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Kids Ministry

Dedicated to helping Kids Ministry leaders in their mission of making disciples

Encouragement, Kids Ministry, Leadership

5 Ways to Help Volunteers Grow as Leaders

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Any Kids Ministry leader will testify nonstop that you can’t underestimate the importance of having a strong volunteer base.  

Strong volunteers don’t just show up regularly and help make sure things go smoothly on a Sunday morning, they lead. How do we help volunteers grow as leaders? Here are 5 ways:

  1. Give volunteers meaningful ways to lead.  When you give volunteers the chance to do things that matter and lead in the church, they will grow as leaders and lead better. Fight the temptation to just ask volunteers to do the busywork.
  2. Empower volunteers to solve problems. If something isn’t happening the right way, instead of fixing it yourself help volunteers know how to fix it. It will take more effort in the short run, but it will pay off over time.
  3. Share constructive feedback with volunteers. Too many times we don’t let volunteers know how they can improve because we’ll hurt their feelings and they may stop volunteering. Giving feedback is actually one of the most caring things a leader can do because it gives someone the opportunity to grow.
  4. Listen to ideas volunteers share. It’s likely that the people who know what will work in your ministry are the same people who serve in it.  When a volunteer shares a new idea, stop and really listen to what they have to say. If you end up implementing it, that person’s investment in the ministry will only increase.
  5. Allow volunteers to share ministry results. Taking time to celebrate victories isn’t just exciting, it also helps remind us why we do kids ministry. Giving volunteers a time to share what God is doing can encourage everyone and increase motivation to come back and do it all again.

When we help volunteers grow as leaders, our ministries will be more impactful in the lives of kids we serve.  What other ways have you found that you can help volunteers grow as leaders?

Logan Meek leads the Student Life for Kids team. Logan joined the Student Life For Kids team in 2014 after spending two years as a Sixth Grade teacher with Teach For America. He believes in the importance of strong kids ministry to help kids build strong spiritual foundations.

Encouragement, Kids Ministry, Leadership

The “No Phone” Zone

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I think a lot of ministry leaders today are “phonies.” This reality may be a problem in your ministry, and I think it must be acknowledged and dealt with expeditiously. We are all familiar with the term ‘selfie.’ Selfies are those personal taken-at-arm’s-length self-portrait phone photos that people post to their social media accounts. Although it is not always the case, for many the term ‘selfie’ connotes a sense of self-absorption and narcissism that suggests that habitual selfie posters might be more aware of themselves than those around them. I have no stones to throw at selfie-takers. I confess that I myself have indulged in more than a few selfie-centered snapshots. I would, rather, like to use this relatively new term that we all know to introduce a new one: the “phonie.” No, not a ‘phony’ in the sense of being a disingenuous ‘faker,’ ‘poser’ or ‘pretender.” A phonie is a person who is distracted, often compulsively, by his or her phone to the extent that other people that they are with are ignored or neglected. Are your teachers, leaders, and volunteers phonies? Are you?

We live in a culture within which millions of people have developed a compulsion to carry (and constantly consult) our smartphones. Many of us exhibit unhealthy addictive behavior in our relationships with our phones. We cannot NOT check our messages, and no place or time seems to be exempt. (Distracted driving anyone?) We carry our phones everywhere, panic when we cannot get a signal, and respond with Pavlovian predictability everytime our ringer rings, email dings, or new text bings. We all know that smartphones have become a distraction around dinner tables. Some have suggested setting phones aside in a stack when dining out with friends; the first one who touches his or her phone pays.

While we may be quick to excuse ourselves or justify our frequent phone-checking, we need to be aware of the message that our phone-centric behavior has on others who we may be with physically. Too often we are not fully present when face-to-face with others because our phones draw us to interact with others who are not present. This is a particular, and I would suggest a very serious, problem when 1) interacting with children and 2) in ministry settings.

As leaders of kids and teachers of God’s Word, we need to practice being fully present during ministry times. We cannot afford to have our adult leaders (or teen helpers) staring at their smartphones when they should be interacting with the children in the room. Discipleship happens in relationship. Kids already compete with phones for the attention of adults and older siblings at home, let’s not let that be the case at church.

In light of this reality, let me suggest that it may be time to evaluate your kids ministry policies and procedures in regard to phone use. We would do well to set the expectation that classrooms and ministry spaces are ‘no phone zones’ for both adults and kids. Ask most adults serving in your spaces to turn their ringers off, and to leave their phones in their purses, pockets, or backpacks during service times. — If your church uses cell phones as a way of communicating in emergency situations you may permit certain leaders to keep them turned on and close by, but do this with wisdom and discernment.

We need to teach our teachers and helpers to put down their phones during ministry times, so they can actively connect with the children that are in front of them. When kids look at our faces may they see the joy of the Lord, not the glow of our phones.

Chuck Peters is Director of Operations for LifeWay Kids. A graduate of Columbia Bible College, Chuck has served vocationally & voluntarily in Student and Children’s Ministry for many years.

Encouragement, Kids Ministry, Leadership

Leaving a Legacy: Lessons I learned from my Children’s Minister.

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In kids ministry, many times much energy and time goes into planning and executing big events. While those events are important, recently I was reminded of the significance of day-to-day ministry. Miss Libby Reynolds was the Director of the Primary Division (what we would call a Children’s Minister today) at my home church for over four decades. With her recent passing, I began to reflect on how her commitment to the day-to-day ministry impacted my life and lessons I learned from her ministry.

Keep the focus on Jesus. Miss Libby was a servant who reflected Christ in everything she did. Her relationship with Christ and following His will was most important in her life. As a result, she pointed everyone she met to Him. She saw the importance of providing a biblical and spiritual foundation for kids. Jesus was the focus of every ministry and event.

Make time for People. Miss Libby cared about people. She knew their names. She deeply loved them. She took time to visit with each and every person. 

Miss Libby visited families in their time of need. 

Additionally, she made a priority to visit with each child after he or she became a Christian.

When I was in third grade, I invited Miss Libby to a party I was having for kids in my neighborhood (the day before Easter.) Miss Libby came and even brought a beautiful cake for all of us to enjoy. 

Now as an adult and a children’s ministry leader, I realize the sacrifice she made to minister to me and my friends on one of the most important and busiest weekends of the year. She understood the importance of relationships in ministry.

Be a leader worth following. People loved to serve under Miss Libby’s leadership. She saw the potential in teachers and saw the importance of developing leaders. She was organized and continually reminded them of the vision. Teachers not only knew the how but understood the why. She invested, appreciated, and empowered leaders.

I am confident the Lord used Miss Libby to help develop His call in my life, just as He is using you to develop His call in children’s lives. Future children’s ministers, pastors, parents, missionaries, and other church leaders are in your ministry. What legacy are you leaving for the children under your leadership?

Delanee Williams serves as a Ministry Specialist with LifeWay Kids. She is a graduate of Baylor University and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.  Delanee has served in kids ministry for over twenty years and is passionate about developing, equipping and encouraging leaders.

Encouragement, Kids Ministry, Leadership

Dealing with Difficult People

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People are flawed. And because people are people, and because ministry is to, for, with, and by people, you’re probably dealing with some people you consider to be flawed and difficult. And the truth is, there are likely other people who consider you to be part of their “difficult” people group.

The first thing we need to realize is that there’s not much you can do to change anyone. You aren’t able to make those “difficult” people act any less difficult. The only person you can change is you. We can’t control how people respond, but we can control how we respond to others.

Let’s call on scripture to help us know what we can do to work more effectively with the difficult people in our lives. Let’s see what James 1 says:

TAKE A DEEP BREATH (verse 2-4):

“Consider it a great joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.”

What? Consider these difficult people GREAT JOY? Yep, that’s what it says. Maybe, just maybe, this difficult person has been placed in your life to mature and grow you. See the situation as an opportunity, not a punishment.

PRAY (verse 5):

“Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God — who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly — and it will be given to him.”

Pray and ask for wisdom. Seek wisdom on how to deal with the difficult situation, person, and behavior. Pray for the person with whom you are struggling. Ask God to show you the way He sees them.

2 Corinthians 5:16 tells us, “From now on, then, we do not know anyone in a purely human way.”

So, when you look at difficult people around you, don’t see them in a human way; see them as Jesus would see them. Think of people how Jesus thinks of people. Learn to see what Jesus sees in people.

  • Man saw a lunatic; God saw a righteous man — Noah.
  • Man saw a possible attempted murderer; God saw a father of a nation in Abraham.
  • His brothers saw an arrogant brat; In Joseph, God saw a way for His people to survive.
  • Man may have seen a murdering bush-talker; God saw a leader for deliverance named Moses.
  • Man saw a stuck-up elitist; God saw a missionary named Jonah.
  • Man saw a lying, cheating, tax collector; Jesus saw a forgiven man named Zacchaeus.
  • Man saw a homeless, radical troublemaker; God saw the Savior of the world —  Jesus.

HANG IN THERE (verse 12):

“Blessed is the one who endures trials, because when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life He has promised to those who love him.”

If you’re angry, find a healthy way to diffuse your anger. Endure the trial. Know that there’s a reward coming!

CONSIDER THE SOURCE OF THE DIFFICULTY (verse 13-14):

“No one undergoing a trial should say, ‘I am being tempted by God’ … But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires.”

To be clear, God does not use sin to tempt you. Be careful not to look past the mirror to explain the difficult situation. You may be looking at the problem in the eyes.

TAKE A THREE-STEP APPROACH (verse 19)

“My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.”

#1 – Be quick to listen. #2 – Be slow to speak. #3 – Be slow to anger! Very good advice. We have two ears and one mouth. Perhaps that’s God’s way of instructing us to speak half as much as we listen. Be careful as you deal with difficult people. Anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.

TAKE ACTION (verse 22-25)

“But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. Because if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like someone looking at his own face in a mirror. For he looks at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what kind of person he was. But the one who looks intently into the perfect law of freedom and perseveres in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer who works – this person will be blessed in what he does.”

Be a doer. Take action, not to react, but respond. And don’t forget to look in the mirror. We’re all sinners in need of forgiveness. Then, be blessed! Let it go. Give it to God and don’t take it back!

Dealing with difficult people can be difficult. I’m working hard at not being difficult as I deal with those I perceive to be difficult. I’m trying to see these people differently. Not as difficult, but as a blessing. That changes everything.

Bill Emeott serves as Lead Ministry Specialist for LifeWay Kids. He is a graduate of Mercer University and New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. Bill has served in Kids Ministry for almost 30 years and currently teaches 3rd Grade Bible study at his home church in Nashville, TN.

Encouragement, Kids Ministry, Leadership

When Church Work is Hard

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It was one of those Sundays. Actually, it was one of a series of those Sundays. You know what I’m talking about. You arrived at church extra early, and you stayed late. While everyone else was eating pancakes for breakfast or ordering lunch at a restaurant, you were setting up or cleaning up so their preschoolers and elementary kids could have a positive experience at church. However, the experience didn’t feel positive to you. In fact, you dragged your weary self out to your car in the empty church parking lot, thinking that all your work was for naught. But, was it?

Well, that depends. Whose work was it and why did you do it? If your Sunday toiling is your work and you do it out of extrinsic or selfish motivation (guilt, pride, ego, etc.), then maybe it is for naught. However, if you show up every week because of what Jesus did for you on the cross and because the work is not yours but God’s, then you do not labor in vain.

I have been part of kids ministry all my adult life as either a volunteer, a paid church staff member, or the spouse of a staff member. In each of those roles, I have found church work to be challenging and downright hard. There are days I want to quit. As a volunteer sometimes I’m tempted to say, “I’m just a volunteer; why do I put up with this mess?”   

Sure, the 10-year-old girl hurt your feelings or the 3-year-old boy punched you in the face, and some kids didn’t show up because their parents had “something better” to do; however, Jesus experienced far worse. And, Christians all over the world are persecuted every day for their faith. I say that not to induce guilt, but to remind you to place your misery in perspective.

Satan wants you to quit. The more you show love to children in Jesus’ name and point them to our Heavenly Father, the more Satan tries to tempt you to quit with thoughts of despair. What do those thoughts do? They distract you from focusing on Jesus and the kids He loves, and they cause you to doubt your Kingdom effectiveness.

What should you do when your body, mind, and spirit are exhausted and screaming for you to give up? Scripture is quite clear. “Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith.” (Galatians 6:9-10)

Church work is hard. Kids ministry is hard. We are living in a fallen world inhabited by sinful people, including you and me. By God’s grace, we can get out of bed before daylight on Sunday morning and stay until the last child is out the door. And maybe, just maybe, we can go home, take a nap, and start all over the next week.

Landry Holmes is the Manager of LifeWay Kids Ministry Publishing, Nashville, TN. A graduate of Howard Payne University and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, Landry served on church staffs before coming to LifeWay. He is a church leader, writer, workshop facilitator, and publisher.  Landry also teaches children at his church in Middle Tennessee. He and his wife Janetta are the grandparents of two adorable grandbabies.

Encouragement, Kids Ministry, Leadership

Unintentional Influence

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Do you think of yourself as an influencer? Leadership expert John C. Maxwell explains, “Leadership is not about titles, positions or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another.” As kids ministry leaders, we have influence. As believers, we have influence.

Many times, we intentionally try to exercise influence through meetings, training sessions, one-on-one conversations, emails, and social media. However, you may be surprised at how many times you influence people without realizing you are doing so.

If you don’t believe me, think about people who have unintentionally influenced you. The neighbor who uses organic-only lawn care products. The friend who reads a genre of books you haven’t thought about reading. The co-worker who brings her lunch to the office in order to save money.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about people whom I may have influenced in ways unbeknownst to me. For example, a few years ago I was invited by a colleague to meet with a young man who wanted to know more about the work of LifeWay’s Kids Ministry Publishing and how he might engage with us. He was attending college, majoring in graphic design. I explained that, at the time,  there might be more future employment opportunities in the editorial field than in design. He returned to the university and added a second major in English. Now is he is on the team I lead as a versatile graphic designer.

Almost 20 years ago, my wife and I taught a preschooler in Sunday School who clung to her mother’s leg almost every Sunday morning. As a teenager, she helped us teach preschoolers in VBS, and as a college student, she is a full-fledged Sunday School teacher. She even changed her major to early childhood development.

More recently I taught a workshop related to kids ministry. Among those participating were a mother and her teenage son. As I often do when teaching leaders, I used the teen’s name as part of an illustration. Several days later, his mom sent me a thank-you note and mentioned the positive impact of my acknowledging him as a preschool teacher.

I did not set out to influence those three individuals, but I believe God places us in the right place at the right time to encourage and influence others for His glory. God used Paul in this way. In fact, Paul reminds the younger Timothy, “What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, commit to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” (2 Timothy 2:2)

The enemy tries to convince us that we don’t provide positive influence, that what we do doesn’t matter or have a lasting impact. But we know better. When I get discouraged and wonder if what I’m doing in kids ministry is making a difference, I remember those whom I’ve influenced to “teach others also.”  Whom have you influenced? Thank God for the opportunity to influence others for His glory.

Landry Holmes is the Manager of LifeWay Kids Ministry Publishing, Nashville, TN. A graduate of Howard Payne University and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, Landry served on church staffs before coming to LifeWay. He is a church leader, writer, workshop facilitator, and publisher. Landry also teaches children at his church in Middle Tennessee. He and his wife Janetta are the grandparents of two adorable grandbabies.

Encouragement, Kids Ministry, Leadership

5 Tips to Becoming Less Technologically Distracted

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This morning I awoke early, spent time looking at my electronic tablet while getting ready, connected my smartphone to my vehicle’s audio system, drove to the airport and showed the parking attendant the reservation on my smartphone, checked my baggage using the boarding pass on my smartphone, went through the security checkpoint with my electronic boarding pass,  boarded the plane with a quick scan of my smartphone’s airline app, and read emails until time to switch my smartphone to airplane mode.

And I wonder why I’m tired, stressed, and distracted! Granted this is not a typical morning for me; however, almost every day begins with reaching for my tablet or phone and ends with putting them away before crawling into bed exhausted. Our world has become so connected and attached to powerful electronic devices that we are constantly technologically distracted everywhere we go. Even the security checkpoint officer was briefly distracted this morning  when she stole a quick glance at her smartphone.

What does this have to do with teaching preschoolers and elementary kids at church? Tony Reinke in his book 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You says, “We check our smartphones about 81,500 times each year, or once every 4.3 minutes of our waking lives.” That could mean you’re checking your phone almost 14 times during the one hour you’re teaching kids at church.

So, what can you and I do to be less distracted by technology as we attempt to teach kids the Bible? Here are five steps that can apply not only to the classroom setting, but to work and home as well:

    1. Accept the reality and limits of technology. Technology is here to stay and will continue to be more invasive. However, it can never make us omnipresent. The sooner we learn that, the more engaged with real people in real time we will become. Smartphones and tablets will never take the place of one-on-one, biblical conversations with kids.
    2. Evaluate your personal tech usage. Free tools exist that can help you know if you are too connected digitally. Search online for the Internet Addiction Test (IAT), the Facebook Intensity Quiz, and other assessments. Make changes based on your evaluation.
    3. Establish “No Tech” zones. Place your smartphone out of reach in the classroom. Know where it is for emergencies, but otherwise “forget” where it is. Say to yourself and your co-teachers, “I don’t check my phone in the classroom.” Just making this statement reinforces your resolve.
    4. Use the “do not disturb” feature on your phone. If you don’t know how, ask a first grader to show you. Basically this feature allows calls and texts only from specific contacts, such as your spouse or children’s pastor.
    5. Enlist a tech accountability partner. This could be your co-teacher. Give her permission to give you “the look” or some other signal when you start pulling your phone out of your pocket. I teach every week with a Millennial, and she NEVER uses her smartphone in the classroom. I could learn from her example.

A few months ago I was sitting in the blocks area of a Bible study classroom, and a pre-kindergartener was trying to explain something to me. He felt compelled to say, “Hey!” to get my attention. I almost missed a Bible-teaching moment because I was looking at a text. That shameful incident helped me make some changes. What about you? What changes will you make this week?

Well, it’s time to put this blog post to bed and send to the editor. For the price of a fast-food meal I could connect to WiFi while flying 38,000 feet in the air and email what I just wrote, but I’m too frugal for that . . . or distracted.

Landry Holmes is the Manager of LifeWay Kids Ministry Publishing, Nashville, TN. A graduate of Howard Payne University and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, Landry served on church staffs before coming to LifeWay. He is a church leader, writer, workshop facilitator, and publisher.  Landry also teaches children at his church in Middle Tennessee. He and his wife Janetta are the grandparents of two adorable grandbabies.

Encouragement, Family, Kids Ministry, Preteen, Resources

The Bully Situation: Bully or Bullied

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I’ve never been popular. In fact, I would probably say that I’m more liked now than I ever was as a child. I had a few friends, but I just wasn’t the most popular kid. I was an easy target. I wasn’t athletic and I did pretty well in school. I didn’t hit a growth spurt until I was in my late teens. At times, I was bullied. Probably due to certain personality traits, I was able to endure bullying with relative ease.

My situation is not true for everyone. Many kids really struggle with bullying and I totally understand why. Having your peers attack your worth as a human being is demeaning and crippling.

As I have gotten older, I feel like I’ve come to understand bullying from different angles. I can think back to situations where I was clearly bullied, but also I am ashamed to admit I can think of times where I was a bully.

If you think about it, there are probably those situations for you in your life. I think that we all have some level of bully in us, and if we are willing to admit it, there have been times that we have felt bullied. The smart person can bully the person who understands things more slowly. The athletic person can bully the person who just isn’t interested in sports. The theologian can bully the a person of opposing views.

We would love to introduce you to  “Bully or Bullied” by FLYTE. It’s a great resource for helping your preteens understand the impact of bullying in hopes that they will be more able to cope with bullying in the future. Using solid biblical teaching, preteens will learn about people in the Bible who were both bullies and bullied. This resource is available digitally and can be downloaded today!

Jeff Land is Publishing Team Leader for Bible Studies For Life: Kids. He holds a BSW from Mississippi College and a MACE from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Jeff has served as children’s pastor and currently teaches second graders each week at his church. Jeff, his wife Abbey, and their four sons live in Coopertown, TN.

Encouragement, Family, Kids Ministry, Leadership, Ministry

4 Things Not to Say to Parents of Children with ADD/ADHD

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We could not figure it out. Out of four of our sons, two definitely were struggling. A pleaser and very calm child, despite his best efforts, one of our sons could not succeed at his schoolwork. No matter what we tried, it wouldn’t work. Nothing made a difference and we couldn’t find an answer. One of our other sons did not really misbehave but flittered around from place to place, room to room, toy to toy with an unbelievable amount of inability to focus. We began talking to our friends and medical professionals to try to determine the source of the issue. While the presenting issue was different for both children, it was suggested and determined that they might both have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). On the advice of our pediatrician, we chose a medicine that would help our sons focus. Our decision wasn’t made blindly and we really agonized over it. That’s why it’s quite hurtful when a stranger or even a friend makes a comment about children who have ADD. I’ve decided to list a few so that hopefully you can share with your ministry volunteers so that they don’t accidentally alienate a family from your church.

  • I could never medicate my kids. You know, there was a time I might have said the same thing. Parents who choose to give their children ADD medicines are often at a point of helplessness. It’s not a decision that they made quickly. In fact, many struggle even after they have begun the medicine. Choose to respect every parent’s decision to do what they feel is best for their own children.
  • In my day, they fixed it with discipline. If you’ve been around any length of time, you’ve probably heard someone state that the cure for inappropriate behavior is discipline. It’s true that discipline is important. God commanded Christian parents to discipline their children. It has to be understood, however, that there are some times that no amount of discipline would work. It wasn’t that my son didn’t want to do well in school, he tried desperately, but he couldn’t. I’ve heard adult men and women say “I’m not smart” or “I didn’t do well in school.” I wonder how many of those people would have a different opinion of their intelligence if they had only been given the tool to help them focus and learn in the way they needed to.
  • Have you tried _______? People are often quick to offer their suggestions and desperate parents will try anything. We had private tutors coming to our home after school, we bought essential oils said to aid in focus, we changed dietary habits, and more. For some, those are enough efforts, but for our family and many others, they don’t treat the root of the problem.
  • Your child was so bad this morning. OK, so I really hope that no one has told any parents in your church the preceding statement, but any time a parent is made aware of a behavioral issue, no matter how kindly it is stated, the parent hears “your child was bad!” Recognize that the child wasn’t bad, his behavior was not appropriate. Try your best to avoid having to tell the parents. The child and the parents hear it enough in other places. They do not need to hear it at church. And quite honestly, there are just days that parents forget to give their children their medicine and then they are riddled with guilt.

Now, for the good news. Our children are thriving with their newfound ability to focus on their tasks. They have a great medicine and we work closely with our doctor to monitor it to the lowest possible dose. Our son who struggled so much to read is now on the honor roll and loves to read. Our other son is able to focus and have real, meaningful conversations. Choosing to use medicines for ADD in our home was a difficult one, but it is one that we feel was right for our family. Encourage your kids ministry leadership to consider this as they speak with parents of children who may have ADD.

Jeff Land is Publishing Team Leader for Bible Studies For Life: Kids. He holds a BSW from Mississippi College and a MACE from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Jeff has served as children’s pastor and currently teaches second graders each week at his church. Jeff, his wife Abbey, and their four sons live in Coopertown, TN.

Christmas, Encouragement, Family, Kids Ministry, Leadership

Ministering to Your Family at Christmas

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I remember the first Christmas that I was on church staff in Tennessee. All of our family was back in Mississippi and it also just happened to be a Christmas that fell on Sunday. We were young and had only been married a few years. We didn’t have any children at the time, but it was very lonely. Abbey and I love Christmas and it was hard being away from family. Most of our friends had things to do with their families.

I almost can remember counting the seconds until the invitation time came that Sunday morning and we quickly left once all of the kids had been picked up from Extended Care. We began our 7-hour long trek to Mississippi starving as no restaurants were open. We finally found a fast food restaurant we both loathe and we begrudgingly ate our hamburgers. We knew things would be even more difficult when we had children.

For many of you, your family is far from the location in which God has called you to serve. Here are some ideas I would encourage you to consider as celebrate this Christmas season and feel the pull between your family and your ministry.

  • Involve your children as much as possible, but don’t exhaust them. It’s a common task for the children’s minister to arrange childcare during this season. Some are just required to arrange childcare for the extra services, some have to find childcare for the extra services AND the extra choir rehearsals, but there are even some who have to arrange childcare for the adult Sunday School parties! If you find these responsibilities to be a part of your job, you know how difficult this task is. If you have to be at all of these services, plan ways to involve your kids without making them resentful. Try to find a way for your kids to be able to stay home some and not have to be at the church for hours. If you have to bring your kids with you, try to set up a fun room where just they can hang out. And always stop at McDonald’s on the way and get them a happy meal. Show them that they are special to you.
  • Plan a Christmas outing just for them. I know, I’m suggesting that you plan yet another event. This one is different. It is just for your family. Make it as special as you have time and money. One of my fears for kids of ministers is that they will begin to resent some of the most sacred times in the church because of the required work that their parents have to do. Maybe rent a limo and take your family to look at Christmas lights. Give them an early gift. Help them to know that amidst all of the hustle and bustle of ministry, that you recognize their sacrifice.
  • Take time off. If you are like me, as much as you love Christmas, you are ready to get it all put away after Christmas. It’s tempting to go into the office on those slow days after Christmas and get all reset for the New Year. If your church offices are open the week following Christmas, I would highly encourage you to take vacation time. Don’t go into the office. Don’t check emails. Be present for your family. It will all be OK, I promise.
  • Enjoy Christmas Festivities. After weeks of planning childcare and being at the church, it might be tempting to just duck out to your office during the choir performances, candlelight carols, and hot cocoa parties. Make an effort to enjoy these events with your family. Be a church member.

Jeff Land is Publishing Team Leader for Bible Studies For Life: Kids. He holds a BSW from Mississippi College and a MACE from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Jeff has served as children’s pastor and currently teaches second graders each week at his church. Jeff, his wife Abbey, and their four sons live in Coopertown, TN.

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