Encouraging – Page 3

May 30, 2014

Children of Divorce: Blessed Are The Ones That Grieve (Part 1)

“Those who mourn are blessed, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4, HCSB).

How many children’s leaders have ever thought of the verse in Matthew when a child has lost a parent to death? We hurt for the child who is mourning the loss of a parent. We might swoop in, or be called in, to help the child understand and help them mourn. Food is probably brought in for the family. People talk to the child; pray with the remaining parent and in general we care for this family. But how many of us have ever thought of the verse in Matthew for the child of divorce?

To a child a divorce is the death of a marriage — their parent’s marriage. In most divorcing situations it is the death of the only family life they have ever known. It is a tremendous interruption to their lives. Instead of having two parents that are one unit caring for the child, the child has to learn to deal with two separate individuals going separate directions and living in separate homes. And many times they must cope with arguing and warring parents. Many children are left standing in the middle wondering where they belong and questioning which direction and whom to follow?

What the Church Doesn’t Do

Unlike bereavement in the death of a parent, the child of divorce usually faces this time alone. There are no church people that come in and minister to the child. There are no meals brought in to help during the transition time. Do you realize how much a meal brought in ministers to the child? It says people at church care for him or her.

For the most part the family support system is gone and the community of friends and extended family tend to distance themselves over time leaving the children to navigate the divorce journey alone. They mourn alone. Most children’s church attendance drops after the divorce of their parents. If a child of divorce does attend your church it is usually every other week so the visitation schedule can be accommodated.

One week with dad at dad’s new church and the next week at mom’s church can leave a child questioning their loyalties to a particular group of people. Sometimes these are different denominations. Imagine the confusing thoughts when a child attends different churches:

Do I stand or kneel during the prayers?
Is it okay to raise my hands during the praise time? Or does this church have praise time?
Am I supposed to take part in this communion stuff?
How does all this stuff work?
Is it okay if I wear shorts and t-shirt to this church?
Do I call the man up front a preacher, or a minister, or a priest?

Many times the adults in a child’s life forget to explain things. The parents are divorcing so they talk to lawyers and counselors. They might make appointments with the clergy to discuss their separation and divorce. But whom do the kids talk to when they are struggling just to cope? It can be hard for children to find comfort when they live in between — in limbo so to speak, between two congregations.

Read Part 2 of Children of Divorce: Blessed Are The Ones that Grieve on Thursday, June 5.

Linda Ranson Jacobs has been a children’s ministry director, developed DC4K (DivorceCare for Kids), operated a therapeutic child care, and has extensive experience at successfully accommodating challenging behaviors. She is a leading expert on children of divorce. Linda is featured as an expert on the DivorceCare and the Single & Parenting dvd video series.

Encouraging, Training

April 9, 2014

3 Lies We Tell Our Kids – Part 1

By Jeffrey Reed

Maybe you’ve heard them on Oprah. Perhaps they were thrown into that graduation speech last June. It could be that you’ve even said them yourself — statements that can have a negative impact, especially when we say them to kids. Although they might seem innocent and even inspiring, they can be destructive frameworks for how we, and kids, view God and others. I love to have fun, but no joke here. These are dangerous phrases that so many Christians believe.

Just Follow Your Heart.

I understand the intention behind encouraging someone to do this. We should all realize that when it comes down to it, we have to make our own decisions. Culture will throw suggestions or even mandates at us from every direction. Some are good. Most are bad. So this phrase stems from the idea that we should shut out the cacophony of outside influence and simply “follow our gut.” “Go with your feelings.” “Just follow your heart.” I’m tired of hearing it at elementary school assemblies. It’s sad to say, but I’ve even heard it at a few Christian camps in recent years.

Here’s the problem: The heart is flawed. It has been since the fall of mankind in Eden. Read Jeremiah 17 and then hone in on verse 9. It is pretty clear. Following our heart is akin to, as my former pastor would say, “Driving endlessly on life’s cul-de-sac of stupidity.” Time and time again we demonstrate how corrupt we are. Even if, occasionally, we make the right decision, we run the risk of believing that our way is the best way. Isaiah 55:8-9 declares that God’s ways are always higher than our ways. I wouldn’t want to chance it.

So what of those great heroes in history? What about those people that went against “the flow?” Didn’t they follow their hearts? Some probably did. We don’t ever hear about those who “followed their hearts” but failed miserably. In most cases, I tend to think that most of our great heroes in time didn’t actually follow their hearts, they followed God’s.

In your life and ministry, remind your kids to seek and follow the heart of God, not their own. They should only listen to “that little voice” when it comes from their Creator. In time, that voice might become stronger…but it always has to be His… His heart in us.

Stay tuned for parts 2 and 3 of Lies We Tell Our Kids.

Jeffrey Reed serves as the Director of Kids Ministry for Lifeway. He came to Lifeway with a wide variety of ministry experiences including worship leader, director of children’s ministry, and executive leadership in several growing congregations. Jeffrey’s posts will give your heart and brain a workout, just like the fitness Boot Camp he leads in the mornings for Lifeway employees. Jeffrey and his wife Katherine have 4 kids.

Encouraging, Evangelism, Training

April 5, 2014

Connect Kids to the Great Commission

By Jana Magruder

Kids can participate in God’s great mission in the world. I love hearing about how churches around the nation are becoming more and more passionate about connecting kids to the Great Commission. Here is an article by Anna Sargeant, Director of Children’s curriculum at The Austin Stone Community Church in Austin, TX, about how they spend their summer Sundays teaching kids in their ministry about their part in missions. — Jana magruder

At The Austin Stone Community Church, we wrote a 10-week series on missions for our kids ministry because we wanted our children to know that God is alive and moving on earth. He is saving people all over the world through Jesus, and He is not only working through adults to accomplish His purposes. Kids can be part of God’s great mission in the world. They can change the course of history, not because they are strong and powerful, but because God is strong and powerful.

The series had three main goals:

To teach that God is writing a story throughout history.
To provide a description of the unreached.
To spur the children to action, primarily through prayer and sharing their faith.

To begin, we told the history of redemption:

God chose a people to reveal His greatness to others. (Genesis 12:1-3) They failed at this, but God was faithful to them.
Jesus came and showed God’s greatness perfectly. He died for sin and rose again. He is worthy of everyone’s worship. (Philippians 2:6-11)
God is bringing people into His family through Jesus. (Ephesians 1:5) These people share the good news of Jesus with others.
One day Jesus will come back, and all God’s family will worship Him forever. (Revelation 7:9-10)

We then explained that Jesus will not return until all of God’s family is found (Matthew 24:14). But there are still members of God’s family who have never heard about Jesus! They are called the “unreached.” Nobody is telling them God loves them. They have no way of knowing their sins can be forgiven.

Each week we prayed for different unreached people groups. We asked that God would send people to them, and we told stories of missionaries who have taken the good news of Jesus to particular groups in the past.

It is our prayer that our kids finished this series knowing they can be a part of God’s mission starting today. They can pray for those who don’t know Jesus, both in their city and around the world. They can research unreached people groups. They can share about Jesus with friends and neighbors. They can ask God to show His power to others through healings and miracles. And maybe one day they can carry the good news of Jesus to those who have never heard it!

“As it is written: How beautiful are the feet of those who announce the gospel of good things!” (Romans 10:15, HCSB).

Jana Magruder serves as the Director of Kids Ministry Publishing. Jana brings a wealth of experience and passion for kids ministry, education, and curriculum writing. She and her husband, Michael, along with their three children attend Forest Hills Baptist Church where she teaches The Gospel Project to preteen girls.

Encouraging

April 1, 2014

Hand It Over: Making Generosity a Habit

By Cristy Whitlock

True generosity doesn’t come naturally for many of us — even if we want it to. Often, we hold tightly to what we hold dear. It took a trip to another continent for God to change my heart.

Two years ago I travelled to Africa, and since then, every beat of my heart sounds different. My heart – echoing Christ – compels me to fight for justice, mercy, kindness, orphans, and the poor.

Sometimes I don’t know how to fight for the poor, but God clarifies my questions by telling us to give to others (Matthew 25:31-46, Acts 20:35, 2 Corinthians 8:7). Here’s an excerpt from a study on justice that, along with Scripture, has multiplied my giving:

“Take your hands and squeeze them together right now as tightly as you can. Hold them, if you can, until I tell you to stop, OK? It won’t be too long, just hold them really tight. Really squeeze; really press them together. You know what? That’s exactly what some of us, if not many of us, are doing in our lives. We do this with our money, relationships, and jobs. We wonder why we are a stressed-out culture — it’s because we’re holding tightly to anything and everything we can get our hands on.

DON’T LOOSEN THOSE HANDS. Keep holding them tightly. What I want you to do now while you’re holding really tightly is … just let go. Release your grip and completely relax your hands. Notice how life-giving blood rushes back to your palms and fingers. Sense the change that comes in your breathing and heart rate as you loosen your grip. Consider the difference in your attitude as you stop holding on.”

(From Get Uncomfortable by Todd Phillips)

6 Ideas for Being Generous

Let’s welcome generosity into our homes and make giving a habit. Here are a few ideas of how your family can give to others right now:

Send a shoebox through Operation Christmas Child.
Sponsor a child through Compassion International.
Pass out sandwiches to homeless people in your city.
Invite those without Thanksgiving plans into your home.
Deliver groceries to a family in your neighborhood, and cook together to get to know them.
Start bi-weekly visits to a nursing home.

Will you continue the list with ways that you’re giving?

“This is what the Lord Almighty said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor. Do not plot evil against each other’” (Zechariah 7:9-10, HCSB).

Christmas, Encouraging

December 2, 2013

3 Ways for Families to be Missional during Christmas

By Jana Magruder

Christmas is approaching and churches, in keeping with tradition, will roll-out the red carpet, plan an amazing service and make certain the gospel is presented. Why? Because we as the Church know that people, believers or not, try to make it to a Christmas service, which gives church members a way to invite friends and family and know that they will hear about Christ.

Christmas services are an obvious way for us to encourage the families we serve to be missional during Christmas — invite a friend to church!

What about the not-so-obvious? I want to give you three practical ideas for encouraging those in your ministry to be mission-minded during the Christmas season.

1. Open your home.

Invite neighbors, families from your children’s schools, people you work with — really anyone who needs to be around a family that lives the gospel. Intentionally pray over these invitations to your home and involve your children in your hospitality efforts, such as decorating, baking, and preparing meals. Model how to show others the love of Jesus. Your children are watching!

2. Serve the poor and needy.

Find opportunities to serve as a family in environments that allow your hearts for Christ to shine. This could be a soup kitchen, a nursing home, a shelter — anywhere there is need. Make this not only a tradition during the holidays, but a regular rhythm in your lives.

3. Pray for opportunities.

As 2013 is closing and the start of a new year is looming around the corner, pray as a family that God would open the door for many opportunities to share the gospel with those who do not know Him. Actively pray for people you know and for those you do not know yet. Engage your children in these prayers and before you know it, God will ignite in them a heart for the lost, poor and needy.

Please share other ideas you may have for encouraging families to be missional during Christmas!

Jana Magruder serves as the Director of Kids Ministry Publishing. Jana, her husband, and their three kids moved to Nashville from Austin, Texas where she served as the director of children’s ministry at the west campus of Austin Stone Community Church. Jana brings a wealth of experience and passion for kids, kids ministry, and the local church.

Christmas, Encouraging

November 26, 2013

The KidMin Blues: When Everyone Gets Time Off, but You

By Jana Magruder

For the busy KidMin Leader during the holiday season, it can be easy to feel like you’re on the outside looking in, watching everyone else enjoying the festivities. After all, it’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year! Let your Heart be Light! Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas! Joy to the World! These are the lyrics that run through our heads this time of the year — songs of joy and merriment, fun and ease, peace and love.

But for the KidMin Leader — be that a children’s pastor, minister, or director, a division coordinator, or a head volunteer — we watch everyone indulge in holiday cheer, family-time bliss, and vacation days, while we are holding crying babies who are up too late on Christmas Eve because five volunteers cancelled, chasing sugar-filled kids, and missing out on a distraction-free Worship service.

Here are a few ways to avoid the KidMin Blues during the Christmas Season:

1. Sabbath regularly.

This may not be on Sundays for you — and certainly not during planned festivities you are in charge of — but you still need to rest in the Lord regularly. Commit yourself to this and when it’s your day to take off, truly rest. Spend time in the Word, listen to worship music — even Christmas music — and trust that God is in control, not you.

2. Work hard so you can rest well.

Plan something that you can look forward to after YOUR role is complete. For example, after all the parties, frantic volunteer recruitment, Christmas Eve service, and so on is over — have something planned that is just for you. This may be time with family (even if it’s a little later than everyone else), a vacation, quiet time at home, or fun with friends — keep your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel. When that special time comes, truly engage in that time and be present with the people you love.

3. Know that the fruit of your labor will be blessed.

God has called you to His purposes and He will use every bit of the work and effort you do in His name for His glory. He sees all the extra hours, phone calls, shopping trips, skipped meals, and hours on your feet that no one else does. You are His child and Christmas is for you too — just maybe in a different way.

So, bring the JOY — and delight in the fact that you GET to be the bringer of the joy, setting up experiences for families to know the true joy of Christmas — Jesus!

What other ways can we help one another avoid the KidMin blues at Christmas?

Encouraging, Thanksgiving

November 19, 2013

From Gratitude to Generosity: Thankful Hearts Are Giving Hearts

Thanksgiving is quickly approaching, which is supposed to usher in the Christmas season. However, it seems that in recent years our current culture gets the two celebrations out of order. Christmas music starts in October, decorations are up in November, and the media ads start even sooner. It’s as though Thanksgiving has disappeared; after all, it is not associated with any kind of consumerism. Other than grocery stores and football commercials, the media and marketplace could care less about this special day.

Of course for the Christian, Christmas is a BIG day – celebration of the coming of Christ, our Savior. Yes, Jesus is more important than the pilgrims. However, the order of Thanksgiving coming first is a beautiful way to prepare our hearts for the Christmas season – especially when teaching children the importance of gratitude.

Gratitude is defined as the feeling of being grateful or thankful. We can teach kids what the Bible says in Colossians 2:6-7, “Therefore, as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, overflowing with gratitude.” If our children are overflowing with thankfulness to God for Jesus and for all the blessings that come from him, their little hearts are primed to turn gratitude into generosity.

This year, let’s help kids start with gratitude and use that as a way for them to see all that God pours out to us through His Son; then as a response – give back to others, counting the act of giving better than receiving.

Encouraging, Thanksgiving

November 18, 2013

Helping Preschoolers Celebrate the Season

Nothing is more fun than welcoming in the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons with a preschooler. Joy abounds with this age-group, so it is the perfect opportunity for us as KidMin leaders and/or parents to use this special time as a way to teach preschoolers about Jesus. Here are some of my favorite ways to celebrate the season with this age group:

1. Create a Thankful Tree.

Grab some twigs and small sticks from the yard and place them in a vase to create a “Thankful Tree.” Use construction paper to make simple leaf shapes, punch a hole in each, and then use yarn or string to make ornaments. Keep a basket of empty “leaves” ready to go and encourage preschoolers to write or draw something they are thankful for to hang on the Thankful Tree.

2. Make treats for others.

Kids of all ages love to work in the kitchen — especially preschoolers! Baking treats can be especially meaningful when you’re doing so for others. Perhaps a neighbor needs some cheer or a teacher would be blessed by a basket full of baked goods. Whatever it is, allow kids to be a part of blessing others.

3. Decorate with Christmas music.

When its time to decorate, play some Christmas music and sing about Jesus. Use this as an opportunity to show how to worship our God for sending His Son to us.

4. Participate in service projects.

There is no shortage of ways to serve the community during the holiday season. One idea is to find a ministry that needs toy donations and allow preschoolers to shop for someone else. Use this as a way to teach generosity and curb the appetite for consuming gifts.

5. Use Advent to tell the gospel.

There are multiple curriculums and teaching plans that show how to use the Advent season to tell the Gospel of Jesus from the very beginning. Allow your Thankful Tree to become an Advent tree (or Jesse tree) and create ornaments that tell the story of “the coming” of Christ.

I pray that you won’t miss one opportunity to help preschoolers celebrate the season and ultimately celebrate our Savior!

Jana Magruder serves as the Director of Kids Ministry Publishing at Lifeway. Jana, her husband, and their three kids moved to Nashville from Austin, Texas where she served as the director of children’s ministry at the west campus of Austin Stone Community Church.

Children of Divorce: Blessed Are The Ones That Grieve (Part 1)

3 Lies We Tell Our Kids – Part 1

Connect Kids to the Great Commission

Hand It Over: Making Generosity a Habit

3 Ways for Families to be Missional during Christmas

The KidMin Blues: When Everyone Gets Time Off, but You

From Gratitude to Generosity: Thankful Hearts Are Giving Hearts

Helping Preschoolers Celebrate the Season

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