Children in Crisis: Ministering to Children in Military Families

“Mommy, when will daddy be here? I want to see daddy!” I overheard a little girl say as I passed through the security gate at the airport. Wondering where daddy had been I stopped to observe for a moment. Finally, “Daddy” turned the corner and cheers of “Daddy, daddy, daddy!” could be heard throughout most of the airport. “Daddy” had come home. With hugs and tears “Daddy” and his daughter embraced. As I watched the scene unfold, I wondered how many “Daddys” and “Mommys” were returning home to their children today.

While we waited for the luggage, I spoke to “Daddy” and thanked him for his service to our country. He informed me he had spent the last 14 months overseas. He said it was a great honor to help protect our country, but also one of the most difficult things he had ever done. He said, “the stress of being in an active military operation was difficult, but the most difficult aspect was having to leave his wife and daughter.”

Being a member of a military family is stressful. Families are separated. Birthdays and special events are missed. The fear of not knowing when or even if a family member will return home takes its toll on the family.

I would venture to say that every church is in some way impacted by military personnel. We as children’s leaders need to be sensitive to the needs of military families and seek to stand with them during the time of their family member’s service. Here’s some things we can do.

First, look for stress in the family. Consider these issues:

·      Aggressive behavior in the children

·      Emotional outbreaks such as crying or shouting

·      Illnesses

·      Lack of ability to eat or sleep

·      Clinging to the parent who is at home

·      Separation anxiety

·      Anger at the parent who is away

·      Anger at God for allowing the parent to serve in the military

·      Worry the parent will not return

·      Inability to focus in school or on other tasks

·      Blaming God or others for allowing the parent to leave

·      Withdrawal from friends

Second, consider what your church can do to minister to military families.

·  Pray for and with military families on a regular basis

· Honor the parents as they return home

· Be careful to not promise things you cannot control

·  Invite family members to share their joys and stresses

·  Provide “Military Families” Parents Night Out

·   Provide assistance with household chores (painting, plumbing, car repairs, lawn mowing, so forth)

·   Provide “Military Families” support groups

·   Write notes of encouragement to the military personnel

·   Provide scholarships for camps and other events so the children can participate if financial support is needed

·   Develop and maintain a “Our Military Families” bulletin board with information about each family

·   Invite the children to share about their family member

·   Provide opportunities for military spouses to get together for encouragement and support

·   Be careful not to talk about war all the time

·   Train and equip children’s leaders in how to deal with military families

·   Listen

Third, be prepared in case of a death or family crisis

·      Develop a “Crisis Emergency” plan of action

·      Know how to help explain the death of the family member to children (there are many resources to help children understand death; consider contacting a local funeral home for assistance)

·      Offer to provide childcare for family members as needed

·      Provide meals

·      Be available – during times of crisis people do not always remember what you say, but they do remember you were there

·      Assist with funeral plans

·      Provide a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen

           Fourth, celebrate when family members return

            ·      Plan a “welcome home” party

            ·      Allow the family time to celebrate together

 A special thank you to each of our military personnel who willingly serve our country. Please know you are prayed for and thought of daily. Also, a special thank you to the families of our military personnel for your sacrifice as well.