Dedicated to helping Kids Ministry leaders in their mission of making disciples
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Dr. Jennifer Garrison shares how families can navigate bullying with age-appropriate conflict resolution.
Dr. Garrison is a professor of marriage and family in the Campbellsville University School of Theology. She is a wife, mother of two sons, and advocate for healthy, God-honoring families.
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We all know life gets messy, and as we minister to families these hurts appear in our ministries. In this episode, Heidi Hensley, Director of Children’s Ministry at Shadow Mountain Community Church, stops by the podcast to discuss the most common hurts we encounter as we minister to parents and kids, and how we can best respond to them in a Godly way while empowering parents to be key leaders in their child’s spiritual life.
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Today’s guest is Sam Luce, Children’s Pastor at Redeemer Church in Utica, NY. This conversation is all about discipleship. Discipleship should not primarily be viewed through a programmatic lens. Discipleship is a process and journey of becoming more like Jesus. We must recognize that in order to be a discipler, we must first, be a disciple. Sam & Chuck unpack how this reality impacts how we lead kids and parents in our ministries.
Young families no longer choose churches according to denomination. Nor do today’s parents always choose churches according to family ties. They tend to choose churches according to the way the needs of their kids are being met! In recent days I have gathered the following list of parents’ “must haves” when it comes to deciding to be affiliated with a certain kids’ ministry. Take a look and evaluate where your kids ministry might rank in parents’ eyes. Today’s parents are “demanding consumers.” They want excellence.
Any of these parent’s concerns need a little help/work on your part? Commit today to making progress in one of these areas.
Jerry Vogel serves as an Editorial Ministry Specialist for LifeWay Kids. He is married to Janie and has four children and thirteen grand kids. Jerry is committed to enriching the lives of those who teach kids as well as making eternal investments in the lives of children
Last month I shared a post: Connecting with Families. This post is a “next step” because I’m sure that part of our ministry to kids is providing leadership, encouragement, and training to parents and families. After all, the influence parents have over their kids is far more reaching than the 2-3 hours we share with them at church.
In Connection with Families I suggested that there are three areas in which we can concentrate to effectively connect with kids and their families. I’m going to use those same three categories to offer suggestions you might share with parents on helping to connect Bible truths and stories taught at church, at home.
Connect Traditionally. Just because our parents did it doesn’t mean it’s no longer valid and won’t work in families today. Think back on ways your parents helped you connect Bible truths to everyday life and offer those suggestions to the parents in your ministry. Here’s a few traditional ways you might suggest:
Connect Intentionally. Personally, I miss a lot of opportunities because I don’t intentionally set out to take advantage of my daily routines. I think most families are very busy and don’t see where they have time to connect with their kids. Encourage families to consider taking advantage of things they’re already doing and intentionally connect. Here are a few that I’ve thought of:
Connect Technologically. For kids, technology is just part of everyday life. They have always had it and will forever use it. While technology should never take the place of face-to-face, human-to-human contact, here are some ways that might help families connect using 21st century technology:
The sky’s the limit! Get creative and offer suggestions to help parents make spiritual connections at home.
I began this post with a little background and a couple influencers (Technology and Social Media). Take a look back at Part 1 if you missed it. I’m picking up with influencer #3.
3. Changing Families: Today’s families look a lot different than the families many of us grew up in. Quite frankly, today’s families look a lot different than we wish they looked. Divorce continues to affect around 50% of marriages (there seems to be no difference for churched families) and the divorce rate escalates for 2nd and 3rd marriages. Blended families are the norm, and dual custody often leads to kids who attend every other week. Multi-generational families are increasing with grandparents having more and more influence and responsibility for raising their grandchildren. Parents today tend to be over protective, over indulgent, overly permissive, and they find their own social status in their kids and the activities in which they push them to be involved. Our communities (our Jerusalems) are full of all types of families. Not just ones that look like ours or fit a particular stereotype. Our command is to reach them all.
4. Religious Plurality: There seems to be a tendency toward religious pluralism and a tolerance and acceptance for a “whatever works for you” theology. Additionally (and unfortunately), a strong belief in Christ and a practice of His teachings is being equated to bigotry and intolerance. Researchers are reporting that as little as 15% of millennials claim to be Christian and that Islam and Mormonism are the fastest growing religions in the US. It seems to me that we had better be putting a lot of our time and energy into teaching kids not only what to believe, but why they believe it! It’s not going to be enough to simply teach Bible stories; we must help kids know how to defend what they believe to those who might challenge them. I worry that we may not be preparing our kids for the reality and future they may face.
Tomorrow morning I’ll post the final installment. Check back then for influencers 5-7.
From time to time I hear fellow kids ministers say, “Kids Ministry would be great if all we had to do was deal with kids!” So true! However, those in kids ministry quickly learn that along with those kids come parents, families, and leaders. A great percentage of our time is actually spent with adults.
Today, let’s talk about parents. Today’s parents are very busy, possibly over scheduled, and they practice a lot of “helicopter parenting.” They hover over their kids, rescue their kids from many learning experiences, and from time to time have tunnel vision related to their kids weaknesses.
When dealing with difficult parents (which, by the way, any of us can be diffiult at times!) consider these options:
1. When confronted by an angry parent:
Try this: Remember that Scripture teaches that a soft answer turns away wrath. (Proverbs 15:1)
Not That: Argue and attempt to justify your own actions/decisions.
2. Once you have learned that a certain parent can be a challenge:
Try This: Pray for these parents by name. Let them know that you have prayed for them in a positive way.
Not That: Distance yourselves from these parents and avoid them.
3. When talking with parents about a child’s challenging behavior:
Try This: Make the parents aware that you love their child, are glad he is in your ministry, but, let them know that when he chooses to “_______”, you are having trouble knowing what to do. Ask them, “What do you do?”
Not That: State that the child is disruptive and he can never come back to church activities!
4. When parents and families are in the midst of a crisis:
Try This: Just be there for them!
Not That: Feel like you have to preach a sermon and know every Bible verse that deals with that crisis.
