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Kids Ministry

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Encouragement, Kids Ministry

When Good Comes from Bad

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5 Good Things God Might Bring from COVID-19

The COVID-19 pandemic is bad. This deadly virus is preying on the most vulnerable among us, wreaking havoc on people’s lives, and jeopardizing the world’s economy. And yet, from this great evil, God may just bring greater good. 

“You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result​—the survival of many people.” (Genesis 50:20 CSB)

In 121 characters—what would be a brief tweet—Joseph provides us with one of the most beautiful and important verses about God’s sovereignty and how God can bring good from anything—even evil. What Joseph’s brothers did was evil, but God is not stymied in His pursuit of bringing glory to Himself and good to His people by anything, including evil. It’s a message that we need to take to heart always, but even more so now in the confusing days we are in. 

The COVID-19 pandemic continues to march its way across the globe, leaving dead, sick, bewildered, confused, frightened, and unemployed people in its wake. This should go without saying, but there is nothing good about COVID-19 in and of itself. It is evil—it is contrary to God’s design, a result of sin’s impact on the world. But as we see in the last quarter of the Book of Genesis and even more clearly on the cross, God is capable of bringing good out of even the greatest evil. COVID-19 is no match for God’s glory. Here are five ways God might bring incredible good from the incredible bad of COVID-19. 

  1. COVID-19 has given us the opportunity to slow down. This is perhaps the first opportunity we have begun to see. We are all spending a lot more time at home and many of life’s usual distractions have vanished—sports, entertainment, etc. The result is that we have been forced to slow down. While this is a struggle for many people right now, we need to pray that we take advantage of this opportunity and learn from it. We are all too busy. Life is too fast. We multitask too much. Perhaps we are now seeing that life should be less of a brisk race and more of a leisurely walk because a virus has hit the brakes on each of our lives.

  2. COVID-19 has given us the opportunity to reconsider priorities. While people have hoarded toilet paper, it has been encouraging to see sacrifice displayed even more. Remember that sheltering in place is not because COVID-19 is highly lethal for everyone, but rather for the most vulnerable among us. We are sheltering not for our good, but for the good of others. And that is beautiful. We have seen generosity—people and businesses sharing abundantly. And social distancing has helped even the staunchest of introverts appreciate relationships as never before. Needing a global pandemic to help us reconsider our priorities—what really matters—might be extreme, but what an important lesson we are learning.

  3. COVID-19 has given us the opportunity to innovate ministry. Remember when ministry was consistent—reliable—comfortable? Not any more. COVID-19 has forced us all to innovate new ways to minister. We are all scrambling for ways to care for kids, and to continue teaching God’s Word. It’s still early, but as days stretch into weeks of not being able to gather and weeks potentially stretch into months, we will need to innovate even more, such as ways to baptize new believers and celebrate the Lord’s Supper. Is this challenging? Sure. Is it difficult? You bet. But is it good? Without a doubt. Some of us may have been too comfortable before. Some of us may have been stale. Some of us may have wanted to innovate but we were too busy or too afraid to even try. But now, we have not just been allowed to innovate and get creative, we have been forced to. And that’s good.

  4. COVID-19 has given us the opportunity to strengthen families. We all know that kids ministry is vital, but family discipleship is more so. We know that God has designed the home to be the primary arena for discipleship. And we want it to be. We want to help families make it that. But, again, because of the frantic pace of ministry, most of us have not been able to prioritize family discipleship. We have given it our leftovers. Not today. Now this gets our first fruits. And we are already seeing family discipleship begin to thrive. Both the home and the church will be stronger when this is all said and done. Thanks to a virus.

  5. COVID-19 has given us the opportunity to develop leaders. There will be a day when “normal” returns. Sure, because of innovation, normal will not be quite like what it was before. It shouldn’t be. But kids ministry after COVID-19 will look more like it did before COVID-19 than it does now during COVID-19. Our programs and events will get back up and running. And what will they all need—what do we tend to struggle with the most in kids ministry? That’s right, leaders. We have too few leaders and those we have are often worn out. Not only are our leaders getting a rest, have you thought about what else is going on right this moment? As families amp up discipleship, many using the curriculum resources that normally are used by teachers, we are giving dads and moms, grandfathers and grandmothers, guardians and older siblings experience, and, may we pray, passion for kids ministry. People who have not served are learning to serve and even growing in desire to serve. What a gift! Right now, kids ministers need to be lining up our “asks” and preparing new leader training for when this is all over. God willing, we will see a shower of prepared, enthusiastic new leaders jump into ministry with joy, wanting to continue what they have been doing in the home during a pandemic. 

COVID-19, we will rejoice when you are gone, but may we rejoice more in how God might advance the gospel through you. 

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to LifeWay. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Easter, Kids Ministry, Kids Ministry Curriculum

Family Easter Event

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As COVID-19 has forced churches to forgo meeting on campuses forcing kids ministries to cancel egg hunts, programs, and other critical ministry events, many kids ministry leaders are wondering what to do for Easter. How can we serve our families and communities during such an important time of the year? The Gospel Project wants to help with a free ministry resource.

This time when so many families are home round the clock has made ministry challenging, but perhaps we can find a silver lining in it. What if we saw this as an opportunity for us as kids ministry leaders to serve the family in a unique way and provide a Resurrection experience that we probably could not do otherwise? What if we provided five online gatherings for us to serve our families in the home during Easter week? Not five Sundays of teaching kids. Not a one morning egg hunt event—but five opportunities within eight days to connect with our kids and families, bringing us together with them and them together with one another.

That is what the 2020 Family Easter Event is all about. This Family Easter Event will allow you to walk through the story of Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection as it happened during the week. You will begin with the Triumphal Entry the Sunday before Easter. You will celebrate the Lord’s Supper on Thursday, then the crucifixion, resurrection, and appearances of Jesus in the order they occurred.

5 Steps to Getting Started

  1. Download the free resources. Below you will find everything you need for this event—PDFs and MP4 files that you can imbed in your gathering teaching times. Share the Activity Pages with your families and encourage them to print them in advance.
  2. Schedule the event. Try to choose the same time for each day’s gathering. Early evening may be the perfect time just before or after family dinner, but with so many families home all week, you could do something mid-day too.
  3. Determine how you will gather with your families. Facebook offers a great opportunity to create an event, invite your families to attend, and then either use Facebook Live as you share with families, or show a pre-recorded video. But there are many other options out there such as Zoom and Google Hangouts. Determine your method and let your families know.
  4. Plan each teaching time. While the leader guide was designed for weekly small group gatherings, you should be able to adapt it easily for this event. Consider starting with the Activity Page, then explain the events leading up to that day’s session. Show the Bible Story video, and then use the prompts from the Leader Guides to explain what families just saw. Show the Key Passage (a memory verse) and use one of the Key Passage activities to help families learn that verse. Wrap up by showing the Questions from Kids video and encourage families to discuss the question posed back to them as a family as they can also use the family discussion starter ideas on the Activity Pages for further conversation. That’s just a starting point. You can consider including other activities and elements as you desire.
  5. Consider the “icing on the cake”. Consider any other ways you can engage with your families during this time or to help advance family discipleship. Using Zoom or Google Hangouts? Invite interaction from the families. How about having your pastor join in on Thursday to share more about the Lord’s Supper? Maybe provide instructions for making Resurrection Rolls on Friday. Be creative and have fun!

EVENT SCHEDULE

  • Sunday, April 5: Jesus’ Triumphal Entry
  • Thursday, April 9: The Last Supper
  • Friday, April 10: Jesus’ Crucifixion and Resurrection
  • Sunday, April 12: The Emmaus Disciples
  • Monday, April 13: Jesus Appeared to the Disciples

EVENT RESOURCES

PDF Items

MP4 Videos

ACTIVITIES TO CONSIDER

While not all of the activities in the leader guide will work in the home, here are several to consider using during your online gatherings or suggesting families do together afterward.

Preschool

  • Jesus’ Triumphal Entry: Make Dramatic Entrances, Hunt for Rocks, Play “Follow the Robes”
  • The Last Supper: Sing “Head, Heart, Hands, and Feet,” Make Feet Lacing Cards,” Wash Preschoolers Feet
  • Jesus’ Crucifixion and Resurrection: Replicate an Earthquake with Blocks, Compare Rocks, Sing a Song, Build an Empty Tomb with Blocks, Make a Cross Painting, Dress Up Like a King
  • The Emmaus Disciples: Silly Walks, Play “Who Do You Know?,” Find Jesus’ Name in Bibles, Make Jesus Bookmarks, Play Out Teaching Bible Stories
  • Jesus Appeared to the Disciples: Play “I Spy,” Guess What Appeared, Create a Special Handshake, Make Invitations

Younger Kids

  • Jesus’ Triumphal Entry: Parade Brigade, Storytelling Stations, Rocks Cry Out
  • The Last Supper: Hide-and-Seek Dinner, Toe Painting, Hidden Objects
  • Jesus’ Crucifixion and Resurrection: In-Out-In, Gospel Practice
  • The Emmaus Disciples: Blind Pathway, Everything Points to Jesus
  • Jesus Appeared to the Disciples: Which Surprise Is Best?, Reverse Charades

Older Kids

  • Jesus’ Triumphal Entry: Moo Baa Hee-Haw
  • The Last Supper: Play Dough Meal, Would You?, Supper Symbols
  • Jesus’ Crucifixion and Resurrection: Twenty Questions
  • The Emmaus Disciples: Blind Toss, Closed-Eye Drawings
  • Jesus Appeared to the Disciples: Make Introductions, Collect and Conclude, Invisible Messages

**Note: Not all items referenced in the Leader Guide (such as missions videos and activity printables) are included for this event. These are not provided to keep things as simple as possible for you as a ministry leader as you quickly develop an online event. **

Kids Ministry

4 Ways to Minimize Your Kids Ministry

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Want to have the least impactful, bare minimum ministry to kids possible? In this post we will share four proven ways for you to minimize your kids ministry. 

No matter what your specific role is, there are many different facets to a kids ministry—many things that you can do that can go right or wrong. Here are four of the top ways that you can minimize your ministry to kids. 

Have a Utilitarian View of Your Kids. A mediocre ministry to kids begins with how you view them. If you want to minimize your ministry, start with being content just to know the names of your kids. Don’t worry about their hobbies or interests. Don’t waste time asking them about how they are doing in school, or where they went on vacation. And surely don’t waste your time visiting them, watching them play sports, or taking them out for ice cream. These things have nothing to do with them learning the Bible, right? All you need for them to do is sit quietly and absorb the information you pass along to them. As long as you know their names, you can call on them to read or pray and that makes you golden. You are the teacher; they are the learners. Period. 

Disregard Your Kids’ Families. While you will need to know your kids’ names to have a mediocre ministry, you will not need to know anything about their families. Don’t waste any time getting to know their parents or guardians. Don’t worry if your kids have any siblings, except, perhaps, for younger siblings who will become your future learners. Once again, their family lives have no bearing on you teaching them the Bible. Remember that you are the Bible expert in your kids’ lives; their parents and guardians are just there to keep them alive and bring them to you for all their Bible needs. 

Stay Comfortable. If you want to minimize your ministry to kids, seek to always be comfortable. In fact, the only time that you should be uncomfortable is when you have to sit in one of those tiny kids chairs. Other than that, be sure to put your comfort first. That means only preparing to teach each week when you have time and when there is nothing better to do. Don’t spend any money out of pocket for treats in the classroom, extra supplies, or anything else. And for sure, don’t volunteer to be at special events such as VBS or kids camp. 

Ignore Your Relationship with God. Remember that you are the expert. You have this all handled. Don’t worry about spending time reading the Bible, praying, and worshiping. All you need to do is teach the content exactly as it appears in your curriculum’s leader guide, follow your brilliantly planned ministry calendar, and basically trust in your abilities, skills, and power to fuel your ministry. 

There you have it. Four sure-fire ways to develop a mediocre ministry to kids. Of course, if you want more than that for some reason, just turn each one of these on their heads. Strive to know your kids well—to truly love them and care for them as you value who they are. Partner with parents and families. See them as teammates with the shared goal of discipling kids. Get out of your comfort zone. Stretch yourself and die to yourself to serve your kids. And pour into your relationship with God so that your service is done in His power and out of the overflow.   

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to LifeWay. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Gospel-Centered, Kids Ministry, Kids Ministry Curriculum

What’s the Story with the Story?

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When some kids leaders hear the word story, they hear fiction. It is not surprising then that there is a reluctance to calling what we teach kids a Bible story. Some go further and think it is wrong and even dangerous to use Bible story, believing that it leads kids to think of the Bible as a work of fiction. But is it? There just might be more to this story than meets the eye.

The Gospel Project uses the word story quite a bit. Each session has a Bible story. And we always remind kids that the Bible story each week is part of God’s one big story of Scripture. We aren’t alone in using this phrase; other curriculums do as well. But should we? Are we being unwise, or even harmful, by calling passages Bible stories? Some think we are. 

For some, story is synonymous with a work of fiction. When they hear story they hear fairy tale, myth, or a fable. It is unwise, dangerous, or even wrong then to use story in relation to the Bible. When we do, we communicate to kids that the Bible is untrue. 

Let me pause here and clarify that we at The Gospel Project would certainly hold to the belief that the Bible is absolutely true. That is a deeply held value of ours and it is a big part of what drives our crafting of that resource. Why then do we choose to use story? Because story is a good word to describe the Bible and it is a helpful word to build bridges with our culture, which uses story in many different meaningful ways.

What Story Means 

Here is the first definition of story according to Merriam-Webster:

a. an account of incidents or events

b. a statement regarding the facts pertinent to a situation in question. 

c. anecdote 

As you can see, aside from definition 1c, story is a good word for what is in the Bible. (This will likely blow your mind: myth does not primarily mean something fictional either, which is why you might hear theologians use it at times in reference to the Bible as well, such as the creation myth in Genesis 1-2.) When we use story in relation to the Bible, we are telling kids an account of the incidents or events of God’s plan to rescue people through Jesus Christ. That is one reason why I like story: it connects every passage we study to the overall narrative of Scripture. One alternative word I hear suggested quite often is lesson. That’s not a bad word in many ways, but my concern with using that term is that it can give kids the wrong idea of what the Bible is all about. The Bible is not a collection of unrelated, self-contained lessons to be covered in 60 minutes or so. It is one big story. 

How We Use Story in Our Culture

But let’s move beyond the dictionary and consider how we use story in everyday life. 

When I was a journalist, I wrote news stories.

Facebook has “Top Stories” and a “Stories” feature for people to share what is going on in their lives.

Someone might ask you to tell them your story. You surely would not make up a work of fiction about yourself on the spot. You would know they want to know who you are. 

You might tell your children the story of how you met your spouse or when they were born. 

As we can see, our culture uses story quite often in a way that clearly means real story. This is another reason why I like story: It connects with the people we are trying to reach and it is deep within our wiring. Ever wonder why Hollywood is so successful? Because humans are drawn to stories.  

How We Use Story in Our Faith 

But the case for story gets even stronger when we consider its use in relation to our faith.

The word story appears in some of the beloved hymns many of us grew up singing. “I Love to Tell the Story.” “Tell Me the Old, Old Story.” “You are Called to Tell the Story.” When we sing these hymns, we know they are not positioning the Bible as fiction. We know that story means true story.  

But here is the most important reason why story is a good word for us to use: the Bible uses it. That’s right, the Bible uses story to mean true events. 

  • 2 Kings 8:6 CSB
  • 2 Chronicles 13:22 ESV / KJV
  • 2 Chronicles 24:27 ESV / KJV
  • Psalm 107:2 NIV 
  • Acts 11:4 NIV

If the Bible uses story and many hymns we sang include story without leading us astray, we should not be afraid of using this word. 

Story is not a bad word at all. It is not a dangerous word. And it is not an unwise word. It’s a good word. Do you have to use story? Of course not. But neither should we think those who do are being unfaithful to Scripture. But for those of us who do use story, we need to recognize that the word can be used to mean a work of fiction. Because of this, let’s be wise and pair story with true at least at times. But if the only way the kids know we believe the Bible is true is by our use of a word or phrase to introduce what we are about to read from it, we have bigger issues to consider in what and how we are teaching and how we are living. Our kids should know the Bible is true primarily because they see its truth lived out in and through the story we are living.

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to LifeWay. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Family Ministry, Kids Ministry, Leadership

Equipped for Ministry

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Pursuing opportunities to develop in ministry is important. In this blog post four key questions are shared that you will want to ask yourself as you decide how best to grow for ministry. 

Serving kids and their families is one of the greatest privileges God gives. It’s also one of the greatest responsibilities He gives. Partnering with parents to point their kids to the beauty of the gospel is an odd mixture of joy and doubt. One moment we experience unspeakable joy at seeing God use us to help the gospel take deeper root in a child’s heart and the very next minute we wonder if we have anything to offer kids—anything at all. 

It is during the latter times when we find the old axiom “God doesn’t call the equipped but equips the called” so comforting. It’s good to remember that God provides all we need to serve Him. But this equipping is not automatic. We need to pursue it and choose the best available training from a number of options. Here are four key questions to consider as you pursue your ministry development options: 

1. Why am I pursuing ministry development? While you might be quick to answer that you want to pursue development to serve in ministry better, be careful that there isn’t some other reason lurking deeper down. For some, the real reason is validation—to prove one’s value to others. For others, the deeper reason is career advancement. While neither of these reasons are inherently wrong, neither can be the main reason. Serving kids and parents more faithfully must be. 

2. Do I have the resources? The main resource you need will be time. Do you have the time to invest in development opportunities? The other main resources are money and energy. What resources you have available will greatly influence the specific type of development option you should pursue.

3. What are my informal options? If any one of your three main resources—time, money, and energy—is limited, you will definitely want to go the informal development route. Here are a few of the main options you might pursue:

  • Podcasts. Podcasts are one of the cheapest most accessible options out there today. What can be better than listening to a theology, ministry, or leadership development podcast during a commute to maximize your time? The Kids Ministry 101 podcast is a great place to start.
  • Blogs. Like podcasts, blogs are an inexpensive, accessible option for development. While it is more difficult to multitask while reading blogs, an advantage of this option over podcasts is that it allows you to jot down notes and move more slowly over some content that you want to chew on.  
  • Books. Books require more of a financial investment but they will generally provide more depth than either podcasts or blogs. Many great books also come in audio format, allowing the multitasking win of podcasts with greater depth. 
  • Training Platforms. Training platforms, such as Ministry Grid, requires another step up financially, but opens a new world of training opportunities. Many of the training resources include videos and study guides providing sort of a classroom feel. 
  • Personal discipleship. This one shouldn’t really be an option, but a given. We are all called into discipleship relationships, in both directions. Someone should be pouring into us as we pour into others. If you don’t have someone pouring into you, consider some of the ministry leaders in your community and ask one. 

4. What are my formal options? If you have the time, money, and energy, then formal development might be the way to go. There is something about learning in community at a Bible college or seminary that cannot be matched. Until recently, this meant you either needed to live near a college or seminary or you were able to move to one. But distance learning has blossomed, even allowing you to pursue a PhD from your home. If you are considering this route, it is a big step that requires ample research. Don’t just go with the cheapest or easiest option; you want to make sure you choose an academic institution that meets what you need in all three of these areas:

  • Accreditation. Simply put, only consider accredited institutions. You will likely stumble across a number of internet options that seem too good to be true—because they are. Accreditation is not just important, it is essential. Without it, you cannot be guaranteed of the quality of education you will receive and you greatly limit who will recognize what you earn. 
  • Denomination Affiliation. Be sure to know the denominational affiliation and statement of faith of the institution and be good with both. This will not only affect what you learn in classes, but it might also impact future career opportunities. Like it or not, right or wrong, one of the first items prospective employers will notice on a resume is the academic institutions you attended. 
  • Focus. Not all Bible colleges and seminaries are alike. Many will try to stand out from the crowd by specializing in a particular area of ministry. Know what the institutions you are considering are known for and also be sure to confirm that the degree you are interested in is offered. This is especially important if you are interested in a degree in children’s ministry; not all seminaries offer one. 

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to LifeWay. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Encouragement, Family, Family Ministry, Kids Ministry, Parent Helps, Parenting, Preschool, Preteen

30 Things Parents Should Say to Their Kids

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Words matter. The words parents use have great power to give life to their kids. Here are 30 life-giving things parents should consider saying to their kids on a regular basis.  

In the Book of James we read that the tongue, although quite small, can do great things. We are also warned to control the tongue, because it can just as easily do terrible things (James 3:2-12). When we think of controlling the tongue, we often think of stopping it from saying harmful things, but sometimes the greatest harm a parent’s tongue can do is to be still. It’s not enough for kids not to hear life-taking words, they also need to hear life-giving words. Here are 30 life-giving things parents should consider saying to their kids on a regular basis. 

  1. I love you.
  2. God loves you.
  3. I will always love you no matter what, because you are my son/daughter.
  4. You are a blessing, a gift from God.
  5. I am proud of you.
  6. I am glad that you are my son/daughter.
  7. If God would have let me choose whomever I wanted to be my son/daughter, I would have chosen you. 
  8. When you grow up, you can be whatever God calls you to be. 
  9. You matter because you matter to God.
  10. You can tell me anything, and I will listen. 
  11. God wants you to make much of Him right now wherever you are in whatever you do. 
  12. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?
  13. I forgive you. 
  14. I trust you.
  15. I like who you are. 
  16. Mistakes happen.
  17. God forgives. 
  18. Trust in Christ. 
  19. What are you reading about in your Bible?
  20. What are you talking to God about when you pray? 
  21. You are an image bearer of God, a person of infinite worth. 
  22. Why you do what you do matters as much as what you do. 
  23. How can I pray for you?
  24. Have fun and laugh today.
  25. You have my total attention.
  26. What do you think?
  27. (Grades, sports, etc.) is not most important; God is. 
  28. Let’s do that together. 
  29. You give me joy.
  30. Yes.

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to LifeWay. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Kids Ministry, Teaching Kids

What a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Can Teach Us about Teaching

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When it comes to teaching kids the Bible, we have a choice to make: do we focus on facts, concepts, or both? How we answer that question impacts much of what we do, including our goal in Bible teaching and how we evaluate success. In this blog post, we explore that the gospel we teach includes both facts and concepts and we also consider how to teach both and evaluate our effectiveness accordingly. 

Although it is often considered to be a kids’ food, I’ll eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from time to time. As a kid, I liked my sandwiches with more jelly than peanut butter, cut in half horizontally. Now, I prefer more peanut butter and I cut my sandwiches in half diagonally (yes, I have upped my kitchen knife game). That’s the thing about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches: they can be crafted in so many ways based on the preferences of the person eating it. Smooth or crunchy peanut butter. Grape, strawberry, or some other kind of jelly. White, wheat, or some other bread. But, with all of the variations possible, when it comes down to it, you cannot make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without peanut butter and jelly. It takes both. Peanut butter and jelly, not peanut butter or jelly. And that’s what a peanut butter and jelly sandwich can teach us about teaching. 

Part of teaching is sharing facts. Think of the facts as the peanut butter. This is usually what people think of when they think of teaching; we impart facts to someone else. Our goal of teaching kids the Bible, then, is to teach them the facts of the Bible. They need to know the people, places, and events of Scripture. Let’s use Genesis 22, the sacrifice of Isaac, as an example. 

Think of what a kid needs to know—the facts—of Genesis 22. Your list might include who Abraham was, who Isaac was, who God is (of course), what a burnt offering was, and perhaps where Moriah was. Our objective would be to explain these facts to our kids in a way they would understand them and remember them. We could assess how well we did by asking review questions to see if they get the facts right. 

Now, those facts are critically important, but facts alone does not a peanut butter and jelly sandwich make. We still need the jelly—or in this case, concepts. If the facts are the “what” of the Bible passage, the concepts are the “why” and “how.” Why does this story matter and how does it connect to the bigger story of the Bible? 

Returning to Genesis 22, if all we taught were the facts—we just gave our kids peanut butter—they would miss out on the meaning of the passage. They would know it, but they would not understand it. Think of the concepts that we would want them to understand: how God had promised to bring a Rescuer through this family, how Isaac was the son of promise which drove Abraham’s faith and obedience, how God provided a substitute in Isaac’s place, and how this passage foreshadows a greater Father who would not only be willing to sacrifice His Son, but who did. These concepts show the sweetness of God’s Word—the beauty of the gospel—which is why I think of them as the jelly. But without the facts—the peanut butter—we can never get to these concepts. That is why we need both. We need facts and concepts. Peanut butter and jelly. 

How do we assess our kids’ grasp of these concepts though? Well, a review focused on “why” questions rather than “what” questions might help to a degree, but the deeper, fuller evaluation of our kids’ absorption of these concepts comes over time. Are they understanding the gospel more? Have they trusted in Jesus? Are they experiencing transformation by the power of the gospel? This is why our best ministry takes place when we are consistently with our kids over the long haul. These factors are hard, if not impossible, to evaluate if we are with our kids every few weeks. 

One final lesson from the humble peanut butter and jelly sandwich is in order. Remember how customizable it is? The same is true with our teaching of facts and concepts. For the more concrete thinking preschoolers and younger kids, we want to focus more on facts—lathering on the peanut butter, but still adding some jelly. Younger kids are more concrete in their thinking, not entirely concrete. As the kids get older and can more easily think in abstract terms, you can then gradually shift the balance of the recipe and increase the sweetness by layering on more concepts.

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to LifeWay. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Discipleship, Parenting

From How to Who: Unscrambling the Parent Discipleship Paradox

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One of the greatest ways we can help the kids in our ministries is by helping their parents be better disciplers. But perhaps we usually do that the wrong way: by focusing on tools and techniques rather than on the parents’ own relationship with Christ. In this blog post we use Deut. 6:4-9 as the template showing our greater need to focus on “who” than “how.”

I’m convinced that most of our parents know that they are the primary disciplers of their kids. I’m further convinced that most of our parents want to disciple their kids. But I also know that most (well, perhaps many would be less cynical) of our parents don’t disciple their kids—at least not to a meaningful degree. 

The best impact we can make on our kids is to encourage and equip parents for their role in discipling their kids. What we do with kids matters—a great deal—but if I had just one hour to make a difference in a kid’s life, I would spend those 60 minutes with her parents. But here is what I would not do during that hour: I would not spend all of it talking about how to do family worship or giving the parents resources. Those are really important, but I would reserve only the last few minutes for them. Rather, I would spend the bulk of the time focused on the topic I believe would make the greatest difference—the one which I think we are missing which is why we continue to see a lack of family discipleship. 

Parents don’t need to understand the how of family discipleship as much as they need to understand the who of family discipleship—more specifically, who they, the parents, are in Christ. You anchor that in a parent’s heart, and you give him or her what is needed to disciple. The how must follow this who. 

We see this pattern of “who then how” in the Shema, Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Notice that as a parent, I don’t see a how action point until verse 7. The first three verses—half of the passage—concern my relationship with God. God is not so subtle in His point here, is He? 

Let me go theological nerd on you for a minute—I trust you will appreciate why shortly. In Hebrew writing there is a literary device called the chiasm. Basically think of a chiasm as a sideways pyramid with the point to the right. Each layer of that pyramid relates to the mirrored one. As I study the Shema, I see a chiasm that amplifies the “who then how” principle of parent discipleship:

  • a1) A parent’s love for God (4-5)
    • b1) A parent’s love of the gospel (6)
      • c1) A parent’s grasp of the gospel (6-7)
      • c2) Repeating the gospel in structured ways (7)
    • b2) Talking about the gospel as you go in unstructured ways (7)
  • a2) Living marked by the gospel (8-9)

Let’s start from the inside, the “c” level, the hinge between who and how, and work back out. In verse 6 God tells parents that His words—the Scriptures, which I have labeled “the gospel” which is what the Scriptures are about—are to be on our hearts. On the surface, that means parents are to love the gospel, but inferred here is our need to know the gospel. You cannot love what you do not know. As a parent then—as a follower of Jesus—I need to be spending time in the Word. I need to grow in my understanding of it, which will fuel my love for it. Notice the parent discipleship action connected with it in verse 7—repeating the gospel to our kids in planned, structured ways. That makes total sense, doesn’t it? The more we know the gospel, the more we will be able and apt to repeat it to our kids. Just as you cannot love what you do not know, neither can you repeat what you do not know. So the first thing parents need to understand in order to disciple their kids is that they need to be immersed in God’s Word themselves. As a parent, I need to be a student of the Bible. That who will drive the how. 


The next level, the “b” level, is also found in verses 6 and 7. As we come to know the gospel more and more, our love for it grows proportionally. This prevailing sense of awe of what God has done through Christ is what will lead us as parents to talk about the gospel as we go—in our normal rhythms of life. When our hearts are saturated with love, joy, and gratitude for God’s kindness to us in Christ, how can we not talk about the gospel with our kids? If Jesus is our greatest treasure, how can we not share that treasure with our children? The question of what we have to do as parents in terms of discipleship becomes meaningless. “Have to” gives way to “want to” and “get to.” We want to share the gospel with our kids as part of our daily lives and we are grateful we get to do that. Once again, we see the who driving the how. 

That takes us to the final level, the “a” level, the coupling of verse 4-5 with 8-9. As we spend time in the Scriptures coming to know and love the gospel more, we will naturally come to love the Author of the Gospel more. The same “who then how” principle is at play here. The how of the gospel is critical, but it is secondary to the who of the gospel: God. The gospel compels us to love God fully—with all of our being (heart, soul, and strength). And when we do, our lives will change. We will want God to change us through the power of the gospel and live it out to bring Him glory. And as we do so, we become people marked by the gospel. The gospel becomes our core identifier, not our nationality, ethnicity, socio-economic level, or anything else. Those are not unimportant descriptors, neither are they necessarily bad. But they are not our core sense of identity. Our who rests squarely in the gospel. This is what is in mind when God says that the gospel is to be bound on our hands and foreheads and it is to be written on our doorposts and city gates. The gospel should inform all that we think and do, and it is to be an identifier of our homes, like a house address, and of our communities. The who of being a parent who loves God drives the how of living on mission for God with our families. 
This is what our parents need to know: it all starts with who they are—people who know the gospel, love the gospel, and love the God of the gospel. The how flows from that.

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to LifeWay. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Uncategorized

End Goal

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Begin with the Right End in Mind So You Don’t End Right Before You Begin

One of the core principles in educational philosophy is to start with the end in mind—start with what you want the student to learn or how you want the student’s life to change and work back from there. In this blog post we will see how this applies to kids ministry too. We need to clarify our end goal, but that isn’t making believers or even making disciples; it’s making disciple-making disciples. That end goal should then drive all that we do. 

Imagine taking a pile of lumber and beginning to cut, nail, sand, and paint it without having a plan of what you were building. You could make the most precise of cuts. Your nailing could be out of this world. And your sanding and painting could be meticulous. But in the end, what good would it be if you just had a useless clump of expertly cut, nailed, sanded, and painted wood? 

It’s an absurd illustration, right? Who does that? No one! Instead, you start with a plan and then you work that plan. The same is true in the kitchen—you start with a recipe, or at least know what you are making, and then get after it. Or on a road trip, you know your destination before you begin. 

But when it comes to kids ministry, we may not always lead this way. We may not always have in mind the end—our goal—as we plan, lead, and conduct ministry. As a result, we may experience great ministry from week-to-week, but that ministry may not be moving our kids toward where they need to go. So what are we after? Where are we going? What is our goal? 

The knee-jerk answer might be that we are helping our kids become believers. We help kids trust in Jesus Christ for salvation. John 3:16 would be the mission verse of this ministry. This answer is fantastic because it’s true. What we do in ministry should drive each and every kid toward trusting in Christ. That’s our desire at least. But then what? If that is the goal, we reach it every time a child trusts in Christ … so we would be done. There would be nothing else left to do. But we know that is not the case, so this cannot be the goal of our ministry. 

Perhaps, then, our goal is helping kids become disciples. Trusting in Christ is not the end of the journey, but rather the beginning. We want to help kids grow in their faith and become more Christlike. Matthew 28:18-20 would be the mission verse of this ministry. This answer is even better than the first because it is more complete. It gives context to a long-term ministry to kids, one which hands them off to student ministry and then adult ministry to continue that discipleship process. You can see how this end goal frames our ministries differently than the first. The first would focus solely on evangelism; this one might begin with evangelism, but also would include ways the gospel changes us to be more like Christ. But to what purpose? If we are fully forgiven and righteous in Christ, why grow in that faith? So there has to be even more to our goal than this.  

This is important. Our goal is not just to make believers or even disciples; our goal is to help our kids become disciple-making disciples. We want our kids to trust in Christ and grow in their relationship with Him so that they might be able to help others trust in Christ and become disciples as well. This ministry is marked by evangelism of our kids, discipleship of our kids, and evangelism and discipleship training for our kids to reach and disciple others. The mission verse for this ministry would be 2 Timothy 2:2. This end goal gives the deepest and broadest context to all we do. It supplies the greater “why”—it’s not about us, it’s ultimately about God’s glory and God is greatly glorified when more people trust in Christ. That is why we exist. That is why we are left on earth after trusting in Christ rather than being whisked to heaven, so that we can do what we will not be able to do in eternity—make disciple-making disciples. 

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to LifeWay. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Encouragement, Family

5 Lessons I’m Learning as a Dad of Kids with Anxiety

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Many kids struggle with anxiety today, not a mere nervousness, but rather what can be an overwhelming and paralyzing fear. In this blog post, I share a few lessons I’m learning on how to help my own kids who struggle with anxiety in hope that they help you navigate the anxiety that might occur in your ministry.

Anxiety is an ever-present foe in my family, one which I despise. Two of my kids struggle with anxiety pretty much on a daily basis, and as their father, it destroys me to see it. Anxiety, like depression, is a word we throw around quite a bit, so let me explain what I mean, or perhaps rather what I don’t mean.

When I say my kids struggle with anxiety, I don’t mean that they worry some or that they get nervous on occasion. Oh, they do worry and get nervous, but it’s much more than that. For most of us, we can control those feelings. We can make sense of them and keep them in proportion. But my kids can’t. Their anxiety overwhelms them. It plagues their minds and crushes their hearts. That’s why I say they struggle with anxiety. They don’t want to be anxious and they try to fight against it, but it is a battle they often lose. They don’t just have anxiety; anxiety has them.

For my family, we see anxiety manifest itself in so many ways: going to school, being in new situations, experiencing changes in our routine, knowing where mom is, and even seeing a friend in the park. Handling these episodes of anxiety is challenging enough for me, let alone knowing how to help my kids during them. I tend not to be a worrier, so it’s hard for me to relate with what they are experiencing. Plus, I’m a problem-solver; I want to fix what is “broken” so I often come at these episodes from that unrealistic posture. Add to the mix that I am a selfish sinner who often lacks the grace and patience my kids need and deserve, and it is a formula of failure more than one of success.

But in God’s kindness, He is teaching me—ever so slowly—how to support my kids during and through their anxiety. Here are five lessons He’s driving into me:

1. Knowing what not to say matters … greatly. We mean well, but often our desire to say something outweighs the wisdom of what we actually say. The result is that we can offer what comes across as platitudes. I’ve told my kids, “don’t worry,” but I can see how that rings hollow. Telling them not to worry, as if they can but are choosing not to, just doesn’t help. In that moment they cannot not worry. Another one I’ve said is, “everything is OK.” While I know that to be true, my kids don’t feel that truth in the moment. Rather, it’s better for me to acknowledge their struggle. Acknowledge that what they’re experiencing is difficult and let them know I’m sorry they are experiencing it, but I will be with them during it and through it. “This stinks. I’m so sorry you are feeling this right now. I’m here with you. We will get through it.” 

Likewise, be careful about quoting Bible passages, such as Matthew 6:25-34, Philippians 4:6-7, or 1 Peter 5:7, as if a kid struggling with anxiety only needs to understand and believe these verses to be OK. Yes, the gospel is the ultimate answer for all that is broken in the world, but just as we wouldn’t quote Psalm 103:3 instead of giving penicillin to a child with pneumonia, we shouldn’t only give Bible verses to our kids. Rather, we want to remind our kids of God’s sovereign power and His love for them. We want to encourage our kids that the gospel says that in Christ, they are fully loved and accepted by God, no matter what—even if they might feel like a failure because of their worries and doubts. Give them life through God’s Word, not potential, albeit accidental, condemnation. 

2. Patience is not a virtue; patience is a necessity. Perhaps my greatest struggle with my kids’ anxiety is my lack of patience. It’s actually a problem for me in general, but when it comes to helping kids navigate anxiety, patience is not a virtue, it’s a must. So the best thing for us to do is to pray up. Remind ourselves that the kid doesn’t want to be anxious—it’s not a choice. Ask God to help frustration give way to compassion. Step away for a minute if possible and needed. Getting frustrated, or even mad as I have done at times, doesn’t help anyone—you, or especially the kid. 

3. Find and Encourage Tools that Help. My kids have been helped a great deal with tools taught or given to them by counselors. Perhaps it is saying something or focusing thoughts on something. Or perhaps it is squeezing a stress ball. Having tools to use can greatly help a child experiencing anxiety, but there may be times when the anxiety is so severe, it’s difficult to even get the kid to use those tools. Be ready for that. For me, it only adds to my frustration, so I need to be mentally and spiritually ready to help my kids help themselves when they refuse to use the tools they have been given. The flip side of this is that a kid who has found tools that work can provide help and encouragement to others. We have seen this with our kids helping one another when one is struggling and it is a beautiful reminder of God’s kindness to use any bad for His glory (see Gen 50:20).  

4. Routines Give Comfort. The best way to help with anxiety is to help your kid proactively. One of the best methods I have found is to create and guard routines as much as possible. For my kids, new and different prompt panic. The fear of the unknown is very real for them. As a result, we try to guard our family routine as much as we can. Comfortable, familiar rhythms are a balm on the mind and heart of a child who struggles with anxiety. But there will be times when new situations cannot, and should not, be avoided. Prepare your kid for the upcoming event by reviewing the schedule, talking about specific areas that might prompt anxiety, and planning on what tools would be most helpful.

5. Lighten the load. In light of the last tip, do what you can to lighten the load. Keep life as consistent and simple as possible. This means saying “no” to plenty of things, even good things. For our family, this might mean abstaining from various one-time events that pop up and trying to protect our daily schedule as best as we can (such as dinner time and bedtime). In the classroom, this might mean being extra careful about changing your routine, and when you do, giving any kids who struggle with anxiety plenty of advance notice. Talk them through exactly what will be happening … and be ready to have that conversation more than just once!

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to LifeWay. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

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