Kids Ministry

Dedicated to helping Kids Ministry leaders in their mission of making disciples

Encouragement, Kids Ministry, Leadership

Are You a Mary or Martha Minister?

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38 While they were traveling, he entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to serve alone? So tell her to give me a hand.” 

41 The Lord answered her,“Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42 (CSB)

Both Mary and Martha loved Jesus and Jesus loved both Mary and Martha. They, along with their brother Lazarus, were among Jesus’ closest friends. We need to keep that in mind before we go any further. In a minute, I am going to ask if you are more of a Mary or a Martha, but I don’t want you mistakenly thinking that your answer makes you more or less loved by Christ. If you have trusted in Christ, you are fully loved. You are fully accepted. You are fully pleasing to God. With that said, it’s time for us to give the Holy Spirit some space to do heart surgery. 

Martha Ministers

I like Martha. I can relate with Martha. I think we are wired the same way—always needing to do something. It can drive my wife nuts. I am so bad at sitting still and doing nothing, even if she wants us to do just that. I try, but I get antsy so quickly. 


Can you relate? Are you on Team Martha? What makes it even more complicated for us is that we often love doing things for others. We are the ones who generally will chip in and help when we see work that needs to be done. We are wired to do that and we try to show love and care for others by what we do. 

But there are times, like we see here in Luke 10, when our wiring can become a fault. Martha made two mistakes here. First, she missed spending time with Jesus. Time with Jesus was precious—and here Martha missed it. Her tasks distracted her from what, or Who, really mattered. Second, Martha seems to have been miffed that she was doing all the work and Mary was not helping. That is what she wants Jesus to help with, right? Her service, then, was done with at least a portion of bitterness. And that is never a good thing. 

How about you and me? Can we fall into the same traps as Martha did here? Can we be so busy that we miss spending time with Christ? Or miss spending time with our kids and families? Can we serve with bitterness too? Bitter that we are the ones who are always doing endless tasks while other staff members do not? 

Here are a couple of tips to help prevent this. First, we need to learn to delegate. This can be a challenge because many of us Marthas like to do things a certain way but when we delegate, we need to let go. Or, we like the attention we receive for doing all we do. The root of both of these concerns is pride, and we need to die to that pride and delegate. Second, we need to be OK with unfinished tasks. We need to be OK if all of the details we envisioned don’t work out. Or if a project is only “very good” and not “perfect.” Or when we need to let something go until another day. 

Mary Ministers

Now let’s talk to the Marys out there. While Martha was running around worried about being a good host, Mary was focussed on the guest Himself. She sat with Jesus, listening to Him. When Martha complained, Jesus made it crystal clear that she had made the wrong choice while Mary had made the right one. So in this instance we see that spending time with Jesus and focusing on Him is more important than anything else we might do. 

If you are a Mary, this is a no-brainer to you. Of course it is better to spend time with Jesus. You cannot imagine starting your day without ample time in the Scriptures. And this likely carries over to your ministry where you love spending time with your kids and families. 

This is great, right? We cannot fault this ministry posture even if we wanted to because Jesus commended it. But we have to be careful not to push Jesus’ affirmation of Mary too far. The context was a narrow window of Jesus’ earthly ministry—just about three years. Jesus’ point seems to have been that Mary was wise to spend time with Him and focus on Him while she was able. In plenty of other places, Jesus talks about our need to serve Him—not just spend time with Him. So as ministers, we need to be careful not to let a Mary disposition hinder our ministries. In an effort to love Jesus and love our kids and families, we may actually hinder our ministries if we fail to complete the numerous tasks undergirding them. 

Here are a couple of tips to help prevent this. First, all ministers should calendar their days thoroughly, but especially Marys. We know that ministry is frantic and it is easy to miss important tasks and details. Calendering our activities is essential to make sure we don’t fall behind. Some people prefer to use to-do lists or apps, but I prefer a calendar app. Schedule your week ahead of time, blocking estimated times it will take you to complete each task. I even color-code mine to see how balanced my schedule is. All of my meetings are one color, all my phone calls another, and so forth. This way, you can block times for spending time with Jesus and your kids and families, but ensure you don’t do so at the expense of preparing for that upcoming talk, securing your spot at summer camp, and purchasing your VBS materials. When you calendar, you can live with confidence each moment, not worrying whether you should be doing something else because everything is covered ahead of time. Second, as a Mary, go out of your way to pitch-in to help with tasks outside of your ministry area every chance you get. The Marthas around you might see you as lazy or not a team player. Pitching in joyfully and consistently will go a long way to preserve those relationships you care so much about. 

Brian Dembowczyk served in the local church ministry for over 16 years. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Kids Ministry, Leadership, Ministry

8 Questions to Ask When Interviewing for a Kids Ministry Position

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Interviewing at a church for a kids ministry position can be exciting and frightening all wrapped up together. Both you and the church want to make sure that the fit is right because there is so much at stake. In addition to asking questions about the church itself—such as what is its theology—you will also want to ask questions about the church’s kids ministry that will give you the insight you need to make the right decision. Here are eight important questions to get you started:

  1. What is the kids ministry philosophy? Is it negotiable?

Is it a family-integrated model where age segmentation is eliminated pretty much completely. Adults, students, and kids attend Bible study together, worship together, and do events together. Or is it a family-based model where intergenerational gatherings connect the age segmented ministries together. Kids will be in classes with just kids, will attend events with just kids, and so forth, but there will also be events and classes that put kids, students, and adults together. This is more of a both-and approach. Or is it a family-equipping model where the age-segmented ministry structure is intact, but everything that is done is done with an eye on equipping families. (If you want to learn more about these approaches, see Perspectives on Family Ministry: 3 Views, edited by Timothy Paul Jones.)

No matter what the church’s ministry philosophy is, you will want to ask the follow-up question if it is negotiable. Here’s why. If your philosophy and the church’s do not align, you will need to know if you would need to defer to the church’s philosophy or not. That could be a deal-breaker. But even if they align, you will want to know how set the church is in that philosophy. Is it a true value of the church or is it more of a default? That will help you know what vision-casting might be needed if you accept the position. 

  1. How does the pastor see the kids minister? The staff team? The church? 

Put simply, would they see you as more of an equal or not? The truth is that many pastors, staff teams, and churches do not see kids ministers as they should—they are seen as second-tier staff members. They aren’t “real” staff members—they just keep the kids entertained. This is frustrating and it is wrong, but it is the reality for many churches. One of the best ways we can help our kids and families is by raising the bar in this area—working to help churches take our role seriously and giving it the weight it is due. 

  1. What curriculum is being used. Why? 

You can learn quite a bit about a ministry by its curriculum and the thought process that went into what is used. Was it chosen because it was fun? Cheap? Easy? Or was it chosen because it aligns with the church’s theology and the kids ministry philosophy? An important follow-up question is whether the church is open to changing curriculum and how that process would work. 

  1. What regular programs are done. Why? 

Does the church do VBS? Summer camps? Christmas and Easter programs and events? Are any of these expected—sort of sacred cows in the church? Have they been effective? How do they connect to the church’s vision and mission? As you know, events require tons of energy and resources. Many times they are worth it, but sometimes they are not. You need to know about all the events the church does before you walk into a potential minefield. 

  1. How invested are the kids leaders in the ministry? Are they tired? Energized? Valued? 

Committed, loving, godly leaders are the lifeblood of a healthy ministry. Be sure to get as good of a pulse on the ministry team as you can. If you accept the ministry position, getting to know your team and building into it would likely be your first step, and you would need to know what they need right away. 

  1. How invested are families in discipling their kids? What has been done to encourage and equip them? 

Leaders are the lifeblood of ministry, but families (parents, grandparents, guardians, etc.) are your greatest partners in discipling kids. Are they doing that? Have they been encouraged and equipped to do that? What would they need from you, the kids minister?

  1. What is the partnership between the kids ministry and student ministry like? 

Far too many churches operate in silos to the detriment of kids, students, and families, and the church itself. What is the relationship like between ministries? Is it cohesive or are they disconnected? Are there strong transitions between them? Do they work together to help equip families? 

  1. What wins would you want to see? 

Don’t forget to ask some more practical questions too, such as this one. Finding out what wins are hanging out there will give you insight into what expectations you would be under and what the church really values. How this question is answered would also help you establish what to work on in your first 90 days. 

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to Lifeway. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Evangelism, Kids Ministry, Reaching

6 Questions to Ask Before Doing Community Outreach

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Years ago, many churches operated with a Field of Dreams mentality: “If you build it, they will come.” (I was in a church business meeting one time when the topic of building a new sanctuary was being discussed and that line was quoted!) The problem is that this attractional ministry imagination proved flawed. People are not standing by waiting for a reason to come to our churches. Rather, we need to have a missional, or incarnational, ministry imagination—one that drives us into our communities to love our neighbors and serve them. 

Many times, we as kids ministry leaders are asked to spearhead community outreach. Perhaps because we tend to be the uber-creatives on a staff team. Perhaps because the pastor thinks we have tons of free time on our hands. Whatever the reason, if you have been asked to plan a community outreach, here are six questions you need to ask before you do anything else: 

  1. Why are we doing an outreach? 

This question will require you to pursue honesty—perhaps brutal honesty—from your fellow staff team and church. Why do you want to do an outreach? Really? The knee-jerk answer will be to love the community. But sometimes that isn’t the real reason. Sometimes we do outreach for ourselves. We do outreach to grow the church, not for God’s glory, but for our own. We want to be in that church—the one the other churches talk about and are jealous of. Or we want more people so our budgets can increase so we can in turn have nicer things. It isn’t hard to see how God will likely not honor whatever outreach we do if this is what drives it. If you really want to get to the heart motivation of an outreach, ask this: “What if we are successful and we have tons of new families start attending. But all of these families have little money to tithe. And all these families would be of a different socioeconomic, political, ethnic, etc. background than the core of the church. How would we feel about that?” If that thought excites your church, you are ready to proceed. 

  1. What does our community need?

At the risk of asking the obvious, if your outreach event doesn’t meet a need, why do it? If your church cannot answer this question, it also might reveal that you don’t know your community well enough. Maybe the step you need to take is getting to know the community more by being a bigger part of it. Or perhaps, that leads you to the type of outreach event you need, one that gives you an opportunity to foster meaningful relationships. 

  1. What kind of impact are we looking to make?

Are you looking to “wow” your community? Are you looking to show your community that you care? Are you targeting one part of your community or all of it? Answering this question will help you determine what resources you might need (I served at churches in central Florida where “wowing” required a whole new level with a little place called Disney up the road) and what type of outreach event to do. 

  1. Are we looking for one-time or recurring outreach? 

Related to the previous question, are you looking for a one-time, stand-alone outreach or a recurring one? You would want to be very careful about setting expectations for a recurring outreach if you are not committed and able to meet them. Helping a school one time is great, but not if you promise to come regularly and never show up again. Your outreach to those kids, teachers, and families likely just made them out of reach.

  1. What win are we going after? 

This question might feel crass and utilitarian, but it is important. You need to have a win, or a goal, in mind to give the outreach event purpose and help you evaluate its effectiveness to consider for future outreaches. Is the win the number of people who participate? The number of gift cards given away? The depth of relationships developed? The different way the community sees your church or Christ?

  1. What lead and lag measures will we use? 

A lead measure is an action we take that we can control. A lag measure is a result of the lead measures we take. So for example, if your outreach event is a sports day camp for kids, the lag measure—your win—might be having 100 kids from the community participate. (By the way, you would want to exclude your church kids from that count to be true to your goal.) But you cannot control that number. You cannot make anyone attend. So what can you control to help reach that goal? Perhaps the number of personal invitations, the number of ads you run on a local radio station, and the number of fliers you hang. These would all be lead measures you can control and evaluate to determine why you reached your goal or why you did not and what you can do better for the next one.

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to Lifeway. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Devotional, Evangelism, Leadership, Ministry

6 Steps to Follow When You Have Been Asked to Preach

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So you have been asked to preach. Pretty exciting, isn’t it? Unnerving too. Most kids pastors don’t get to preach very often, if ever. What you may have learned about preaching in seminary has either been forgotten or become quite rusty. If that’s the case, here is a primer featuring six key steps to take as you prepare to preach, and then as you preach, God’s Word.  

1. Choose Your Approach

One of your first, and more important, decisions is the approach you will take when you preach. You have two options: a kids ministry approach or an adult approach. Here’s what I mean. 

In a kids ministry approach, your goal is to give the adults a snapshot of what happens in kids ministry. Your sermon that day would therefore be full of illustrations, visuals, and even group participation. In essence, you are crafting a typical kids experience, just with adults in the place of your kids. The advantage of this approach is that it helps cast vision for your kids ministry. But there is a downside, and it is a big one. A worship gathering is not designed to be a commercial, no matter how noble the reason. Worship and preaching are weighty. Unless you have been asked to take this approach by your pastor, I would opt for the next approach.

In an adult approach, your goal is to preach God’s Word as your pastor would any other week. This approach honors the intent of a worship gathering and the preaching of Scripture but it also has another important secondary win beyond that. In many churches, the kids pastor is seen as a second-tier pastor—not a “real” pastor. The more your people see you handling the Scripture seriously and demonstrating love, wisdom, and passion as you preach, the more they will come to see you as they should—as a “true” pastor. Plus, it will help parents trust and appreciate your spiritual leadership over their children all the more. 

2. Choose Your Text

When you sit down to decide the text you will preach, it is so tempting to think through recent lessons you may have taught in your kids ministry, find a good one, and preach that. Resist that urge. While you may end up with that text, there is a much better approach. 

Preaching is not about the one preaching; it’s about the ones hearing the preaching. In other words, the congregation must be our starting point. That lesson you recently taught may have been great for you. It may have been great for your kids. But it might not be what the congregation needs. Spend time praying about that last part: what does the congregation need to hear? What gospel truth do they need to understand better or be reminded of? Let that drive the text that you select.  

I need to mention one other major caution here. Whatever you do, do not start with an illustration and design a sermon around it. We are called to preach the gospel using illustrations, not to preach illustrations using the gospel. 

3. Discover the Meaning

This is where the hard work—and the great fun—of preaching begins. Once you have selected the text, it is time to discover its meaning. This should not be foreign to us; we should do this whenever we teach anyone of any age. 

First, you want to read the surrounding context of the passage you are preaching—preferably the entire book it is in. This is important because the Bible is not a collection of stand-along passages, grouped randomly. The writer of each book had a purpose in writing—he was crafting an argument. Our goal is to understand what that goal was and how the passage we are preaching fits within it. 

Second, you want to understand the three “worlds” of the text: the world behind the text, the world of the text, and the world in front of the text.(1) The world behind the text is the context that the original audience may have understood that informs what was written. For example, if you are preaching from 1 John, you need to understand the Gnostic threat to the church. If you are preaching from Matthew, you need to know that this Gospel was written to a Jewish audience. The world of the text concerns the text itself. The grammar and vocabulary used. The argument being made. The basic meaning. The world in front of the text is what is most often neglected. This is the ideal world that the writer presented. This is the reason the writer wrote what he did—what he was doing with the text. Every passage is calling our attention to the ways of God—His intention for how we are to live. This is the world in front of the text. 

An example might help. Think of Matthew’s genealogy at the start of his Gospel. The world behind the text would include knowing the Jewish audience and understanding as much as we can about the individuals mentioned in the genealogy. The world of the text would notice the cadence of the genealogy and how it is broken five times to include women. The world in front of the text would then ask what Matthew’s purpose was in beginning with the genealogy and structuring it the way he did: to link his Gospel to the Old Testament and to highlight that God has always used all people—men and women, Jew and Gentile (three, if not four, of the women mentioned were Gentiles—even broken people, in His purposes and that he will bring all people together in Jesus. That message is important because it sets the stage for all that follows in the Gospel. 

4. Follow the Text

You have the text and you know what it means—what you need to communicate to the congregation. Now it is time to structure the sermon. The temptation is to break the sermon into three parts, and then add an introduction and a conclusion. Once again, resist the natural urge. You might end up there, but you might not. 

Don’t force the text into a generic sermon structure, no matter how common it is. Rather, structure the sermon around the text. If the text drives to two parts, have two parts in your sermon, not three. If you are preaching a story, don’t structure the sermon around ideas at all; structure the sermon based on the movements of the story. Follow wherever the text leads. 

That includes your tone too. If the text is one of joy and celebration, let that drive how you preach. If the text is one of lament, preach with a disposition that aligns with that. The Bible includes different genres and moods for a reason–match your sermon with those of your text. 

5. Find Your Voice

A common mistake among preachers is to copy the style of their favorite preachers—the ones they listen to regularly. Once more, resist the urge to do this. There is nothing wrong with listening to great preachers—they are a gift from God. But don’t be them; be you. Appreciate others. Learn from others. But let others be others. You be you. Bring your own personality and style to your sermon. 

6. Exalt Jesus

I would be remiss if I failed to remind you of the most important part of preaching—making much of Jesus. Care for the congregation and serve them well. Let your own personality shine through the sermon. But when it is all said and done, you want the congregation to leave in greater awe of and with deeper love for Christ. That is the beacon you are pursuing. Let all of the journey—preparation and presentation—drive toward that lofty goal. 

  1. For more about this, see Abraham Kuruvilla. Privilege the Text: A Theological Hermeneutic for Preaching. (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2013.)

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to Lifeway. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Discipleship, Evangelism, Ministry, Technology

Developing an iPhone and Android Ministry

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Both the new and improved and the tried and true have important places in our kids ministries. In this post we will seek to strike a balance in ministry that includes a healthy mixture of both. 

Several years ago, I made the switch from being an iPhone user to an Android user. I loved the iPhone, but I had grown weary of feeling like I always needed to “keep up with the Joneses.” Every year or so, a new iPhone would release making the one I had feel obsolete even though I had been perfectly content with it just before the new phone’s release was announced. Now, though, I tend to use my Android device as long as I want—perhaps too long sometimes. I only change phones if mine breaks or the apps bog it down so much that it stops working. 

Let’s shift gears and consider this in light of kids ministry. Do you tend to see ministry through an iPhone lens or an Android lens? Are you always looking for what is new and exciting, even if what you have now works, or do you hold onto what you have no matter what else is out there? While when it comes to phones we need to choose one or the other, when it comes to ministry we can, and should, choose both. Our ministries need to be part iPhone and part Android. 

Android Ministry. There are some things in our ministries that not only should not be changed, they must not be changed. The gospel heads that list. When it comes to the core of what our ministries are based on—the gospel—there is absolutely no room for “new and improved.” When it feels as if we are teaching the same things to our kids over and over, we are probably on safe ground. We are never to sacrifice gospel faithfulness on the altar of novelty. Besides, remember that most of your kids attend once every two to four weeks so what feels highly repetitious to you may not be at all for them. 

There are plenty of other areas where change would be permissible, but may not be best. The curriculum you use is a perfect example of this. If you are using a curriculum that is gospel-centered and that aligns with your values and objectives, stick with it for the long-term. Don’t change just because you have the itch for something new. New and exciting often need to kneel at the feet of tried and faithful. 

Another area of ministry where the default should be Android is leadership. Strive to develop leaders who are in it for the long haul. There is beauty and power in leaders who have built long-term relationships with kids and families and who have ample ministry experience.  

iPhone Ministry. Just as new isn’t better at times, neither is old. We have all rubbed shoulders with the “But we have always done it that way” mentality that can easily stifle effective ministry. Many changes are for the better. Think of the development of technology in ministry. Think of how much better computer security check-in and projection systems make our ministries. While the gospel is an unchanging Android part of our ministries, many of the methods and activities can, and often should be, iPhone. 

A good example of this is partnering with parents and families. Years ago, there was more of a mentality that the church was the primary place of discipleship of children. Parents were just needed to bring their kids to church. But recently, we have seen a greater emphasis in returning to a healthy, biblical, balanced approach where parents are seen as the primary disciplers and churches partner with them. This has impacted many of the ways we minister and even resources that we use and suggest. Does your church have a parent resource corner? That was an important iPhone decision at some point. 

As we can see, we make a mistake if we build a ministry that is exclusively iPhone or Android in its approach. We need both, always being careful to consider what is the best approach for that particular part of our ministry and why.

Discipleship, Family, kids101

3 Big Truths I Wish I Had Learned as a Kid

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It wasn’t a difficult choice really. My family was living in suburban Baltimore, Maryland, when my father shared that his company had asked him to work in Hawaii for a couple of years. We loved where we lived in Maryland—it was home for both of my parents and all of our extended family lived in the area—but you cannot pass up the opportunity to live in a tropical paradise. So we packed up our home, put on short-sleeve shirts in the middle of the winter, and jumped on a plane.

Here is what I remember most from my time in Hawaii as a seven- and eight-year-old kid: I trusted in Christ and was baptized at Mililani Baptist Church, the school lunches were terrible, and my parents often wanted to take dreadfully boring drives around the island we lived on, Oahu.  Yes, you read that right. I was in the middle of one of the most beautiful places in the world—a place people dream of visiting and where Magnum drove around in a red Ferrari (no, we never saw him)—and I was bored by it all. I was simply too young to appreciate it at the time. I look back now and wish I had been able to drink it all in, but as the saying goes, youth is wasted on the young.

I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish I could have appreciated the beauty of Hawaii and savored every moment of living there. But that is far from what I most wish I had understood as a child. Rather, what I most wish I could have understood better was the gospel. Here are three big truths about God—about the gospel—that I wish I had known.

Big Truth 1: In Christ, God Has Credited Me with Christ’s Righteousness

I loved my Sunday School teacher in Hawaii. The axiom is true: I remember very little of what Mr. Chen taught me, but I remember that he cared about me. I remember his encouragement and grace as I tried my best to memorize the books of the New Testament to participate in an ice cream party. And I remember my family eating dinner in his home. Mr. Chen was faithful to his calling, and because of that (and my parents), I heard the gospel and I trusted in Christ.

I knew that I was a sinner. I knew that Jesus is the Son of God. I knew that Jesus died for my sins and that He rose from the grave.

But here is what I didn’t know: that Jesus is a kind and generous companion. He did not take my sin from me and give me nothing in exchange. Rather, He gave me His righteousness. I knew the John 3:16 of the gospel, but I didn’t know the 2 Corinthians 5:21 of the gospel.

Had I only known. I spent years after trying to earn God’s favor by obeying enough, never feeling confident that God loved me and accepted me fully because I knew my obedience was never full. Had I only known then what I know now, that God’s acceptance and love for me is indeed full and perfect because they are not based on what I have done or might do, but rather on what Christ has done—His life of perfect obedience.

Big Truth 2: God Is Sovereign, and That’s a Good Thing

We ended up living in Hawaii for about 18 months of the 24 months we were supposed to. Midway through our time there, my father’s company had a new idea: how great it would be if we lived in Munich, Germany, for a while. So we put on snow suits and jumped on a plane headed to Europe. I loved my time in Germany. By this time I had reached the age where I could actually appreciate it, and looking back, those five years were among the best of my life. My time in Europe shaped me in critical ways and I am grateful that God, in His kindness, sent us there.

But that is the second big truth I wish I had known as a kid. I know it now, but didn’t know it then—that God is sovereign and that going to Germany wasn’t a matter of chance. It was part of God’s design for my life. At the time, I don’t think I ever even heard of the word sovereign, let alone grappled with its meaning. I thought life was just happening around me, and as I plunged into my teenage years, the worries of fitting in, dating, nuclear war—yeah, that was a thing then, and so on plagued me at times.

We know that there is a tension between human responsibility and God’s sovereignty, at least from our perspective. We know that the Bible teaches both and that we must embrace both. We are to take our decisions seriously, but at the same time, we are to rest securely in God’s sovereignty. I wish I had understood this back when I was a kid. I wish I would have had the ability to take my worries, my cares, and my uncertainties and lay them before our loving, sovereign God. Had I only known that I cannot mess up what God controls.

Big Truth 3: Everything Was Created for God’s Glory

When I was in Hawaii as a kid, I failed to appreciate its beauty. God’s fingerprints were all around me but I was clueless to it all. My time in Europe, however, was a different story. I was amazed by the splendor of Germany, Austria, and Switzerland. I appreciated the different cultures. And I was grateful to be around so much history.

I was closer, but still not all of the way there. All of what I appreciated and enjoyed was for me. I liked going to Paris and Venice. I liked skiing in the Alps. I liked eating the different foods. There’s nothing wrong with any of that, of course, but what I failed to do is reach the true end of all of it. Paris, Venice, the Alps, and wienerschnitzel were not created ultimately to bring delight to me, but rather so that I might ultimately delight in their creator, God. My delight in those good things was to be a conduit toward a greater delight in the giver of those good things.

Had I only known then what I am continuing to learn today: that God is our greatest good and that everything was created for His glory. My enjoyment of those things would have been further magnified, but more importantly, I would have been able to worship God through those things, which I did not do as a kid. Oh, if I could only go back and worship God in the Alps. If only I could have connected God’s goodness to every good thing I experienced.

As I reflect over these memories and experiences, I am not filled with regret of what I missed then. Far from it—I am filled with a deeper sense of awe of God’s mercy and grace. That He lavished such good things on such an undeserving kid—such a clueless, ungrateful kid—fills me with great joy. And it also encourages me to seek God’s face in the moments of my days today, and to help my kids do the same.

Kids Ministry, Sunday School, Teaching Kids

Have I Got the Perfect Illustration!

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You have it! The perfect illustration. It’s fun. It’s memorable. You can pull it off. It’s absolutely perfect. 

Now what? 

You might feel tempted to force that illustration into your next kids lesson no matter what. Or perhaps even to design a talk around it. It’s so good! 

Don’t. 

I know you mean well and you are excited about the potential impact of the illustration, but we cannot allow illustrations to drive our teaching. God’s Word, and God’s Word alone, should do that. Illustrations illustrate core truths of the Bible. Don’t flip this and make the Bible illustrate an illustration. Beyond that, if you force the illustration where it doesn’t really fit, you lessen its impact. Don’t turn that “10” illustration into a “7” or “8” because the connection is shaky. 

So what do you do? Add it to your database. 

You don’t have a database of illustrations? Then this is the time to start. It’s one of the easier things you can do in ministry, but it has a huge payoff. 

First, choose the medium for your database. You could go the simple route and use a word processing document or spreadsheet. Or, you can go the more elaborate route and use an app like Evernote. Then, you have the over-the-top route of an app like Scrivener that would also help you write your lessons, sermons, and so forth, too. 

Once you have your medium, start dropping in all of the illustrations, jokes, quotes, and stories you have jotted down on sticky notes through the years. Beyond that, consider spending some time searching the Internet for more. Just be sure to attribute the sources. 

You will also want to create a tagging system to make it easy to find the illustration you need. Create tags based on themes—e.g. money, anger, family, Christmas—and also Bible passage. If you are using a word processing app or spreadsheet, you might just want to put each tag in brackets and then search the document or sheet for that bracketed tag, such as “[love]”. If you use an app like Evernote or Scrivener, the ability to tag is built right in.  

Once your database is built and going, you would then add content as you come across it. This is when it would help if the database is accessible on your smartphone. If you see an illustration, you can open it right up and drop it in. 

When you use an item from the database, make a note of the date it was used so you avoid reusing the same content repeatedly. If you teach or speak to different groups, you might want to also add a note of how well the content worked in your talk. That might help you refine it and make it even better for the next time.

One final note is worth mentioning: sometimes the best illustration is the one you don’t use. There are times when an illustration—any illustration—actually hinders teaching rather than helping it. For example, any illustration attempting to explain the Triune nature of God is going to hurt more than it helps. They all quickly and easily lapse into theological error. Using any of them—eggs, water, roles of a man—will make a wrong teaching of the Trinity clear. Exactly what we don’t want: error sticking in the minds of our kids. Illustrations often help, but not always. Sometimes it is best to let the more challenging teachings of God be a little more challenging.

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to Lifeway. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Encouragement

Knowing that You Are Known

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We talk quite a bit about knowing God, and we should. We want to help our kids come to know who God is, what He is like, and what He has done for us by providing Jesus Christ. But knowing God is only half of the relationship; we are also known by God. And in many ways, that is even more amazing. 

In his book Known by God, Brian Rosner wants us to drink in this deep, beautiful truth: in Christ, we are known by God. “According to the Bible,” he writes, “in order to know who you are, you have to know whose you are. We are defined by our relationships, by who we know, and who knows us. And when it comes to personal identity, both the Old and New Testaments agree that being known by God is of critical importance.”(1) 

Rosner points to three aspects of the believer being known by God that are helpful for us to keep in mind as we disciple kids. 

  1. We belong to God. 

To say that God knows us doesn’t mean that He is merely aware of our existence. God doesn’t know of us like we know of a famous athlete or actor, or person from history. God knows us on a personal level. And even more than that, to say that God knows us is to say that we belong to Him. We are His people.

When a kid trusts in Christ, this is true of him or her in full. We want to help our kids understand this amazing truth. In Christ, they belong to God and that is a glorious truth. We are all part of His people, the church, a people special to Him, loved by Him, and given a mission to make much of Him every day.

  1. We have been chosen by God. 

There is quite a bit of debate about what it means to be chosen by God and how that works. It’s an important discussion, but we cannot miss the proverbial forest for the trees. In some way, somehow, God chooses us. And even if we might not understand or agree about God’s choosing in relation to salvation, we should all be able to agree that if nothing else, God chooses us to serve Him in unique ways. While we all have the shared mission of making disciple-making disciples, how exactly we do that differs greatly.

We want to help our kids who have trusted in Christ understand that God has chosen them. He wants to use them in special ways and He has equipped them and will empower them to do whatever those are. And this isn’t something way down the line when they become adults, or even teenagers. God has chosen them for a mission right now. Their lives have meaning and purpose beyond their wildest dreams. 

  1. We are children of God. 

It has often been said that everyone is a child of God, but that’s not correct. While God acts fatherly toward all humanity, He is only Father of those who have trusted in Christ—those whom He has adopted as His children. To say that we are known by God is to say that we are His children.

Some of our kids might come from great homes with loving, yet imperfect families. But some of our kids come from homes that would make us weep if we knew what they experienced. Sin is ugly and the home is often hardest hit with its venom. Our kids need to know, however, that in Christ they have a perfect Father. A loving Father. A gracious and generous Father. A Father who will never fail them. Never leave them. Never abuse them. Never neglect them. And not only that, they have brothers and sisters in Christ to walk with them through anything they might face in life. To be known by God is to be part of His family forevermore. 

Brian S. Rosner, Known by God: A Biblical Theology of Identity (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2017), 137. Kindle edition.

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to Lifeway. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Kids Ministry

Ready for Baptism?

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One of the most common questions parents and kids leaders ask is whether or not a kid is ready to be baptized. In this post, three ways to answer this question will be explored.  

How do we know when a child is ready to be baptized? This is a difficult question for many parents, kids leaders, and pastors, one that we all want to get right. How we answer this,  though, hinges on our doctrine of baptism. If we don’t have a clear view of that doctrine, then this question will be incredibly difficult to answer. But once we determine that doctrine, the right question to ask to determine if a child is ready to be baptized comes into clearer focus. 

What follows is three views of baptism—all coming from the presupposition that baptism is not an act of salvation, but rather an act of obedience done by believers. These views, then, are distinguished from each other by the precise role that baptism is understood to play in affirming a person’s salvation. For simplicity, I will call them delayed, quick, and immediate baptisms, defining them by when baptism is best believed to occur. We will interact with them from most complex to least complex. 

DELAYED BAPTISM

Question to ask: Has there been any fruit of faith? This view stresses the importance of believer’s baptism and seeks to safeguard it as much as possible. The thinking is that a child does not need to be baptized to be saved, so a delay between a confession of faith (such as raising a hand or walking forward in a worship gathering) is not harmful. However, what is often harmful is when children who have not genuinely placed faith in Jesus are baptized, giving them the false notion that they are good with God. 

This understanding of baptism then produces a goal of seeing evidence of salvation in a child before he or she is baptized. The hope is that if the child one day in the future questions his or her salvation, parents and leaders can point to a public confession of faith and evidence of conversion to affirm his or her salvation as best as possible. 

The question then becomes what sort of fruit is to be seen and how much fruit is sufficient? The latter question depends on how long the delay between confession of faith and baptism is. The longer the time, the more fruit might be needed. Spiritual maturity generally occurs in ebbs and flows, but over time, marked progress should be seen. The former question usually draws parents and leaders to look for the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) as well as a deeper desire and practice of the spiritual disciplines such as Bible reading and prayer. Some parents and leaders also abstain from talking about baptism during this delayed period to see how much the child mentions it—a possible sign of a true desire to obey God.

Baptism in this view, therefore, is a critical marker in verifying a person’s salvation. 

QUICK BAPTISM

Question to ask: Has there been a confession of faith? Like Delayed Baptism, this view also stresses the importance of protecting believer’s baptism, but it is not as rigid in requiring to see fruit before baptizing. Rather, this view looks for a confession of faith (again, such as raising a hand or walking forward in a worship gathering) which is usually followed by an interview with the child before he or she would be considered for baptism. 

During this interview, the goal is to identify an understanding of salvation in a child before he or she is baptized. Generally, the parent, leader, or pastor will seek to hear the child articulate the gospel, without coaching, and also to hear the child’s personal assent to the gospel—an awareness of sin, repentance of sin, recognition of who Jesus is and what He did on the cross, and a decision to trust in Jesus. If the child seems to have an appropriate understanding of the gospel, he or she is baptized soon after. 

Baptism in this view, therefore, is an important marker in affirming a person’s salvation. 

IMMEDIATE BAPTISM

Question to ask: Has there been a profession of faith? Like Delayed and Quick Baptism, Immediate Baptism also affirms believer’s baptism; however, this view doesn’t see baptism as following a confession of faith, but as that confession of faith. In other words, faith is not confessed in a raised hand or by walking to the front of a worship gathering, but rather in baptism itself. A person professes faith in Christ and confesses that faith in Christ in baptism. The two are tied closely together, more than in the Quick Baptism view and much more than in the Delayed Baptism view.  

Proponents of this view would answer a future question of a person’s salvation by pointing him or her to baptism. Baptism is held up as the time when a person took a public stand to associate with Christ and His church. That in itself is evidence of salvation. (This association is seen more clearly in the New Testament when being a follower of Christ was risky, as well as in places of the world today where persecution exists. Being baptized in that context is not taken lightly, adding weight to the act.) Those who hold this view, then, would baptize anyone who professes belief in Jesus and desires to be baptized. A brief interview may occur right before the baptism, or the questions asked of the baptism candidate in the baptism waters just before baptism would serve as such an interview affirming belief in Jesus prior to the baptism. 

Baptism in this view, therefore, is an important marker in affirming a person’s profession of faith.

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to Lifeway. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Encouragement, Kids Ministry

How to Keep Clean Amid the Garbage of Social Media

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Social media is both a blessing and a curse. In this post six suggestions are offered to help leaders be wise in their media consumption and engagement. 

GIGO is an old axiom of computer programming that stands for Garbage In, Garbage Out. Basically, if your coding is weak (Garbage In), the program’s execution will be weak too (Garbage Out). This axiom was crafted long before social media, but it certainly applies to it, doesn’t it? It seems that social media is full of garbage and it can be quite difficult to participate in it while staying clean. But as followers of Jesus, and especially as leaders in kids ministry, we have to. We need to protect our spirit and our witness before our kids and families as well as a watching world. How can we do this? NOGIGO. No Garbage In. No Garbage Out. Here’s how that works:

NO GARBAGE IN

Consume social media intentionally. For some, the answer is to abstain from social media. That is understandable and for some it might be necessary. But while social media can certainly be quite harmful, it can also be quite helpful. Not only is it a way to stay connected, but it is a way to keep a finger on the pulse of our culture and the church as well. It’s a way to see trends that might be affecting our kids and their families. Most of us, then, should begin by deciding why we are consuming social media and keep that purpose in mind. 

Consume social media wisely. One of the dangers of social media is that it can be a black hole that sucks us in and takes us to bad places we don’t want to go to. Not only is there so much ungodly content, but there is so much bickering, slander, and misinformation as well. And I am not just talking about from our culture—that last part comes from the church too. We need to be wise in how we consume social media so that we can protect our minds and hearts. That begins with monitoring the time we give to it, but also includes the content itself. While we will want to follow diverse views, we shouldn’t follow toxic accounts. 

Consume social media graciously. Perhaps the greatest danger of social media is that it can easily strip a person’s humanity away. It’s easy to forget that behind every 280 character tweet is an image bearer of God. Instead, we can easily reduce people to viewpoints, and if we reject the viewpoint, we find ourselves rejecting the person as well. Social media feeds the sinful binary proposition of “us against them.” There surely is a binary “us and them” presented in Scripture—the church and the world—but notice the middle word is “and” not “against.” Ephesians 6:12 says that no other person is to be our enemy. Rather, we should love all people and desire that all come to repentance of sin. As we consume social media, we need to do so with grace and compassion, not condemnation and intolerance. We need to fight sin in our hearts and strive to think the best, not the worst, of all others. 

NO GARBAGE OUT

Engage in social media intentionally. Just as we need to be wise in what we consume, we need to be wise in what we post. Before we post, we need to consider if what we are about to say is righteous, honoring, helpful, and humble. One of the dangers of social media is that it easily creates modern day Pharisees. Saying something right with the wrong heart makes it not right. Just as saying something wrong from the right heart doesn’t make it right. We need to make sure that all we post is right and that it comes from the right heart. Or else we don’t post it. 

Engage in social media wisely. Another danger of social media is that it feeds the ego. It causes us to think that our perspective is critical and that everyone needs to hear every idea we have about every issue. That simply is not true. Rather, we need to be wise in not only how to engage, but when to engage and when not to engage. There are some squables that are not worth wading into. There are some subjects that are better left alone. Sometimes social media is the worst possible way to work through subjects. We need to be wise and humble to know when to abstain from clicking “post.”  

Engage in social media graciously. Just as there are times when wisdom calls on us to abstain from posting, there are times when wisdom demands that we do. But even then we need to be gracious in what we post. We need to be fair to anyone we are responding to and not misrepresent them. We need to be gracious in recognizing the validity of positions that others hold that we disagree with but that can be supported from Scripture. We need to abstain from demanding that only people who agree exactly with us on every position are godly. Basically we need to remember that our goal is not to win Internet debates, but rather to be winsome servants of King Jesus displaying His fragrance among what is often the putrid stench of social media. 

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to Lifeway. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

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