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Kids Ministry

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Family, Kids Ministry, Leadership

FORTNITE: Your Son’s Latest Obsession

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A special thanks to ParentLife writer David Thomas for permission to post this blog. Read more about his counseling ministry, meet Sissy Goff and Melissa Trevathan (the rest of the team), order their books, or join the blog for Technology Tuesday each week at www.raisingboysandgirls.com.

A day doesn’t go by where I don’t hear something about Fortnite. It’s the game the majority of boys (of all ages) seem to be talking about these days. It was something completely different a year ago, and chances are good it will be something completely different a year from now. But for today, it’s Fortnite. Though it’s rated “T” for Teen, many parents of younger boys are allowing boys to explore it.

Many parents have compromised because of its cartoonish nature or the lack of profanity or blood. There are sites and commentaries arguing the advantages of strategic thinking, teamwork, and creativity. Equally so, there are sites and commentaries arguing it’s still violent and how the online nature still exposes younger players to the offensive language of other players.

Wherever you land in your decision on Fortnite … or Minecraft … or Call of Duty … or whatever game takes the boy world by storm next, let me encourage you to make sure your son spends more time in reality than in virtual activity. Make sure he spends more time kicking a real soccer ball than playing FIFA 2018. Make sure he spends more time having real conversations that don’t involve wearing a headset and do involve reading nonverbal communication and making eye contact. Make sure he spends more time talking with real people than texting.

Make certain he has a context like scouting or playing sports, being a part of a robotics team or a climbing club, a book club or youth group, student government or volunteering … places where he experiences real teamwork, human interaction, strategic thinking, creativity and practicing empathy.

Absolutely let him have time to enjoy video games (with limitations) as a means of practicing regulation. I talked with a single mom recently that told her 14-year-old son she has three rules for gaming.

  1. You gain 5 extra minutes the following day for turning it off without arguing. You lose 15 minutes the next day for battling me when it’s time to shut it down.
  2. I can’t control what you hear when you have the headset on. But if I hear you repeat something profane or disrespectful, the headset is put up for a week.
  3. Every time you turn the system off, you owe me 20 minutes of physical activity to counter the effects of sitting still and being plugged in.

This mom is choosing to let his engagement with gaming serve as a vehicle for strengthening his ability to regulate himself.

 

Family, Family Ministry, Parent Helps, Parenting

Making Memories

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Kids Ministry 101 welcomes this article written by Wynter Pitts. Wynter lived with a passion to introduce young girls to Christian values in a way that they’re able to understand, so they can walk passionately and boldly in who God has created them to be. Wynter authored For Girls Like You Tween Devotionals and founded For Girls Like You Magazine. We are honored to continue her legacy! #wynterslegacy

I imagine the conversation will go something like this:

“Mom, remember that time you wanted us to do a craft together and you looked on Pinterest?”

Silence – immediately followed by an uproar of contagious giggles and uncontrollable laughter.

You see, I am not the craftiest of girls, but God blessed me with four sequin-wearing, glitter-paint-splattering, and sugar-loving darlings, so I try.

The reality is, I am actually the mom who …

  • Has an entry-level Pinterest board named, “Projects I think I Can Handle.”
  • Buys a kit to create your own gum, only to burn it in the microwave.
  • Takes three days and a dozen YouTube videos to figure out how to turn rubber bands into a beautiful work of art and a colorful accessory using a “Rainbow Loom.”
  • Tries to bake an edible cookie bowl … I can’t even think of the proper words to describe how horrifically this ended. It was pure pandemonium as a party of 10 girls tried to scoop ice-cream into a pile of burnt crumbs.
  • Paints nails. And cuticles.
  • Always has to double the amount of suggested flour in order to stop the homemade play dough from becoming a permanent placemat.
  • Forgets to turn on the oven light when making a “Shrinky Dink.” Causing us to entirely miss the point—the shrinking.
  • Successfully bakes reindeer cupcakes (from Pinterest!) but then arrives too late to the class party … missing the unveiling and enjoyment of my labor.

And this is just the beginning! I am serious—this list could go on and on! Regardless of my many failed attempts, my ultimate goal is to never stop adding bullet points.

Let’s just call it a work in progress.

The specific activities may not be my proudest parenting acts, but combined they are what define the most significant contribution I give to my girls.

My time.

So, I imagine my girls will have endless stories from their childhood … and I am prepared to be the punchline for most of them! However, it’s the first few words of their stories that are the most important to me, “Mom, remember …”

Memories are not defined by perfect scenarios. It’s the present—the daily and the quality time we spend with our children that will guide and provide the substance of future conversations.  

Enjoy the activities, but focus your best efforts on the memory.

 

CentriKid, Kids Ministry, Leadership

Celebrating CentriKid’s 2018 Ministry Results!

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After we return from a fun summer at camp, the CentriKid office team designates time in the office called “Evaluation Week,” where we celebrate what God did throughout the summer and discuss ways (from your feedback!) that we can make next summer even better.

Before we ever jumped in to details and discussion, we spent time as a team praying over the decisions that were made and seeds that were planted at camp. Because of how God worked through CentriKid’s “Blueprint: God’s Design,” hundreds of kids now have a relationship with Christ and many others are continuing to grow in their faith.

We are excited to officially announce our 2018 Ministry Results!

Wow! Please join us in taking time to say a quick prayer thanking God for how He has moved this summer and how He continues to work through CentriKid Camps to impact the kingdom.

Thanks for joining us for “Blueprint: God’s Design,” and we hope to see you next year for CentriKid 2019, “All Access!” You can check out all of our dates, locations, and how to register HERE or by calling 1-877-CAMP-123. If you have any questions, please email centrikid@lifeway.com.

Kids Ministry, Leadership, Reaching

The ABCs of Salvation is not the Gospel

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Kids Ministry 101 welcomes guest blogger Aaron Wilson. This article was originally published in Facts & Trends.

School may be out for the summer, but many kids will still be learning their ABCs over the break.

The ABCs of salvation, that is.

This popular children’s ministry acronym stands for admit, believe, and confess. It’s a simple way churches teach parents and volunteers to share the gospel with kids—especially during the week of Vacation Bible School.

A quick Google search of the ABCs of salvation reveals the phrase has become established church jargon. Numerous Christian websites, YouTube videos, and Pinterest boards strive to teach kids the gospel through this simple structure.

But as ministry leaders and parents prepare to use this evangelistic framework, they should be aware of the propensity to confuse the ABCs of salvation with the gospel itself.

AN IMPORTANT DISTINCTION

In its simplest form, the ABCs of salvation is not the gospel; rather, the acts of admitting, believing, and confessing (and you might tack on, repenting) are all biblical responses to the gospel.

This distinction is important. As essential as it is for kids to learn how to glorify God in responding to the gospel, they cannot do so unless they first rightly hear the message that prompts a response.

For this reason, LifeWay includes the following in its VBS gospel presentation tools to supplement the ABCs of salvation:

  • God rules—The Bible tells us God created everything, including you and me, and He is in charge of everything. (Genesis 1:1; Revelation 4:11; Colossians 1:16-17)
  • We sinned—We all choose to disobey God. The Bible calls this sin. Sin separates us from God and deserves God’s punishment of death. (Romans 3:23; 6:23)
  • God provided—God sent Jesus, the perfect solution to our sin problem, to rescue us from the punishment we deserve. It’s something we, as sinners, could never earn on our own. Jesus alone saves us. (John 3:16; Ephesians 2:8-9)
  • Jesus gives—Jesus lived a perfect life, died on the cross for our sins, and rose again. Because Jesus gave up His life for us, we can be welcomed into God’s family for eternity. This is the best gift ever! (Romans 5:8; 2 Corinthians 5:21; 1 Peter 3:18)
  • We respond—We can respond to Jesus. The ABCs of Becoming a Christian is a simple tool that helps us remember how to respond when prompted by the Holy Spirit to receive the gift Jesus offers.

NOT RUSHING THE GOSPEL

When children’s ministry leaders are presenting the gospel, it can be tempting to rush to the last point and seek what may be a premature response from kids by inviting them to admit, believe, and confess before kids have an adequate understanding of what the gospel really is.

This can be especially true during VBS when leaders are understandably eager to share how many decisions were made that week for Christ.

But it serves children best when adults slow down the pace of gospel presentations to ensure that kids clearly understand the full message of God’s redemption—which includes the story of creation, the Fall, and God’s restoration through Jesus Christ.

Elaborating on the full gospel helps protect children from growing up to trust in an experience in which they prayed a prayer, walked an aisle, or signed a card. It shifts their spiritual security from a one-time personal event to the actual substance of the gospel, which is centered on Christ’s sacrificial death and resurrection.

So how can churches help prepare leaders and parents to share the full gospel with kids during VBS? Here are four suggestions:

PROVIDE TRAINING

It’s easy to fill VBS training sessions with information about crafts, snacks, and bathroom policies. While all of these things are important, churches should also make sure to reserve time to train volunteers on how to share the gospel with kids.

Crafts made at VBS won’t likely make it through the week. However, a proper presentation of the gospel can have an eternal impact on a child’s life. You can help make sure your training majors on what’s most important with resources like “Leading a Child to Christ” and the booklet “The Gospel: God’s Plan for Me.”

TELL A STORY, NOT A FORMULA

At its core, the gospel is a story about good news. Children are captivated by stories, but for the sake of time, it can be tempting to shorten gospel presentations into a formula in which A+B+C=salvation.

While it’s true salvation is by grace through faith, that formula won’t lead to conversions if children don’t understand why grace is needed in the first place and how it is provided through the cross. As you train your VBS volunteers, encourage them to present the gospel as a story rather than as an evangelistic equation.

STRIKE THIS PHRASE

Well-meaning Christians sometimes try to seal the deal of a gospel presentation with the following phrase: “Now, all you have to do to become a Christian is…”

The problem is, Jesus never talked like this. Salvation is a free gift of grace that is not given on the merit of works. However, Christ often challenged people who brought a casual attitude to discipleship (Matthew 8:18-22).

Jesus encouraged people to count the cost before they decided to follow Him said anyone wanting to come after Him must be willing to die daily to his or her sinful life (Luke 14:25-33; Luke 9:23). He also told the parable of a man who was willing to give up everything he had for the sake of gaining a treasure that represents the kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 13:44).

Have your volunteers teach free grace as they go through the ABCs of salvation, but encourage them to guard against using phrases that might understate the significance of what it means to follow Christ.

ESTABLISH AN ONGOING GOSPEL CULTURE

Some parents sweat over the idea of having “the gospel talk” with their kid.

These parents—who might be serving as VBS volunteers at your church—tend to view the act of sharing the gospel as a one-time event. With only one chance to get it right, it’s no wonder they’re nervous!

You can alleviate this pressure by helping parents and leaders grow comfortable sharing the gospel every week. This happens by helping kids make connections between individual Bible stories and Scripture’s overarching redemptive narrative.

For more practical suggestions on how to establish this kind of culture in your children’s ministry, check out the eight-week activity book What is a Christian, releasing this July, and the book Gospel-Centered Kids Ministry by Brian Dembowczyk

THE GOAL OF VBS: PREACHING THE GOSPEL

Even if they don’t go to church, most Americans recall attending VBS and report positive memories of the event. Your church can help attendees remember that VBS wasn’t a just fun summer distraction, but that it was also a setting in which they clearly heard the gospel proclaimed.

Take time to train your volunteers on how to point kids to Christ. But instead of starting with the ABCs of salvation—the response to the gospel—you might consider ending with it.

Aaron Wilson is husband to Jennifer, father to Abel and Belle (7-year-old twins), and serves as an associate editor in LifeWay Corporate Communications. He enjoys spending time with his family and writing about God’s glory. Follow him on Twitter at @AaronBWilson26 and at FactsAndTrends.net.

Family, Kids Ministry, Parenting

A Father’s Bucket List: 15 Things Every Believing Dad Must Do

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Welcome Guest Blogger, Aaron Wilson. Aaron is husband to Jennifer, father to 4-year-old twins, and serves as an associate editor in LifeWay Corporate Communications. He enjoys spending time with his family and writing about God’s glory. You’ll find other great parenting tips and encouragement in LifeWay’s  ParentLife Magazine.

A Father’s Bucket List!

  1. CHEER FOR HIS CHILDREN — Fathers breed godly confidence in their kids by being their biggest supporters, not just on the playing field, but wherever God calls young hearts to bring Him glory.
  2. ESTABLISH A REPERTOIRE of at least five character voices for story-time.
  3. DISCIPLINE IN LOVE — Faithful dads aren’t lazy when it comes to engaging sin in their children’s lives. Dads are prepared to stand up to the real enemy (even when it temporarily makes them out to be the “bad guy” in their children’s eyes).
  4. BE WILLING to get his hands dirty (drool, runny noses, diapers … yeah, you get the idea).
  5. BECOME A SPIRITUAL INSTRUCTOR — A father doesn’t delegate the principal role of teacher to Sunday School workers or YouTube channels. He takes the lead in forging a spiritual path of knowledge and wisdom for his children.
  6. KNOW HIS PLACE — Men who bow low before Jesus are the ones who stand tall as leaders of their families. They kneel in humility when the world says to bask in pride and rise up for their families when the world says to shrug with indifference.
  7. MAINTAIN A STRAIGHT FACE when he discovers his bag lunch for the office meeting contains a juice box and cartoon character fruit snacks.
  8. MODEL GOD THE FATHER — Dads have the unique privilege and responsibility of reflecting the first person of the Trinity to their kids. Often, a person’s most ingrained perception of God will come from memories of his or her own father.
  9. BE ABLE to turn an old cardboard box into a rocket ship or princess castle.
  10. CHARACTERIZE LOVE FOR HIS KIDS — Children in today’s culture are hungry to know what real love looks like. By demonstrating how to put the good of others first, fathers emulate the servant nature of Jesus (and the Biblical meaning of love) to their kids.
  11. POST WITH PARENTAL INTENT — Fathers leave a legacy of words for their children when they choose to post on social media. Dads can steward social networking for the good of their kids, who will grow up needing godly examples of how to navigate the digital realm.
  12. ASSEMBLE a bike or play kitchen in the living room at 1:00 am on Christmas morning.
  13. LOOK BEYOND THE MESS — Dads who have a heavenly perspective look past broken furniture and scratched walls to see the eternal investment found in parenting.
  14. CHERISH THE CHURCH — One of the greatest blessings a dad can give his children is to demonstrate a love for Christ’s bride, the church. Dads who lead their families to be involved in a local church are at an advantage when it comes to shepherding the home.
  15. RELY ON JESUS (NOT A CHECKLIST) FOR STRENGTH — Every dad who reads this list knows he doesn’t measure up (at least, not to the serious entries). That’s actually the point! Christian fathers succeed in life, not because they knock it out of the park as parents, but because they admit they’re sinners who need forgiveness and the enabling grace of Jesus. Biblical manhood doesn’t come from a performance checklist found in a Christian magazine; it comes from confidence in the finished work of Christ.

While there are many more things a dad might do, in the words of Jesus, only “one thing is necessary” (Luke 10:42). Take time this month to celebrate the fathers in your life who stand tall for their families by necessarily sitting at the feet of their Savior!

Family, Kids Ministry, Parenting

Great Expectations: Four Biblical Expectations You Should Have for Your Kids

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Welcome guest blogger Kelly Mikhailiuk.

Life is full of expectations. When a woman is pregnant, we say she is “expecting.” We watch weather forecasts so we can learn what to expect and prepare accordingly. We struggle under the weight of others’ expectations of us or suffer disappointment when our expectations aren’t met. Whether we admit it or not, we expect certain things of our children. Our expectations may be high or low, realistic or unreasonable—but we all have them, and they affect the way we live.

What do you expect from your kids? What do they expect of themselves? Where do those expectations come from? How do they affect the choices you make? The Bible teaches us four things to expect of our kids (and ourselves)!

#1: THEY WILL SIN.

Our babies may be beautiful, naive, and unsullied by the evils of this world, but their hearts are bent toward sin and self. Like every human being, the default mode of a child’s heart is to put himself—not God—at the center of his universe and put his own desires first. Our children’s sin should grieve us, but it shouldn’t shock us. Every heart turns away from God like a sheep gone astray—there are no exceptions, “not even one” (Isa. 53:6; Rom. 3:10).

Help your kids recognize sin in their own hearts. Grieve with your kids over the effects of sin in the world. Guide your children to respond to their own sin with repentance. Model what it looks like to humbly confess your sin, believing that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us” (1 John 1:9).

#2: THEY WILL BE LOVED AND CARED FOR.

We love our kids. They depend on us, and we feel the weight of our role in their lives. It’s a glorious weight, but it can be a fearful one. If we’re honest, our love and care often falls short. In those moments, we need to be reminded that God loves our children more than we ever could, and His love never fails.

These precious kids are His, but He has given them to us for a time and He uses us to show them His great love. But when we fail, He is faithful. God is the only perfect Parent, and He is completely trustworthy. He loves our kids—and us—with a love that “surpasses knowledge” (Eph 3:19). If He loves us enough to offer up His own Son, will He not also “supply all [our] needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus”? (Rom. 8:32; Phil. 4:19).

#3: THEY WILL SUFFER.

We instinctively want to protect our children. If we could, we would shield them from all fear, pain, sadness, hardship, and disappointment. But we can’t. We can only trust God’s wisdom and love for our children (and ourselves). Jesus told His followers to expect “suffering in this world,” but to “be courageous” because He has “conquered the world” (John 16:33). Our comfort is in Christ (2 Cor. 1:5), and that goes for our children too. When our children suffer and when we suffer, we also experience the brokenness of this world, the sting of sin and death that pierced our hearts and tore through the entire creation.

But Christ took this sting of sin and death in his body (1 Cor. 15:54-57). He bore our sorrows, spoken and unspoken (Isa. 53:4-5). He wept with His friends and paid with His life to redeem His children and His creation from death (John 11:33-36; Rom. 8:18-21). He triumphed over evil, and we can find comfort in His victory (2 Thess. 1:5-7). One day God will wipe every tear from the eyes of His dear children, and all sin, suffering, and sorrow will be no more (Rev. 21:3-5).

#4: THEY WILL GROW AND MATURE.

We expect children to grow physically, and we want to make sure they get what they need to mature. Just like physical growth, spiritual growth doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process that starts at the new birth and continues throughout life. We all grow in various ways and on different timelines, but God doesn’t let any of us stay the same for long. We can’t make our kids grow, but we can guide them to the nutrients they need (Scripture, prayer, fellowship with believers). We also can challenge them to exercise their faith through obedient service and worship, remembering that “neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth” (1 Cor. 3:7).

Even if a child is not a believer, God is still at work, and we should be faithful in pointing every child to God’s love and righteousness, repentance from sin, and faith in Christ. It is God who produces saving faith and its fruits in our lives. So, whether our children are followers of Christ or not, we can be encouraged that God faithfully cares for us and for those He has entrusted to our love and our gospel witness.

Adopting gospel-based expectations for our children and ourselves is both humbling and liberating. When we bring the gospel into our everyday language, teaching, and discipline, we create a safe space where—together with our children—we can take a hard look at sin, then lift our eyes in great expectation to the abundant grace of God in Christ.

Kelly Mikhailiuk is a stay-at-home mom and editorial freelancer. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, Taras, and their four young children.

A version of this article first appeared in the June 2016 issue of ParentLife. To order, visit HERE.

Kids Ministry, Leadership
Kids Ministry, Leadership
Family, Kids Ministry, Leadership, Parenting

Your Family’s Greatest Mission

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Guest blogger Kristen Welch appears courtesy of ParentLife magazine (lifeway.com/parentlife).

We always want to encourage our families to live on mission. Check out this encouraging message to families courtesy of ParentLife magazine about how our families can live missionally.

My kids love a good mystery. Give them a few clues and they are off to solve it.

Everybody loves a good mission. God created us with a deep desire to fulfill our life’s purpose. And that purpose isn’t some intangible, elusive destination that God dangles in front of us.

It’s simple really. God has called all of us — families included — to welcome others into His family. Living on mission doesn’t start with doing something for God. It begins with telling others or showing them what He has done for us.

The question isn’t “Is my family called to do something for God?” That question has already been answered.

Ann Dunagan said, “God’s mission for the family is expanding God’s family.” We are called to go … to live our life for His glory. I believe just as every person has a unique purpose in the world, so does every family.

Do you wonder what His will is for your family? It’s to go fulfill His mission: the Great Commission. We wonder where, what, when … and often get bogged down in the unknown details. But the answer is right in front of us.

Where are you going today? Maybe you’re headed to the grocery store or the school office. Perhaps you’re dropping off something at a neighbor’s house. Wherever you go, fulfill your mission and shine Jesus. Your small step of obedience might lead you to great destinations or it might just lead you to the dog food aisle.

Either way, going is half the victory because that is your family’s greatest mission when you commit your steps to God. He will lead you and use your obedience for His glory. God isn’t waiting for you to be perfect or to get your act together so you can change the world; He specializes in using the less-than-perfect places in your lives for His glory.

You just have to take the first step. It’s your mission if you choose to accept it.

Kristen Welch, her husband, and their three children founded a non-profit maternity home, The Mercy House, to help impoverished teen girls in Kenya.

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