Preteen

October 12, 2020

5 Lessons I’ve Learned Teaching Preteens Through the Years

I’ve been involved in kids ministry for way more years than I can remember. I do remember the first opportunity I had as a church member to get involved with teaching though. My church had need for someone to assist in a preteen ministry. I filled that role and quickly knew that this could be my sweet spot in ministry. Ministry to preteens is always challenging but also one of the most rewarding for me. Here are a few things I’ve learned about preteens over the years.

Preteens are not miniature adults. The preteen years are a push and pull of trying to find a voice in the world and still hold on to childhood. The brain of a preteen has not matured enough to process the realities of a grown up world. As leaders in preteen ministry we should be cautious when trying to push their square pegs of childhood into the round hole of adulthood.

Preteens are changing. Most kids in the preteen age group begin the process known as puberty. During this time their bodies are changing dramatically and some of them are scared of what is happening. The chemicals that drive the physiological change toward adulthood also affect things like brain function, mental acuity and drive. It is entirely possible that during this time of change you will minister to two “different” kids in the same body during the same hour. Smile, it’s okay.

Preteens are emotional. Points 1 and 2 lead us to the conclusion that preteens are emotional. Wrapped up in the physiological changes and the desire to find their place in the world, preteens can be crushed under the emotional stress of these factors. Those emotions can manifest themselves in many ways. It’s okay for preteens to appropriately express their emotions in our safe environment. If you need to have a chat one on one with a preteen to help decompress some of those emotions, do so with love and respect.

Preteens are compassionate. One of the more unique things I’ve discovered about preteens is that they really are compassionate, even if they don’t want to show it. Preteens are able to communicate on levels differently from younger kids. Conversations with preteens can get deeper and more personal and during those times we discover the true compassionate nature of their hearts.

Preteens are honest. I cannot count the number of times I’ve been questioned by a preteen on any variety of subjects. During puberty, their brains begin to process information in a very different way and they are constantly evaluating what is happening around them. If something doesn’t line up with the paradigm of their perceived truth, they don’t mind speaking up. Are they always right? No. But it does give opportunity to talk about what is true and right.

Ministry to preteens is valuable and rewarding and can be one of the richest experiences in leading kids. Understanding that preteens are experiencing life in fresh and new ways for them, will guide you as you help them navigate this awkward but important journey.

Encouragement, Family, Family Ministry, Kids Ministry, Parent Helps, Parenting, Preschool, Preteen

January 27, 2020

30 Things Parents Should Say to Their Kids

By Brian Dembowczyk

Words matter. The words parents use have great power to give life to their kids. Here are 30 life-giving things parents should consider saying to their kids on a regular basis.

In the Book of James we read that the tongue, although quite small, can do great things. We are also warned to control the tongue, because it can just as easily do terrible things (James 3:2-12). When we think of controlling the tongue, we often think of stopping it from saying harmful things, but sometimes the greatest harm a parent’s tongue can do is to be still. It’s not enough for kids not to hear life-taking words, they also need to hear life-giving words. Here are 30 life-giving things parents should consider saying to their kids on a regular basis.

I love you.
God loves you.
I will always love you no matter what, because you are my son/daughter.
You are a blessing, a gift from God.
I am proud of you.
I am glad that you are my son/daughter.
If God would have let me choose whomever I wanted to be my son/daughter, I would have chosen you.
When you grow up, you can be whatever God calls you to be.
You matter because you matter to God.
You can tell me anything, and I will listen.
God wants you to make much of Him right now wherever you are in whatever you do.
I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?
I forgive you.
I trust you.
I like who you are.
Mistakes happen.
God forgives.
Trust in Christ.
What are you reading about in your Bible?
What are you talking to God about when you pray?
You are an image bearer of God, a person of infinite worth.
Why you do what you do matters as much as what you do.
How can I pray for you?
Have fun and laugh today.
You have my total attention.
What do you think?
(Grades, sports, etc.) is not most important; God is.
Let’s do that together.
You give me joy.
Yes.

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to Lifeway. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Preteen

August 19, 2019

3 Keys for Equipping Preteens in Your Ministry

By Jeremy Carroll

Can we just agree that working with preteens can be challenging? OK, OK, that was a bit tongue-in-cheek. But seriously, preteens are facing issues today that previous generations didn’t face until they were in their mid- to late- teenage years. On top of that, this generation of preteens faces a unique challenge from previous generations with their instant access to information and social circles. This “always-on” pressure adds a layer of challenge to preteens’ lives that can, in turn, make engaging and equipping preteens for the future challenging for ministry leaders and parents.

As kids move into their preteen years, their faith is going to be tested. Not all that long ago, for example, a child who was being bullied may only have faced that bully while at school or in the neighborhood. Now with ever-present, always-on devices at their fingertips, preteens may find themselves with the inability to escape a bully. Constant stressors like this from life’s circumstances, peers, and the culture at-large are pressing in and straining the faith of many preteens. For me, this sparks a mental image of gold being refined by fire. Preteens are often caught in and shaped by the flames of life’s circumstances and relationships, but preteens need the church to be strategic in equipping them for what they are facing, to help them refine their faith according to God’s Word, and to prepare them to understand and interact with the world around them with a biblical worldview.

“You rejoice in this, even though now for a short time, if necessary, you suffer grief in various trials so that the proven character of your faith—more valuable than gold which, though perishable, is refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:6-7 CSB).

Preteens are facing many trials, yet they may not know how to stand firm in those trials so their faith may result in honoring God. Part of our responsibility as ministry leaders and parents is to show them how to stand firm. Here are three keys to help strengthen your ministry to preteens through Bible study.

Key 1: Deeper Study

Preteens have the ability and desire to move from Bible stories to Bible study. As church leaders, we can help move them toward opening their Bibles and exploring longer passages. Challenge them to think critically about what the Bible is saying, seeing more of the context of each test within a chapter, a book, and the Bible as a whole. Help them see that it is OK to ask hard questions humbly as they study God’s Word.

Key 2: Engaging Conversations

After seeing what the Bible says, engage preteens in meaningful conversations about what the biblical text says. Help them think through “Since the Bible says ______, but my friends say _______, how can I understand what my friends say through the filter of what I know the Bible teaches.” Preteens, despite the stereotype, do enjoy talking. They may struggle as they move from “kid-friendly” vocabulary toward “student” vocabulary, but give them the opportunity to express their thoughts and engage them in dialogue.

Key 3: Life Action

In light of the deeper Bible study and honest dialogue, help preteens consider “What’s next?” How does what I read in the Bible change my response to my friends? How does what I read in the Bible change the way I pray for those at my school? These types of life action questions can help move preteens toward a renewed mind and living out their faith.

Lifeway Kids is excited to introduce Forged: Faith Refined, a brand new preteen study built on these 3 key principles for preteen ministry. Forged: Faith Refined is a low-tech, 8-volume resource released quarterly over two years. Each volume includes 13 weeks of age-appropriate study to help preteens understand biblical answers to questions they may be asking and leading them to engage the culture around them through a biblical worldview. Volume 1 explores the question “What is truth?” through sessions like “Who defines truth?” and “Why should I care what the Bible says?” Upcoming volumes will discuss themes of identity, authority, relationships, and more.

Join us as we set out to equip preteens to face their world with strengthened faith through Forged: Faith Refined. Learn more at lifeway.com/forged.

Jeremy Carroll is the team leader for Lifeway Kids Discipleship Resources. Before coming to Lifeway, he has been active in local church ministry for nearly 20 years in TN, TX, and AL. Jeremy earned a Master of Arts in Christian Education from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. A Middle Tennessee native, he and his family live in Murfreesboro, TN.

Encouragement, Family, Kids Ministry, Preteen, Resources

January 23, 2018

The Bully Situation: Bully or Bullied

By Jeff Land

I’ve never been popular. In fact, I would probably say that I’m more liked now than I ever was as a child. I had a few friends, but I just wasn’t the most popular kid. I was an easy target. I wasn’t athletic and I did pretty well in school. I didn’t hit a growth spurt until I was in my late teens. At times, I was bullied. Probably due to certain personality traits, I was able to endure bullying with relative ease.

My situation is not true for everyone. Many kids really struggle with bullying and I totally understand why. Having your peers attack your worth as a human being is demeaning and crippling.

As I have gotten older, I feel like I’ve come to understand bullying from different angles. I can think back to situations where I was clearly bullied, but also I am ashamed to admit I can think of times where I was a bully.

If you think about it, there are probably those situations for you in your life. I think that we all have some level of bully in us, and if we are willing to admit it, there have been times that we have felt bullied. The smart person can bully the person who understands things more slowly. The athletic person can bully the person who just isn’t interested in sports. The theologian can bully the a person of opposing views.

We would love to introduce you to “Bully or Bullied” by FLYTE. It’s a great resource for helping your preteens understand the impact of bullying in hopes that they will be more able to cope with bullying in the future. Using solid biblical teaching, preteens will learn about people in the Bible who were both bullies and bullied. This resource is available digitally and can be downloaded today!

Jeff Land is Publishing Team Leader for Bible Studies For Life: Kids. He holds a BSW from Mississippi College and a MACE from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Jeff has served as children’s pastor and currently teaches second graders each week at his church. Jeff, his wife Abbey, and their four sons live in Coopertown, TN.

Devotional, Kids Ministry, Preteen, Resources

November 29, 2016

Devotional Giveaway

By Cristy Whitlock

Once or twice a week, you meet with kids face-to-face, speaking into their development as disciples. You know they are growing spiritually, but imagine the exponential growth that could take place if they make it a priority to spend daily time in the Word.

This week, we’re hosting a giveaway to help you equip kids to study the Bible on a daily basis. Enter below for a chance to win 20 copies of devotions for three different age groups. See the images and downloads below for details on devos.

Download a preview of the More devotion.

More is a 28-page monthly devotional designed to help kids ages 4-7 develop a habit of daily Bible reading. Each devo includes 10-minute devotions, prayers, and fun Bible-learning activities.

Download a preview of the Adventure devotion.

Adventure engages kids ages 7–10 and cultivates the disciplines of daily Bible reading and spending time with God. The content is designed to invite today’s media-savvy kids to have a daily relationship-building experience with God. Each devo includes fun facts, puzzles, and games.

Download a preview of the boys’ side of the Bible Express devotion.

Download a preview of the girls’ side of the Bible Express devotion.

Bible Express is designed for ages 10 and up. Each issue is produced in a flip-book style with separate sections for boys and girls that is made up of fun facts, puzzles, missionary kid stories, and games. Kids will carry this cool, magazine-style devo everywhere they go.

You could win 20 copies each of More, Adventure, and Bible Express. Click here to enter the giveaway.

Update: This giveaway has closed. Congratulations to our winner, Cathy Scharf!

Media, Preteen, Resources, Sunday School

August 22, 2016

Farewell to Mayflower

By Jeff Land

For many Bible Studies For Life: Kids fans, you’ve come to know and love the kids at Mayflower Elementary School over the past three years. It’s been a fun cycle, but those kids have grown up and it is time for them to take Middle School by storm. This Fall, we are introducing a new line-up of awesome life application videos called “Gumshoe Lane Agency.” We are thrilled to introduce you to Juniper and Chuck, the detectives who will go to great lengths to find out the real answers to life’s questions.

Before we bid farewell to the Mayflower kids in the last session of the Summer 2016 Bible Studies For Life: Kids curriculum, we had the opportunity to talk to the people who created the series, including some of the talented cast that made up the Mayflower team.

Enjoy this documentary from the creators of the Mayflower series, SeventhStory Productions.

Jeff Land is Publishing Team Leader for Bible Studies For Life: Kids. He hold a BSW from Mississippi College and a MACE from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Jeff has served as children’s pastor and currently teaches second graders each week at his church. Jeff, his wife Abbey, and their four sons live in Coopertown, TN.

Kids Ministry, Leadership, Preteen

August 15, 2016

Best Ways to Reach the Hearts of Preteen Girls

By Jana Magruder

I have just had the privilege of graduating out of raising a preteen girl who is now into her teen years. As I reflect back on my experience with her, as well as teaching preteen girls in my church, I believe these are some of the best ways to truly reach out to girls in this fun, yet sometimes tricky, stage of life. If you work with preteen girls, keep these tips in mind.

Get Crafty: Generally speaking, preteen girls love to be hands-on with art supplies and create together. I have found that if I showed up and did not have a craft planned for the group of girls I taught, then they were surely disappointed. I quickly realized that the crafts didn’t even have to be complicated. They enjoyed even more juvenile things like stickers and glitter. The point is, they enjoyed creating and working with their hands—and the beauty of this strategy is that they listened and participated more when they were engaged in crafting.
Be Relational: Again, generally speaking—girls like to talk and they like to be heard. I always try to learn something new about kids each time I see them. Preteen girls love to know that you remembered the test they were worried about, or that they were going to see a play. Ask questions, know their families, remember things about them. Help them feel known.
Teach Deep: Preteen girls are ready to learn deeper doctrine. They ask really good questions and can handle theological truths. This can be a lot of fun, but you will need to do your homework! I learned more about the Bible while teaching this age group than I have in some of my seminary classes. Why? Because they asked me questions that I had to scramble to search the Scriptures and find to satisfy their need to know more about the Lord.
Give Gifts: Ok, so you don’t need to break the bank, but have some ideas for small gifts and gestures that you can give for various times: birthdays, holidays, end of school celebrations, etc. Even hand-written notes, cookies, gum, or fun pencils can be a way of saying, “I care about you.” Encourage them to love one another by showing how much you love them. Simple gifts can help show that!
Serve Together: Find ways for preteen girls to serve together in some capacity. Look for opportunities in the church and community or create goody bags for a nursing home, bring canned goods for a food bank. Pray for groups of people. Preteen girls have big hearts—show them that God can use their empathy and heart for others to serve Him.

Ultimately, you are making disciples out of these dear ones. Be a safe adult who is speaking into their lives by meeting them right where they are and teaching them God’s Word faithfully. Model what it looks like to be someone who loves Jesus and loves His Church. Preteen girls are at just the right age to learn more than they ever have about their Maker while having lots of fun together!

“I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

Jana Magruder serves as the Director of Lifeway Kids. She is a Baylor graduate and offers a wealth of experience and passion for kids ministry, education, and publishing. She is the author of Kids Ministry that Nourishes and Life Verse Creative Journal, which she co-authored with her teenage daughter. She and her husband, Michael, along with their three children reside in Nashville.

Kids Ministry, Leadership, Preteen

July 25, 2016

Moving Up to Middle School

By Kids Ministry 101

Big changes are coming for rising middle schoolers and their families! They’re saying goodbye to Elmo, cubbies, and in-school parties and hello to pimples, puberty, and peer pressure. The excitement and anxiety are building as children take that huge step to middle school. Share these three tips with families of rising middle schoolers in your ministry:

Brave New World

Your kids will be experiencing several firsts as they pass through the doors of their new academic home. Help your child get comfortable with his new digs by scoping out the lay of the land. Find out how the school is organized, and ask for a tour with an older student or school personnel. Give your child the opportunity to get his bearings so he’ll feel at ease locating classes, the library, the gym, and cafeteria. Secondly, get a copy of your child’s class schedule and map out the places you’ve checked out. Tape this inside her binder. You also may want to note landmarks to jog her memory when navigating. Lastly, before school starts, buy your child a lock for her locker to give her plenty of time to practice opening and closing it.

Finding Friends

Part of your preteen wants to grasp your hand for security while the other hand reaches ahead toward more independence. Being part of a group in the new school is essential. While he searches for his identity, encourage your child to take time deciding where he belongs before keying in on a particular bunch. Since middle school offers more opportunities for extracurricular activities, advise your child to join sports teams, clubs, or other events to help ease the social transition. Alleviate loneliness in the interim by arranging weekend activities with church, neighborhood, or grade-school friends. Give a little guidance on the social graces of group conversation; for example, demonstrate how to add something relevant to a conversation in progress without interrupting. Remind him to make eye contact when speaking or listening and tell him how words and actions can affect other people.

Upping the Stakes

Academic expectations increase in middle school. Students will have multiple teachers covering different subjects with less coddling. Your parental role shouldn’t change much. Take a look at the planner with assignments and make sure homework is completed, communicate with teachers, and help your child get organized. Develop a system for schoolwork and supplies. Create a binder or folder for each class so all notes and assignments will be readily available. Designate a study time and place that is free from distractions and where schoolwork should be finished each day.

Remember: while those first few weeks of adjustment can be nerve-wracking, keep an open dialogue as your child embraces another stage of maturity.

Bill Conger is a school counselor, member of Smithville First Baptist Church, a Gideon, and father of a 10-year-old son and 20-year-old daughter. Bill contributes regularly to ParentLife magazine where this and other great articles can be found.

CentriKid, Evangelism, Events, Kids Ministry, kids101, Podcasts, Preteen, Vacation Bible School

November 13, 2015

The Importance of the Mountain Top Experience

By Kids Ministry 101

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Google Podcasts | RSS

Most followers of Jesus begin their journey during or following a “mountain-top” experience. Many believers are reminded of the essence of their journey when they have one. Most of the people in scripture, including Jesus, had unique experiences when they “went away” and spent time with the Lord.

Why wouldn’t every KidMin leader want to provide these catalytic opportunities for kids?

Jeremy Echols engages in a compelling conversation into why mountain-top experiences should be a regular part of the the rhythm of every healthy kids ministry.

Key points from this insightful podcast:

The nature and importance of a “mountain-top” experience
The positive impact on leaders while they lead kids at camp and VBS
A Brief overview of CentriKid camps, VBS events, and ETCH.

If you are interesting in these amazing events for kids and leaders, you can click on one of the links above.

In 2016, we will be launching the ETCH Conference, a great new opportunity for leaders and volunteers in all areas of children’s ministry. You can bring the entire church family ministry team or come on your own. In either case, it will be a great mountain-top experience for you!

JE (@coachechols) leads the @centrikid camps and events team for Lifeway Kids. He met his wife Emily working summer camp, they serve in the kids area on Sunday’s at church, and they are blessed with their daughter #BabyMadison who was born in 2011.

Encouragement, Kids Ministry, Parenting, Preteen, Small Groups

October 29, 2015

Ministering to the Minister’s Kids

By Bill Emeott

I wasn’t a PK (Preacher’s Kid) but I was a DK (Deacon’s Kid) and the PKs and the DKs hung out together a lot. I know from watching my PK friends that being the minister’s kids can be difficult. The minister’s kid sometimes gets a bad rap and sometimes even a pretty raw deal. Here are some thoughts on how to minister to the minister’s kid effectively:

Allow your minister to put his family first. Nurturing and building relationships with family takes effort, energy, and time. Your minister needs to know that he has permission to be the spouse and parent God intends. Allow your minister to set the standard for your church.
Treat their parent with love and respect. Most kids think their dad (or mom) is the greatest! Their relationship with parents is often the basis for their relationship with the heavenly Father. It’s amazing how many ministers’ kids become disillusioned with God because of the way the church treated their parent.
Allow your minister’s kids to be human. The minster’s kids are just like any other kids. They have good days and bad days. They enjoy some things more than others. They want to be treated like the rest of the group.
Offer a helping hand. Have you ever noticed that when your minister is at church they are pretty busy? Have you noticed that during worship your minister’s kids might need some extra love? Offer to sit with your minister’s family when needed.
Offer to be adopted grandparents. Every kid needs to be spoiled rotten by their grandparents, yet many of our ministers’ kids live a long way from their extended family and don’t get that opportunity. Consider adopting your minister’s kids a couple times a year for some VIP treatment.
Give gifts that include your minister’s kids. Ministers often receive gifts of appreciation during the year. Consider giving a family-inclusive gift like theme park passes, a zoo membership, gift cards to a local movie theater, or tickets to special events in your community.
Recognize the kids’ sacrifice to the church. On special occasions, celebrations, milestones, and anniversaries, acknowledge the entire family’s service and sacrifice. Kids often share their parent during evenings and weekends because of church ministries and needs. Recognize and appreciate their part in ministry.
Talk with the kids about themselves. Speak to the kids, not just the minister. Resist the urge to always bring up their parent and church stuff. Take the time to discover their interests and have conversations with them about them. Find ways to make them feel special.
Take your minister and his family to lunch. The next time you take your minister and his family for a meal, ask his kids to pick the restaurant.
Make your minister’s kids feel valued. Look for opportunities to encourage, congratulate, and dote over your minister’s kids. Celebrate good grades, recitals, sports games, and school achievements.

Since 2003 Bill Emeott has served as a Kids Ministry Specialist for Lifeway. His passions include childhood ministry leadership training and development, leading children’s Bible Study, and being an uncle! Bill has been teaching children at First Baptist Nashville for ten years.