Leading Through Suffering and Pain

Several years ago, with two very young preschoolers in tow, our family made a really big move. This move took us away from our safety net of family and friends to a new community we had visited only twice before. Throughout the first year after our move, we suffered emotionally, financially, spiritually, and physically. We felt like we were caught in a storm that just would not let up.

Have you ever experienced times of trouble like this? We all have. We live in a world that is broken by sin, and as a result, suffering is a part of the human experience. In our lives, it is not a question of if we will suffer but when. Jesus told His followers in John 16:33, “You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.”

When our kids are suffering, when you are suffering, and when there is suffering in our world, how do you respond? How do you lead? In response to suffering, Elisabeth Elliot wrote, “There is, in fact, no redemptive work done anywhere without suffering¹.” So, how do we respond to suffering? In our suffering, we look to the Lord, rest in His Word, and find strength in biblical community—the Church. How do we do this when our hearts are hurting?

We can seek the Savior.

In our suffering, we can know that we have a Savior who, while He was on Earth, was a man of suffering who has felt the pain and weight of our grief. (Psalm 8:1-8; Hebrews 4:14-16; Isaiah 53:2-6) Whether we are hurting, our children, kids, or leaders in our ministries, we can remember that Jesus cares. He knows our hurts and what we are thinking and feeling, and He ultimately knows our greatest need, which is to have a relationship with Him and to know Him deeply. When we hurt, we can seek the Savior, who knows our hearts and everything we have done, and find rest in Him.

We can go to Scripture.

When Jesus was suffering and tempted in Matthew 4:4, He said, “It is written: Man must not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” God’s Word is an anchor to us when we are hurting. It gives us hope, comfort, and the words to express what we are going through. We can point our own hearts, our kids’ hearts, and our leaders’ hearts to the God of comfort when we are suffering, sad, and hurting. (See 1 Corinthians 1:3-11.) Psalm 34:18 tells us that “The LORD is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.” Let our suffering send us to Scripture and point us to the hope that we may live in a broken world, but we are deeply loved by the God of redemption.

We can strengthen our community.

We will all experience suffering, but one way to lead through suffering is to lean into the community around us and model suffering with humility. Community is a gift from God, and the people around us can help carry our burdens as they pray with us, encourage us, and remind us of God’s truth when we hurt. (See 1 Corinthians 12:24-26.) Through our suffering, may our community strengthen us, and may our suffering strengthen our community.

As we hurt, may we model to our kids, our team, our church, and our family how to suffer with the outlook that God is doing a redemptive work in our hearts and our lives.

¹ Elliot, Elisabeth. Suffering Is Never for Nothing, (Nashville: B&H Books, 2019), 98.

Rachel Riquelme is the Preschool Content Editor for Lifeway’s NextGen resource Hyfi. With an MA in Discipleship, she has a passion for building resilient disciples who have strong faith to last a lifetime. She has spent the last 15 years in Kids, Preschool, and Family Ministry and lives in Murray, KY. Rachel loves reading, biking, and spending time with her husband and two elementary-aged sons.