing what order to expect.
- Provide a merging time at the beginning of learning sessions. This gives them an opportunity to “ease into the environment.” Purpose to have a more structured group time later in the session.
- Limit “sit still” time. Plan for “hands-on” activities.
- Offer “fidget toys” during times of listening.
- Keep transition times to a minimum.
- Make sure you have the child’s attention. If necessary, have the child repeat a given direction.
- When possible, include a video element. This can be captivating for kids with ADHD.
- Enlist an additional helper to “shadow” a child with ADHD.
- Provide encouragement for the child’s parent(s). They can often be exhausted and frustrated and so appreciate that you love their child and are excited to have him/her in your class.
Closing note: I teach four-year-olds on Sunday mornings. I find it very interesting that EVERY week my student with ADHD at some point in the session will say, “I love you, Mr. Jerry!” That, my fellow KidMin leaders, is one of life’s greatest rewards! It is, indeed, worth the time to understand ADHD and be willing to develop strategies so that all kids have the opportunity to learn about the Creator of the universe and His Son, Jesus.
Jerry Vogel serves as an Editorial Ministry Specialist in LifeWay Church Resources. He is married to Janie and has four children and thirteen grand kids. Jerry is committed to enriching the lives of those who teach kids as well as making eternal investments in the lives of children.
Tips for Including Kids with Special Needs
Welcome Guest Blogger: Dr. Tracy McElhattan
At just about every workshop I lead, I get a similar line of questioning that starts like this: “We don’t have a special needs ministry at our church, but …”
I know it may feel overwhelming to get started with a plan for including children with special needs, and that’s ok! The good news is you don’t have to have a dedicated staff member or a large ministry for children with special needs and their families. Start where you are, with what you have, and do what works for your church.
The following are some examples of effective ways to include children with special needs in the classroom environment at your church:
- Educate yourself and your team. This could look like a home visit or having families fill out an information page. If you don’t know something, ask! Locate resources to help your team. Reach out to parents.
- Minimize environmental distractions. Reduce sensory input. Dim the lights, turn down music, minimize wall decorations, use calming colors, and have a quiet space within your classroom.
- Maximize predictability of classroom routines. Have a consistent routine, teach expectations/rules explicitly, use a specific signal for obtaining class attention, and provide a visual schedule.
- Vary how you teach material. Instead of expecting children to learn according to your teaching style, know kids’ strengths and teach to those. Do you have a child that is active but doesn’t like to read? Teach a Bible verse using hopscotch. Present material so children can experience it using many different senses (i.e., sight, smell, touch, taste, hearing).
- Provide extra support when needed. Provide a trained “buddy” to children who would benefit from the extra support. This could be a peer if appropriate, or it could be a teen or adult trained to facilitate engagement, both with the lesson and social situations.
Inclusion is not just about the location, but about making all children feel welcome as full and equal members of the classroom, allowing them to access and engage in learning opportunities that match their strengths.
In this way, you are welcoming all children and providing an opportunity for them to know and love Jesus, and to build relationships with others. And that’s what it’s all about.
Dr. Tracy McElhattan serves as Director of Preschool Ministries at Blue Valley Baptist Church in Overland Park, KS. Tracy also writes and edits Bible Studies for Life curriculum for Kids. Previously, she has worked in public education in various roles for 13 years, including teaching and research. Tracy’s passions include teacher training, inclusive education, leadership development, good conversations, and enjoying life with her husband raising their two young boys.
Using Visual Schedules in Bible Study
Along the way we meet some really neat people. Tracy McElhattan is one of those. Please welcome Tracy as she guest blogs today on Kids Ministry 101.
“Help! My room is chaos and I don’t know what to do!”
This is a common concern in KidMin. One tool that I’ve used to help manage my own classroom during my years as an early childhood educator in public schools is called a visual schedule. I’m so excited that LifeWay’s Bible Studies for Life will be offering a way to easily create this tool to use in church KidMin classes starting in the Fall of 2016! However, you can go ahead and download these great visual schedules today and begin using them in your classroom: 3s–Pre-K, Kindergarten, Grades 1-6, and Special Buddies.
What is a Visual Schedule?
A visual schedule:
- Is a way to specify the order of planned activities,
- Indicates when activities are finished, and
- Identifies any changes from the regular schedule
A visual schedule used in the way described below functions like an illustrated “agenda.”
How is a Visual Schedule Used?
A visual schedule can be used in a variety of ways. At church, one way to implement a visual schedule is to:
- Decide on your classroom routine.
- Choose words, pictorial representations, or simple photographs of each activity included in your routine.
- Display the schedule.
- Teach children how to use it.
- Assess and adjust the visual schedule.
A visual schedule does nothing if hung up in the classroom and never talked about again.
Who Benefits from a Visual Schedule at Church?
While visual schedules are often used with children with autism or young children with language delays, visual schedules can benefit everyone! For example, use a visual schedule:
- With an entire preschool class to help children understand, anticipate, and follow the expected classroom routines.
- With a child with low language skills, by providing a menu of acceptable choices during free play. For example, show the child pictures of the block area and housekeeping area and ask the child to point to the area in which she would like to play.
- With a child that has difficulty with transitions, provide an individual schedule so that the child can see the day’s activities, pull the completed activity off the schedule, and anticipate the next event.
Effective use of a visual schedule can facilitate a more positive atmosphere so that teachers can concentrate on building relationships and instilling Truth.
Children thrive when they know what is expected of them and when they have consistent routines. Most of us use visual supports to help us through our day— watches, calendars, to-do lists, agendas, etc.—so why not provide the same support to children?
References: Meadan, H., Ostrosky, M.M., Triplett, B., Michna, A., & Fettig, A. (2011). Using visual supports with young children with autism spectrum disorder. Teaching Exceptional Children, 43(6), 28-35.
Dr. Tracy McElhattan serves as Director of Preschool Ministries at Blue Valley Baptist Church in Overland Park, KS. Tracy also writes and edits Bible Studies for Life curriculum for Kids. Previously, she has worked in public education in various roles for 13 years, including teaching and research. Tracy’s passions include teacher training, inclusive education, leadership development, good conversations, and enjoying life with her husband raising their two young boys.
Special Needs in KidMin
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When Jesus commissioned us to “go into all the world,” He knew that that would require us to bend, flex, and make efforts that go way outside of our comfort zone in order to reach that world. Prepare to be uncomfortable.
Whether intentional or not, many churches tend to focus on a narrow range of demographic and people-types, while within reach of their church’s ministry are families who have children who might require some added attention. It’s worth it to consider giving this extra attention. Actually, it’s not merely “worth it,” it’s implied in our commission.
Listen to one of our country’s leading experts on special needs ministry. We had a sit down with Denise in 2014 and, earlier this year, even had a chance to take a walk-through of her ministry halls in Texas. Her ministry is stunning.
The following moments make it worth listening to this brief podcast…
- How Denise’s story compelled her into this ministry
- How special needs ministry to kids is also a powerful ministry to those kids’ families
- Developing a team to lead special needs, including the use of teenagers
- How it’s possible to have a strong special needs ministry, whether you are a church of 10 or 10,000
LifeWay Kids offers some powerful tools for ministry to special needs children, including some FREE resources.
Denise Briley is the special needs ministry director at Houston’s First Baptist Church.
Christmas for the KidMin Leader
We’ve gathered up the top ten ranking Christmas-themed blog posts from years past! Click on the titles below to read the posts in their entirety. Happy reading!
- Christmas Party Idea – “Win it in a Minute” Games with Holiday Flair
- Christmas-Themed Bible Skill Games
- Christmas Coloring Pages
- Telling the Christmas Story
- 10 Buddy the Elf Quotes for Kids Ministry
- 5 Things You MUST Do with Your Kids This Christmas
- The Real Christmas Story: A Quiz for You and Your Kids
- 10 More Elf Quotes for Kids Ministry
- Christmas Teacher Appreciation: Personalized Ornaments
- Christmas Time Is Here…And So Is Jesus
5 Practical Steps to Help Special Needs Families Get Through Surgery
Ellen Stumbo offers ideas for supporting families who have a special needs child undergoing surgery. These tips can apply to any family going through similar situations. Help equip the families you shepherd to be the hands and feet of Christ during these times.
It’s hard when your child has surgery, but when your child has special needs, it can be even more challenging. For many kids, their disabilities increase these challenges exponentially.
What if your child is non-verbal and cannot tell you how they are managing the pain?
What if your child has an intellectual disability and they do not understand what is happening?
What if your child has sensory processing issues and the hospital environment becomes overwhelming?
Special needs parents already have a lot on their plates, so here are 5 practical tips to help special needs families get through a surgery:
1. Offer to watch the other children on the day of surgery, or the first few days following surgery
If trusted friends help with the other children, parents can focus solely on their sick child. You might even go an extra step and offer to drive the kids to dance class or soccer.
2. Skip the hospital visit
Unless the child with special needs is very familiar with you and you plan to come to the hospital to give the parents a break, it might be best not to visit. Always ask, “Would it be helpful if we came to visit, or is it better to wait?” Some families have a hard time saying no, but it is overwhelming to entertain the visitors while trying to keep their child comfortable.
3. Text or email
Not going to the hospital does not mean that you cannot support the family. Text, email, message. You can do this throughout the day of surgery and the days following letting the family know you are thinking about them and praying for them. This is an incredible encouragement.
4. Bring meals or gift cards
This helps the family give their full attention and energy to help their child recover without worrying about the little things, like feeding the rest of the family. Maybe your church can organize meals for a week or two.
5. Offer a special home visit
When one of my daughters was in the hospital, a group of women from my church came to our house to clean and do laundry. Not everyone is willing to take this help, but you can offer. Or maybe a group of friends can pitch in and hire a cleaning lady for a day.
Ellen Stumbo is the wife of a pastor and a mother to three little girls, two of which have special needs. In Ellen’s words, she’s passionate about helping the church embrace people with disabilities – not out of pity or out of service, but out of a genuine understanding, acceptance, and celebration of their life. Find more on parenting, special needs, adoption, and faith at her blog – ellenstumbo.com
Serving the Least of These: Special Needs Ministry
Serving the “least of these” requires each of us to “see disability” in our church and community. Laney Wootten, the mother of a special needs child, shares her heart regarding this important need. With years of experience in church leadership, loving on the needy, and parenting an autistic child, Laney brings much wisdom in teaching us, the church, how to best minister to special needs families. — Cristy Whitlock
I’ve heard differing statistics on the percentage of how many special needs families do not attend church. It’s not good. Those percentages range anywhere from 90-98%. While the percentage may be an estimate, I am sure of this: it takes an unbelievable amount of courage, determination and humility to bring your special needs child to church gathering. How do I know? Because I am a mother of a five-year-old with autism. His name is Jude.
My husband and I grew up in church and have a growing, intimate relationship with the Lord, so staying home on the weekends with our family never once crossed our minds; it never once crossed our minds until our son’s autism took center stage. That’s when I realized the odds that special needs families will darken the doors of a church are slim to none — even if they are growing and dedicated followers of Jesus.
The sad reality is that even if a family is courageous enough to present their disabled child to a children’s ministry, most churches will not know what to do with them and in some cases even turn them away. Is that acceptable or even biblical?
Jesus identified Himself with the “least of these” (Matthew 25:40). These precious children definitely fall into that category. I think I can be as bold to say that if we are not giving special needs children an honorable place at our table, we are rejecting Christ Himself. I would go even further and say that if you want to know the biblical health of a church, ask to see their special needs ministry.
Does it have to be crawling with happy and helpful volunteers? Should there be a sensory room filled with state-of-the-art occupational therapy equipment? No, but that would be nice! I look for a spirit of “welcome.” Ask yourself:
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Is the children’s ministry moving in a direction to accommodate special needs children?
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Are special needs kids on their radar?
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Would a disabled child feel like a celebrity when they come into the children’s area or would they be received with hesitation?
Families like mine will be gracious. A church has to start somewhere. Even my precious church body can’t provide consistent workers for my son during the Sunday School hour. My husband and I spend many Sundays teaching him ourselves in a separate classroom because he is just too physically aggressive to go into a class with his peers. Am I bitter about that? No. Because every single Wednesday, Sunday night and Sunday morning during worship, Jude has an adult (buddy) volunteering their time so he can be a part of our children’s ministry and we can receive a moment of respite.
Our childcare workers have been bitten, scratched, kicked, changed “big kid” diapers and never once complained about it. They have taken my Jude on countless buggy rides to calm meltdowns, risked the life of their digits prying Playdoh out of his mouth, and most importantly, they’ve shared the gospel with my non-responsive son week after week. How could I be bitter? Deep within the veins of my church pumps great passion for the “least of these” and it is blatantly evident in our children’s special needs ministry.
I pass on the challenge to you that John Piper passed on to me in his message on John 9 — see disability. Don’t turn your eyes away from it. Run to it and trust that God will provide everything you need to minister to these little Jesus’ in disguise. See them as gifts and not burdens. Touch them, accommodate them and welcome them. In doing so, you will touch, accommodate and welcome the King of Kings.
Laney Wootten is a stay-at-home wife and mother of three beautiful children, Jude — 5, Hazel — 2 and Titus — due May 17. Her passion is to love her family deeply and raise her children to walk with God and know the joy of serving Him. She and her husband frequently lead worship and write and record music. They are currently working on a musical project that will reflect their autism journey and how God sustains them. They pray it infuses hope and purpose into all the souls who feel the daily weight autism imposes.
6 Ways to Serve Families with Special Needs Children
As Kids Ministers, we are called to serve and care for the needs of the church body – even those with special needs. No matter what capacity you have in your children’s ministry, this is something to be sensitive to and act on.
Here are six ways to serve families with special needs children:
1. Have a willing heart.
Approach these needs with a prayerful spirit and a willing heart that desires to serve all families that walk in your door. Train your leaders and volunteers to do the same. Once that posture is taken, then families feel welcome and at ease to tell you what they need for their child to be well-cared for during the teaching and worship hours.
2. Make small modifications.
Many special needs children need small modifications in order to have a comfortable experience at church. Visual instructions and a structured schedule help most any child feel at-ease about what to expect next. This will help almost any child in your classes, not just ones with extra needs. Think through your schedules and make signs with pictures for your leaders to show what is happening next. Structure your teaching hour so that it is roughly the same each week. Mark spaces in your environments with colorful tape or dots to show where you want children to sit, stand or walk. These are small modifications, but can help children know what to do, limiting anxiety.
3. Provide an extra volunteer.
For children who may require extra attention, provide a “special buddy” to stay with a child to help with any extra needs that are beyond the capacity of your teachers and leaders.
4. Think through scenarios.
Some children are uncomfortable with leaving the classroom or with participating in a large group environment. This may be for various reasons including loud music or lots of movement and excitement. Have an alternate activity for these children to do during this time and quickly reunite them with the group when they feel comfortable.
5. Keep open communication with parents and caregivers.
If families know your heart is to provide an inclusive experience for their children, they will be more willing to share specifics about what their child needs. This starts with you. Communicate to your church body that you have a willingness to provide an environment that is inclusive of all children and that you’ll do your best to serve and accommodate those with special needs.
6. Love on these families.
Remember that the stress of bringing up children who have special needs is overwhelming on marriages and home-life. They, more than anyone, need time to worship and know that their children are being cared for and taught about the love of Jesus. Do whatever you can and prioritize this service in your ministry.