Kids Ministry

Dedicated to helping Kids Ministry leaders in their mission of making disciples

Discipleship, Encouragement, Family, Parent Helps, Parenting

Top 8 Things Kids Need from Caregivers

By

By Sarah Humphrey

I’m not sure about you, but I wasn’t 100% prepared for parenting when I became a parent. In fact, I was mostly clueless. Like many parents, learning how to raise kids came with a new need to read up on the topic, have a lot of prayer, trial, and error in my process, and also a lot of truth and grace about my present reality.  What I didn’t know, I started to study.  What didn’t work, I started to change.  And what I did well, I continued.  Just like learning anything in life, God has been gracious with me as I’m still learning to steward the lives of little ones, whether my own children or other children I encounter in life or ministry.

Over the course of the last eleven years, I’ve compiled a short list for myself on the top 8 things I’ve noticed children need from a healthy caregiver.  This has also helped me tremendously as a person, because all of us are still living with our childhood in tow, and watching children grow brings out the inner-child in us as well. 

Most people are juggling a lot of things at this time, whether school work and mask mandates, transitioning job responsibilities, or simply the demands of house and home. In a time when life can feel overwhelming, a short list can help us focus and come to a place of peace in our caregiving.

Here are the top 8 ways I’ve learned (and am still learning) to steward the grace of parenting:

  1. Be present.  Being aware, hands-free, and focused shows kids that they are important and that they matter.  Knowing this early on provides connection, comfort, and safety.
  2. Be prepared. Showing my kids that I have thought of them ahead of time makes them feel loved, seen, cared about, and nurtured.  When I’ve taken care of myself, I can much more easily take care of them. Self-care is a great way to be able to remind yourself that you have to fill your cup before pouring it out.
  3. Be intentional.  Looking for the ways to support or participate with your kids is one of the easiest ways to create healthy connections. Whether it’s getting up a few minutes early to make them breakfast, washing the clothes they love to wear, or clearing my calendar for events that matter to them, the simple act of intentionality makes everyone feel seen and valued.
  4. Be truthful. Kids love the truth. They are most often literal thinkers, and they need caregivers who will spend the time teaching them all the “Why’s” of life. Knowing the truth helps them feel safe, confident, and smart.
  5. Be encouraging.  As much as we are truthful, we also need to be encouraging. Kids thrive on enthusiasm and support.  Knowing that they are being guided, supported, and loved helps them thrive within themselves and with others.
  6. Be a good listener. Listening to kids is one of the smartest things we can do.  Kids are usually honest.  By hearing their requests, feelings, and thoughts, we show them that we care.
  7. Be patient and graceful.  Kids are learning so many new things every day.  It can feel overwhelming at times! Imagine being in a new city and not knowing how to get from one place to the next.  Children can often feel that way in a big world. Take the time to slow down and be gentle.
  8. Be playful and adventurous. Being around children brings out our sense of fun and imagination.  Take the time to be spontaneous, enjoy laughter, and have an out-of-the-box day or activity. As adults, it’s so important that we remember that the world is in God’s hands, and we can rest in that!

More than anything, enjoy the little ones in front of you. Caregiving takes a lot of energy, focus, and time, but there are few things more fulfilling than nurturing the life right in your midst!

Sarah is a wife and homeschool mom to three kids while also working as an artist, author, and voice actor.  Her writing and doodling can be found in her devotional, “40 Days to a Joyful Motherhood” and her voice in several commercials, children’s books, and audiobooks. She loves encouraging women and kids to embrace self-care, utilize their gifts, and become leaders in the community around them. 

Encouragement, Encouraging, Kids Ministry, Ministry

What We Need Now More Than Anything

By

By Aaron Armstrong

Back in the far-off days of December 2020, there was a greater sense of anticipation about the coming year than I’ve seen in a long time. And it’s no surprise why: For many of us, 2020 was a gigantic dumpster fire. The pandemic and its fall out disrupted our regular patterns of life at every level. Concerns over the possibility of a loss of employment or becoming sick abound. We may not know from week-to-week if our churches will meet in person, in doors or outside, online or not at all. We keep expecting a return to normal, or at least some sense of a new normal. But neither has emerged yet. (Maybe next week?)

We are tired. Frustrated. And, frankly, more than a little discouraged.

And by “we,” I most definitely include me.

Numbing Our Discouragement

It’s really tempting to look for something to escape into when discouragement and frustration set in; something to bring some kind of relief, or to help temporarily forget everything going on in the world. Whether it’s a TV show to binge, a new hobby, or even spending more time going down different rabbit trails on social media, we all do it. (No judgment—I do it too.) I’m definitely not anti-entertainment. I often read crime novels and comic books to unwind. I listen to podcasts that make me laugh. And I even have a couple of games on my phone. Entertainment is good and fine, so don’t read what I’m not writing here.

Entertainment is good and fine. But we need something greater when dealing with ongoing frustration, anxiety, disappointment, or discouragement, like so many of us are facing right now. Something stronger. We need to be encouraged in and through the gospel.

What it Means to Encourage in the Gospel

That might sound like a strange bit of “Christianese,” the internal language that so many Christians use when talking about matters of faith, but it is anything but. It’s meant to ground our efforts to encourage one another, to provide encouragement a stronger foundation than general kindness. To offer true hope, rather than wishful thinking or simple platitudes.

And what is that hope? Ultimately, that hope is the gospel itself. The fact that Jesus lived, died, and lives again, that because Jesus is alive and the king of the universe, we have the best reason to maintain hope than anyone. And as we face discouragement in any area of life, but especially in ministry, it’s essential that we bring one another back to the gospel, taking what we are facing and experiencing, and look at it through its lens.

How Not to Encourage One Another

Okay, so what does that look like? Well, maybe it’s better to start with what it doesn’t look like. Encouraging one another in the gospel doesn’t look like:

  • Offering platitudes, however well meaning. While it is good to know that “God’s got this,” it can come across as dismissive. (Ditto, “thoughts and prayers.”)
  • Unintentional Bible-shaming. Reminding one another that our momentary sufferings are incomparable to the riches of Christ. While true (I mean, it is in the Bible for a reason), there is a time when even the most profound truth can be profoundly unhelpful.
  • Undesired problem solving. This is especially complicated: a desire to help and offer advice is a good thing. But sometimes our desire to help isn’t what’s needed in the moment.

That’s the negative side, but to be clear, none of it is malicious. It’s hard to imagine anyone offering a “God’s got this” or a Bible verse with the intent of causing further harm. It’s all based in a good desire, just poor execution.

How to Encourage One Another

Now, what about the positive? A couple of important caveats: First, nothing you’re going to see on this list is going to be earth shattering. There’s a reason for that: this kind of encouragement is often much simpler to do than we might think. Our bigger issue is that we overthink how to encourage one another! Second, you might even find some of the advice here to be contradictory, but there’s a reason for that too—just context and circumstances determine if we are to answer or not answer foolish talk and thinking (Prov. 26:4–5), context and circumstances determine our approach to encouraging one another. With caveats in place, here are five ways we can encourage one another:

  • Check in. You might be surprised at how much just receiving a text or even an email goes to a discouraged person (even if they don’t realize it).
  • Weeping with those who weep. Sometimes that can be enough. Whether via phone call, a zoom meeting, or in-person, when another believer is struggling with discouragement, something the best thing we can do is listen. Don’t try to fix a problem, just be present, as one who weeps with those who weep (Rom. 12:15), as one being willing to bear the burdens of another (Gal. 6:2).
  • Pray for the discouraged (and tell them how). As much as possible, the best thing you can do is to be specific in sharing how you’re praying. If it is someone you know well, you likely know what they may be dealing with. But even if you don’t know specifically what someone needs, you can bet the Holy Spirit will—and often He leads us to share the very thing that the discouraged needs to hear.
  • Challenge false thinking. Sometimes we are discouraged because we’re not thinking correctly. As we seek to listen carefully and sensitively, we want to look for ways to lovingly challenge wrong thinking. Sometimes this means saying something that a discouraged friend, coworker, fellow church member, or a pastor may not want to hear, but we do so because “the wounds of a friend are trustworthy” (Prov. 27:6).

A Personal Experience of Encouragement

A few weeks ago, I received a message from a coworker in another area of our organization, letting me know they were praying for me in my work with The Gospel Project, and that God would help me to persevere as we seek to come alongside churches here at Lifeway. I’ve been generally feeling pretty okay over the last few months, but I’ll tell you, I had no idea how much I needed to read that until I did. It was life-giving for me.

Think about it: who in your life needs encouragement right now? Maybe it’s your pastor. It could be your spouse, child, or another family member. Maybe it’s a coworker. Whomever comes to mind, take a moment and reach out. Be present and available, encouraging them in the gospel as you come alongside to help carry their burden.

Aaron Armstrong is the Brand Manager of The Gospel Project, and the author of several books including Epic: The Story that Changed the World, Awaiting a Savior, and the screenwriter of the documentary Luther: the Life and Legacy of the German Reformer. Follow him on Twitter.

Encouragement, Encouraging, Kids Ministry

Encouragement—When Things are Tough in Kids Ministry

By

By Shelly Harris

Confession Time: I have wanted to quit serving in Kids Ministry … on more than one occasion. I clearly remember sitting in my car one Sunday after church saying to myself and the Lord, “I want to quit. I really, really, really want to walk away, but I made a commitment.” I’m also pretty sure I hit the steering wheel a couple of times in frustration.

Chances are at some point in ministry, you will feel the same way. The last year has been incredibly difficult for everyone, church leaders included. I have watched many children’s leaders pour themselves into reaching families while facing smaller budgets, fewer volunteers, intense health and safety regulations, and unrealistic expectations from just about everyone. 

So when that moment of discouragement or frustration comes, here are a few tips to remember.

Keep Your Cool. Don’t make a major life decision in the heat of the moment. Control your tongue. Emotions are powerful. They can be wonderful. And they can lead us astray. Examine what you are feeling and evaluate. Is the emotion temporary and based on a single, isolated event? Was it just a bad day? Is this emotion constant and based on repetitive events? Is God using this emotion to show you a change that needs to be made within you or within your ministry? Stuffing your emotions away will only increase your frustration. Feel. Process. Release.

Take a Time Out. It is hard to schedule time away while serving in kids ministry. But healthy leaders do exactly that. You need a day off once in a while. Spend some time with your family or a friend who makes you laugh. Take a break. Breathe. Relax.

Refuel. Open God’s Word and read. Pray. Listen to the Lord. Allow Him to refuel and refresh your heart and mind. Eat a meal. Get a full night’s sleep. Refuel yourself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. 

Get Back in the Game. I have found that often my most frustrating experiences in ministry are usually followed by an encouraging experience. The Lord sends a hug through a 5 year old. A typically grumpy parent will say “thank you.” All of the tech equipment will work properly for the day. A kid will trust me enough to ask a question they have about God. Those little moments of grace are enough to remind me that the mission is still to make disciples and that calling hasn’t changed. So remember Matthew 28:19-20, and press on toward the prize.

Discipleship, Encouragement, Kids Ministry

Discipleship is Not a Factory. It’s a Field.

By

Samuel Slater was born into an English farming family. He got a basic education, but at age ten began working at a cotton mill. He was later apprenticed to the owner of the mill and gained his greater education in how the machinery and the system worked.

In his 20’s, he learned that Americans were interested in developing similar machines. But there were some “hard feelings” about the whole revolution, and so Slater memorized as much as he could and left to cross the ocean to New York with a secret plan in mind. He built a factory from memory in order to produce spindles of yarn. Slater, today, is known as the “Father of the American Industrial Revolution” because things obviously took off from there.

Factories, and industrialization, spread in rapid fashion. Before then, the whole idea of “going to work” was not even in scope because in an agricultural society there was no separation between home and work. Everything changed. Everything was influenced from the food we consume to the hours we eat and even our overall perspective on life. The lenses through which we view the world changed.

The lens through which we view discipleship has changed.

We tend to think of spiritual growth through the industrialization lens. There are systems, processes, and plans. There are steps, progressions, and logical trajectories. None of these things are bad. Or wrong. Or unnecessary. And yet the perspective in which we might approach discipleship might be all wrong. That’s because disciples are grown; they aren’t manufactured:

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. Every branch in me that does not produce fruit he removes, and he prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me. If anyone does not remain in me, he is thrown aside like a branch and he withers. They gather them, throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you want and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this: that you produce much fruit and prove to be my disciples” (John 15:1-8).

This, of course, is one of the best known descriptions of life in Christ in the whole Bible. Jesus, in describing what it means to live and grow in Him, used an agricultural metaphor. You could argue, of course, that Jesus used this metaphor because He was originally speaking in an agrarian society. That in using this, He simply picked a familiar image that His hearers would identify with. I believe that’s true.

But I also believe it’s true that this metaphor provides a needed perspective shift for us. When we make disciples, we aren’t putting together cars or assembling furniture. Of course, there is a process, but it’s a process that involves human beings. Human beings doing the discipling, and human beings being discipled. For that reason, we must be careful that we don’t put too much faith in a process and too little faith in the God who sits over the process. That’s industrialization – that if we simply have the right raw ingredients, then follow the right steps, then out comes a mature follower of Jesus. Like an assembly line.

There are twists and turns. There are emotions and feelings. There are circumstances of great joy and terrible despair. And all these things come together, under the influence of the Holy Spirit, to move us toward Christlikeness.

Be careful then, friends. Be organized; be logical; be intentional – but do not be overly rigid. For that rigidity can indicate that we have replaced faith with procedure; that we have supplanted the work of the Holy Spirit with the ingenuity of man; that we are trusting in our own ideas rather than in God’s formative work.

Instead, walk with the kids in your ministry. Talk with them. Listen to them. And help them take just one more step at a time. This is how disciples are grown, not manufactured.

Michael Kelley lives in Nashville, Tenn., with his wife, Jana, and three children: Joshua, Andi, and Christian. He serves as the Sr. Vice President of Church Ministries for Lifeway Christian Resources. He is the author of Growing Down: Unlearning the Patterns of Adulthood that Keep Us from Jesus, Wednesdays Were Pretty Normal: A Boy, Cancer, and God; Transformational Discipleship; and Boring: Finding an Extraordinary God in an Ordinary Life.

This post originally appeared on michaelkelley.co.

Encouragement, Kids Ministry, Leadership, Ministry

5 Leadership Lessons from Gideon

By

The story of Gideon in Judges 6 and 7 is a familiar one to kids ministry leaders, and it’s one that we might do well to revisit during this challenging season of ministry. Gideon was something of an unlikely war hero. When we meet him in Judges 6, he is literally hiding from the Midianites, threshing wheat on the floor of a winepress so he won’t be seen and raided. That’s where the Angel of the Lord came to him with an unexpected greeting in Judges 6:12: “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.” Gideon himself seems surprised by this assessment of who he is, as we see in verse 15: “Pardon me,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” After some famous convincing involving two days of dew and a fleece, Gideon trusts God, makes a battle plan, gathers 32,000 troops, and prepares to attack. At least that was Gideon’s “Plan A.” 

Right about then, God made another unexpected statement, recorded for us in Judges 7:2: “You have too many troops for me to hand the Midianites over to them, or else Israel might elevate themselves over me and say, ‘I saved myself.’” So God proceeded to whittle down the troops. Twice. First from 32,000 to 10,000, and then to just 300. And then the battle plans changed. This battle would not be won with soldiers, swords, and shields. Nope. Each of the 300 men would instead go to the battle with a trumpet, a torch, and a terracotta pot. We’ll call this “Plan B.” 

You may know the story. Gideon’s 300 men surround the Midianite camp, and on his signal, they break the pots, revealing their torches, then they blow their trumpets and shout, “For the Lord, and for Gideon!” And the Midianites are so frightened and confused, they fight against themselves, and God uses Gideon and 300 men to defeat them. 

What does this have to do with your ministry in 2021? Like Gideon, most of us have had our Plan A taken away, and we don’t know what to do. We feel discouraged and distracted and defeated. Some of us are literally hiding! Our churches aren’t meeting. Our volunteers are MIA. We feel like our soldiers, swords, shields, and strategies are gone. Some of us are doubting whether God has chosen the right person for our job. If this is how you feel, these five truths from Gideon’s life are for you. Listen closely, and apply them to your situation.

Truth 1: The mission hasn’t changed.

2020 (and now 2021) have been difficult for everyone in ministry. No, we can’t do it the way we have always done it, but we must continue to minister to kids and families in whatever ways we can. Let’s not allow our ministries to be deterred or deferred. There’s urgency around the gospel. Ephesians 5:16 reminds us to make the most of the time we have. 2 Timothy 4:2 challenges us to present the Word “in season and out of season.” Not having Plan A is not a reason to concede the mission. When God took away Gideon’s soldiers, the goal was never to not have a battle, and it was never to not win the battle. The mission didn’t change, only the method. And God did what He did for good reason.

Truth 2: God sometimes does big things in absurd ways.

Time and time again in Scripture, we witness God doing miraculous things in unlikely ways. God rescued humanity from elimination by having a 500-year-old man build a boat in the desert. He saved baby Moses by having his mother float him down the river in a basket, then had the daughter of the very king who decreed that all Israelite babies be killed, adopt him and raise him in the palace. He waited until Abram was 100 before he gave the promised son. He used a shepherd boy with a rock to kill a famous military champion (who also happened to be a giant). He had Elijah pour water over the altar, enough to fill a trench around it, before burning up the offering with fire from heaven to humiliate the prophets of Baal. Jesus told the wedding caterers to fill the jugs with water. He told Peter to get a coin from a fish. He healed a blind man with spit-mud. He defeated death by dying. When He left the tomb, He folded the cloth. Don’t waste time worrying that God has taken away your meeting times or your volunteers. Don’t cry over soldiers and swords. Look for torches and trumpets. Watch for the Lord to do something amazing that only He can do, so the glory can only be given to Him.  

Truth 3: It’s not your battle.

When looking through the account of Gideon in Judges 6–7, it’s interesting to notice how many times “Gideon’s” story mentions God’s actions. God approached Gideon to lead the charge (6:12), sent Gideon (6:14), promised to be with Gideon (6:16), gave signs of assurance to Gideon (6:36–40), filtered out the fearful soldiers (7:3), tested the troops at the river for Gideon (7:4), promised to deliver Israel with 300 men (7:7), told Gideon when to attack (7:9), assured Gideon again (7:10), handed the Midianites over to 300 men (7:15), and caused the Midianite army to turn on each other (7:22). Do you see it? We may think of this as Gideon’s battle, but it wasn’t. It was God’s. It was always God’s. The battle belongs to the Lord. So does your ministry. Stop trying to carry the burden of failed Plan A and the stress of an untested Plan B. Your church is His. Your kids are His. Your job is His. It’s not about you. It’s all about Him!

Truth 4: God WILL accomplish His plan.

God is absolutely, 100%, perfectly in control of every circumstance and situation you will ever face. History is His story. He is the author and finisher. He raises up kings and tears them down again. He is our strong tower. He is an ever-present help. He is Lord of all and over all. There is no one and nothing outside of His control. When God says something will be done, you can know that it WILL absolutely, positively, 100%, be done. In Judges 6:16–23, God tells Gideon, “ I WILL be with you.” “You WILL strike Midian down as if it were one man.”  “I WILL stay until you return.” And, “Don’t be afraid, for you WILL NOT die.” In Judges 7:7 The Lord said to Gideon, “I WILL deliver you with the three hundred men.” God has a purpose and a plan, and He will be faithful to complete His plan. Ephesians 2:10 reminds us that God created us for good works, “which God prepared ahead of time for us to do,” and Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that God knows the plans He has for us.  When we understand that God will work out His plan, it changes how we pray. Instead of asking God to be with us in our plans, may we ask that He allow us to be with Him in His plans.

Truth 5: God wants leaders to walk in confidence by faith.

When the time came for the battle to occur, Gideon gave each of his 300 men their torches and their trumpets and their clay pots and he gave them this instruction in Judges 7:17: “Watch me,” he said to them, “and do what I do.” In this moment, Gideon gives us a beautiful picture of biblical leadership. It’s not a “do as I say” strategy, but one built on leadership by example. In reality, we all know that “do as I say” never works. Our actions need to model our words. It’s not enough to say it; we have to display it. It’s not enough to talk it; we have to walk it. It’s not enough to know it; we have to show it. Paul encouraged the church at Corinth to follow him as he followed Christ. We need to model trust in God through difficult circumstances. We need to walk by faith through uncertainty. We need to model determination to reach kids and teach kids, if not in person then through their mailboxes, their inboxes, or online. 

As leaders, we need to get our hearts right and our heads right, and then invite people to watch us and do what we do, reminding ourselves and others that the mission hasn’t changed. God sometimes does big things in absurd ways. This is not our battle to win or lose. God will accomplish His will.

In the end, we’ll learn something profound: In God’s eyes, Plan B was Plan A all along.

Chuck Peters is Director of Operations for Lifeway Kids. Before his role at Lifeway, Chuck had an extensive career in television and video production. He is a 3-time Emmy Award Winning producer, director, writer and host. A graduate of Columbia Bible College, Chuck, and his wife, Cris, have served vocationally & voluntarily in Student and Children’s Ministry for many years. They have four amazing children: Tally (21), Tristen (20), Tyson (14) and Tate (11). 

Encouragement, Kids Ministry, Leadership, Ministry

Assess Your Ministry After a Year of Pivoting

By

If there’s one word that sums up the experience of the church in 2020 (and now 2021) it may be the word “Pivot.” The foundational assumptions of when, where, and how we facilitate ministry have been upended. Because of COVID, it’s likely your Sunday School classes and community groups haven’t been meeting. If you are having worship gatherings they are likely at a greatly reduced capacity. People simply aren’t coming like they did before COVID.

We have all always known the real church isn’t a building. Every one of us could preach a sermon or lay out a lesson that passionately proclaims the church is the people not the steeple. Even so, that hasn’t kept us from relying on in-person gatherings as the primary way of conducting church. So what can we do in light of the setbacks the church is experiencing.

Your initial reaction may be one of paralysis; choosing to watch and wait and wonder when things will go back to normal again so you can go back to doing ministry the way you have always done it. But there’s danger that comes with getting stuck in this “freeze” response. People need pastoral care, Bible study, and biblical perspective right now.

While people may not be coming to church, they still desperately need the influence of the church in their lives. As people deal with isolation, job losses, health crises, and death, they need Jesus. We as the church need to act with a sense or urgency during this season. If people can’t or won’t come to church, we need to find new ways to take church to them. The gospel is too important. We need to be determined to not allow our ministry to be deterred or deferred. It’s time for us to take active steps to pivot our strategies. We need to warm up to the idea of Plan B. 

ASSESS THE SITUATION ACCURATELY

The first step in adjusting your plan so you can pivot properly is to accurately assess the situation. The emphasis here is on accuracy. Tell yourself the truth about the situation. Because your assessment directly impacts your action plan, it is essential that your observations be true and valid representations of the situation and of your available resources.

In Numbers 13, Moses sent out 12 men to spy on Canaan. Ten men came back with a negative perception, and two with favorable one. In that instance, all 12 saw the same things; they did not dispute what they saw, but they interpreted the data differently. The lessons here for us: First, it is wise to not assess a crisis by yourself. Multiple perspectives are important. You don’t need to have twelve advisors, but there is wisdom in conducting assessments with a trusted team, not in isolation. Second, the larger group may make observations, but the data gathered should be interpreted by wise and trusted leaders who are strong people of faith, committed to the cause of your ministry.

REASSESS YOUR KEY ASSUMPTIONS

Making an adjustment from Plan A to Plan B offers you an important opportunity to check your focus. It’s time to ask clarifying questions about what you will choose to categorize as essential and non-essential operations. I call this clarifying your “why.” Before delving deeply into the “what” and “how” of a new plan, it is essential to first bring clarity to a clear and compelling purpose for your plan. You cannot move forward into a viable and effective Plan B without revisiting and clarifying your foundational purpose and goal.

ASSESS AVAILABILITY OF ASSETS

Once you have an accurate idea of the situation, you need to assemble an accurate assessment of what resources you have available. A word of caution here: It can be easy to improperly focus your attention on what you don’t have, rather than what you do have. What matters most in a crisis situation is knowing what options are available. These assets will help you establish a workable action plan.

When Moses stood before God at the burning bush in Exodus 4, he was quick to list the skills and assets he lacked as an explanation of why he could not do what God asked of him. God’s response, however, was to ask Moses, “What’s that in your hand?” God then took the one thing Moses had, his ordinary staff, and used it in miraculous ways as an instrumental tool in accomplishing His plan.

Jesus did this at the feeding of the five thousand. When His disciples came to Him with an impossible problem, Jesus asked them in Mark 6:38, “How many loaves do you have?” He asked. “Go and see.” He then instructed them to bring what they had to Him, and He proceeded to do something big with the little they had available.

As you assess your available options, don’t worry about what you lack; instead, list whatever things you have “in your hand.” Lift whatever resources you have to the Lord, and trust Him to use whatever you have for His glory.

BE ACTION ORIENTED

The purpose of assessment should always be action. We don’t assess merely for the sake of interest, or simply to explain why things aren’t happening. Assess from a standpoint of gathering data that can be used to formulate an actionable plan. This typically means generating a prioritized list of sub-goals and then setting immediate, intermediate, and long-term actions to accomplish them.

In the short term, be careful to only fix what’s really broken and only add what’s needed. Start with essentials. Preserve and secure your necessary functions. Maintain and sustain your base actions, then expand your plan gradually toward operating at full capacity.  

Assessment should not be a one-time event, but an ongoing process of recurring evaluation. This is especially true during seasons when we are implementing temporary short-term strategies. In some seasons you may need to re-assess assumptions, available resources, and action plans weekly. Whatever you do, don’t do nothing. Take the first step to a new action plan by assessing the situation, re-examining your core purpose, and identifying your available assets so you can create a solid action plan for the future.

Chuck Peters is Director of Operations for Lifeway Kids. A graduate of Columbia Bible College, Chuck has served vocationally & voluntarily in Student and Children’s Ministry for many years.

Encouragement, Encouraging, Kids Ministry

Dust Storms, Pandemics, and Kids Ministry

By

Growing up on the South Plains of West Texas, I always knew that March and April would bring high winds and lots of dust in the air. My mother still lives in my hometown and claims the dust storms clear the air—that once the gritty dirt settles, the air is fresh and clean.

Pandemics, I’m beginning to sense, are like dust storms in some ways. When you’re in the middle of them, you can’t see past the end of your nose. However, once the dust settles, kids ministry may be fresh with a sense of newness. Nonetheless, we’re still in the midst of the COVID-19 storm, so what can we do now to prepare for the clear skies that are sure to follow?

  1. Focus on your relationship with God. Now is definitely not the time to slack off reading and studying God’s Word, as well as spending time with God in prayer. Once the storm passes, we’ll need to be prepared for what’s next in kids ministry. Neglecting personal discipleship now will hinder our future ability to be in tune with God’s will.
  2. Take care of your physical and mental health. When you purchase a pre-owned vehicle in West Texas, look under the hood. If you see a lot of dust, you know that the car may not have been maintained properly. If we don’t take care of ourselves now, we may discover we have neither the strength nor energy to lead a vibrant kids ministry.
  3. Stay in contact with families. Families are hurting and grieving loss. They need ministry, now. If we wait until the dust settles to ramp up individual and corporate communication with families, we may send the unintended message that we care about them only when they show up in-person.
  4. Redefine ministry success. We may not want to admit this, but we often measure success by the number of kids in attendance. A post-pandemic kids ministry may appear smaller; however, that doesn’t mean God is not using you still to reach, teach, and minister to kids and their families.
  5. Clean up your ministry calendar. Perhaps for the first time in your ministry, you have the opportunity to start over. The pressure to keep a program alive will be lessened in a post-COVID world. Focus on what is important and build your ministry calendar from there. 

Anytime I think about moving back to the home of my youth, I quickly remember the taste and smell of blowing sand between my teeth and in my nostrils. I also think about the fresh air and beautiful sunsets made possible by the dust. There is no doubt that the current pandemic and the suffering it is causing is serious and painful. However, let’s not dwell on and complain about the storm. Instead, let’s look forward to a kids ministry that is fresh and focused.

_________________________

Landry Holmes is the Manager of Lifeway Kids Ongoing Bible Studies and Network Partnerships, Nashville, TN, and is a graduate of Howard Payne University and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. The author of It’s Worth It: Uncovering How One Week Can Transform Your Church and a general editor of the Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary for Kids, Landry is a church leader, writer, workshop facilitator, and publisher. He teaches kids at his church in Middle Tennessee, where his wife Janetta is the Preschool Minister. They enjoy spending time with their two adult sons and their wives, and spoiling their five grandchildren.

Encouragement, Family, Parent Helps, Parenting

How To Be Friends With Your Daughter (And Still Be The Parent)

By

By Chrissy Duke

Being a parent and a friend often seems like a contradiction, or just too layered to be true at the same time. Either way, it is a common critique of parents that they either err on the side of being their child’s friend, or they simply have little to no personal relationships outside of setting boundaries and rules with their children.  Where is the balance and can there be a balance between the two?  

I remember as an elementary age kid one morning waking up to a horribly loud crashing noise. I ran out of my room to find my mom, who had recently had knee surgery, had slipped on the stairs and fallen down the entire flight. 911 was already being called because she couldn’t move.  Needless to say, it was scary as a young child, seeing this and watching your mom be taken to the hospital by ambulance. To skip to the end real quick – my mom ended up being okay and came home the same day! But I remember after this all happened, my dad took all of us kids for an early morning breakfast, maybe to cheer us up or to distract us all from what happened. Either way, when we got home, as I unwrapped my breakfast sandwich it slipped from the wrapper and fell to the ground. I immediately started bawling! My dad picked me up, set me on his lap, and whispered in my ear, “I know you’re scared, but mom is going to be okay.” I specifically remember the amazement I felt that he knew I wasn’t upset about the breakfast sandwich. I was so grateful in that moment that He understood me, and assured me that it was okay to be scared.

Whether we are family or friends, our goal in relationships is focused in the same direction and the ultimate goal is connection—to be known and understood. We all long for connection, a space where we can be known and know another. In fact, we don’t just long for it, we are made for it. God created us to be connected with others. It’s no small thing that God Himself is in constant connection and relationship with Himself. He is the triune God—Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  It’s hard to comprehend but He within Himself is fully in connection and fully known! He created us in His image, with the intentional design to need connection. We are not supposed to do life alone.  

A parent relationship and a friend relationship often look different. A parent connection happens naturally, automatically—simply because you are family. But a friend relationship seems like the place where connection is deeper. A friend is often the person whom you confide in and offer honesty with in a way you may not with a parent. When you go to a friend, you are really looking for someone who you can share with that will say, “oh man, i know how you feel.” “That is so unfair.” “I am so sorry you went through that.” “Wow, how awesome that happened!”  So, even though a friend and parent both seek connection, a parent may feel it’s impossible to be a “friend” because of discipline. boundaries and rules.  

I would like to offer one suggestion for you to create a connection with your daughter that reflects the automatic connection, as well as a deeper connection and understanding.  The invitation is to offer validation. 

Validation is when you recognize or affirm a person’s feelings or opinions as valid or worthwhile. At first glance, I’m sure you feel like validation is the wrong way to go especially if your child has just rolled their eyes at you for the hundredth time today, or they just shoved their sister down as they walked to their room. And yet, the most beautiful thing about validation is it does not declare their action as right or wrong. 

Validation is the opportunity to connect even in the most difficult or hurtful of situations. In Michael Sorensen’s book on validation, he says validation is essentially “saying to someone, “I hear you.  I get what you’re feeling, and it’s perfectly alright to feel that way.”1 You may have heard it said that feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are. Feelings are there to inform us, to tell us and point us to truth. When we validate someone, we for a moment suspend the right and wrongness of the situation and offer to empathize with the emotion. 

For example: when your daughter rolls her eyes again, you can offer validation of the emotion (not the action). “I don’t blame you for being frustrated right now, being told no is frustrating when you have a plan you would like to see happen.” You may be amazed how quickly this little thing called validation diffuses a situation. It immediately creates connection. 

Is this not the type of connection we look for in our friendships? What if, as parents, we can create opportunities for this same type of connection without stepping away from discipline and equipping our children to make wise choices. What if validation is a way we can enter into and appreciate their struggle and as we create connection we also create the safe space to reinforce boundaries?

If you read through the gospels, you will encounter countless examples of how Jesus validated His followers and friends without condoning their sin. Think about John 11 when Jesus weeps over the death of Lazarus. Even though He knew that Lazarus would rise again, “when Jesus saw her crying, and the Jews who had come with her crying, he was deeply moved in his spirit and troubled.” (v. 33). Jesus was compassionate to His friend, Martha, and the Jews, and despite their doubts, He extended an invitation for them to witness the miraculous resurrection of their friend, Lazarus.

It’s a beautiful reminder that our Heavenly Father isn’t just our Savior—He is our friend. And if you want to model your parenting after anyone, He’s the best example there is.

1. Michael Sorenesen, I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships (Autumn Creek Press, 2017).

Chrissy Duke is a passionate follower of Jesus Christ who loves to share what God is speaking to me with other young girls and women! She is also a wife and a mother of two beautiful girls. Chrissy has a calling to help the marginalized be recognized, heard, and helped. She does this primarily through an organization called Beauty For Ashes Africa. They work to combat human trafficking in North Africa, where they have a transition home for at-risk girls! Chrissy loves a good cup of coffee in the morning, getting outside in nature, and being with family.

Encouragement, Encouraging, Family, Kids Ministry

Who Does God Want to Be for You?

By

By Sarah Humphrey

The lives of children are complexly simple. They are also beautifully honest.

The presence of children in our lives nurtures a part of our hearts that we’ve often left behind somewhere. They always seem to ask just the right questions to make adults think twice, gather themselves, or sometimes even get frustrated. It’s as if God gave us children, not only because they are a delight from Him, but also because they are the truth-telling witness we often need.

I’ve had countless experiences where my kids have ministered to me when I was supposed to be ministering to them! I bet you have, too. Children are full of thoughts, they take the Bible literally and believe it, and their black and white thinking is often a beautiful source of faith, conviction, and grace.  As adults and caregivers, we can get so overwhelmed by the details that we forget the beauty of the Gospel is in the presence of these little ones. They often point us back to our own need for our Father, and they give us grace to rest in Him again.

The world is a different place now than it was when we were children.  Though kids are facing some similar needs, they are also facing many new challenges.  That can feel both overwhelming and also all-encompassing.  One of my favorite questions when I struggle is: “Who does God want to be for me right now?” I’ve started to ask my kids the same question when we work through different struggles, fears, and cycles of defeat.

When we aren’t able to do things ourselves, we become desperate for a God who can save us. And when we reach that point, we re-learn our faith. We get to ask Jesus: “Who do You want to be for me in this place? How do You want to show Yourself to me? Where I am insufficient, where are You all-sufficient?” This is the God of the Bible; He is Jesus. He is the King of Kings, the All-Powerful One, and the Maker of Heaven and Earth.  It’s these times that we remember that He is God, and He wants to provide for us.

Take 30 minutes and spend time making an opposites list with your kids.  Ask them to write down anywhere from 1-5 struggles they might be having currently.  After they have named where they lack, go to the Bible and find the Name of God or the Bible verse that fulfills their need.  Have them write it down or make an art piece about it, and hang it up somewhere they can see it often.  God is good, and His delight is in providing for His children.

Sarah is a wife and homeschool mom to three kids while also working as an artist, author, and voice actor.  Her writing and doodling can be found in her devotional, “40 Days to a Joyful Motherhood” and her voice in several commercials, children’s books, and audiobooks. She loves encouraging women and kids to embrace self-care, utilize their gifts, and become leaders in the community around them. 

Encouragement, Family, Family Ministry, Kids Ministry

Loving Kids and Families When You Don’t Feel Like It

By

Life overall is messy, and church life is no exception. In addition, COVID-19 has made both even more messy. What causes the mess? People. 

One of my favorite quotes from the beloved comic strip Peanuts® is attributed to Linus, who exclaims one day, “I love mankind . . .  It’s people I can’t stand!” I think we all feel that way sometimes. We love kids and families, but sometimes we lose our patience or get irritated with them. (Kids and families, by the way, love us but become frustrated with us, too.)

So, what are we to do about this situation? The apostle Paul’s writings offer insight for us today when kids and families don’t always act in ways that make it easy to show them Christ-like love. Here are some biblical principles that can help us be more loving:

  1. Love is expected of us as believers. Paul says, “Do not owe anyone anything, except to love one another, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.” (Romans 13:8)
  2. Love is expressed through our behavior. What is referred to as the love chapter has these words for us: “Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
  3. Love is observed by unbelievers, who are watching us. I think that is part of what Paul is saying here: “About brotherly love: You don’t need me to write you because you yourselves are taught by God to love one another. In fact, you are doing this toward all the brothers and sisters in the entire region of Macedonia. But we encourage you, brothers and sisters, to do this even more, to seek to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, so that you may behave properly in the presence of outsiders and not be dependent on anyone.” (1 Thessalonians 4:9-12)
  4. Love sets an example for others in the church. Paul writes to his protégé Timothy, “. . . set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12)
  5. Love is a source of church unity. Again, Scripture reminds Christians “ to walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:1-3) Paul also states, “Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. (Colossians 3:14)

So, why all this talk about loving preschoolers, children, and their families? For one, the Bible has a lot more to say about love, which is indicative of its importance. In fact Paul says in his closing statement to the church in Corinth, “Do everything in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14) So, while the world is thinking about love this month, let’s double-down on our desire to show the love of Jesus to everyone. Playing favorites is not an option.

_________________________

Landry Holmes is the Manager of Lifeway Kids Ongoing Bible Studies and Network Partnerships, Nashville, TN, and is a graduate of Howard Payne University and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. The author of It’s Worth It: Uncovering How One Week Can Transform Your Church and a general editor of the Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary for Kids, Landry is a church leader, writer, workshop facilitator, and publisher. He teaches kids at his church in Middle Tennessee, where his wife Janetta is the Preschool Minister. They enjoy spending time with their two adult sons and their wives, and spoiling their five grandchildren.

All Ministry Sites

Leadership
Kids Ministry
Student Ministry
Groups Ministry
Women’s Ministry
Worship Ministry

Digital Resources

Ministry Grid
Lifeway Worship
Digital Church
KidEvent Pro
MyCurriculum Manager
Simulcast Manager
Lifeway Reader eBooks
Generosity
WORDsearch
SmallGroup.com

Lifeway Network

Lifeway Research
B&H