Kids Ministry

Dedicated to helping Kids Ministry leaders in their mission of making disciples

Discipleship, Parent Helps, Parenting

The Role of Parents as the Primary Discipler of Their Children

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We’ve all heard the command of God through Moses to parents. These familiar words found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 encourage parents to be about the business of teaching the things of God to their children. This passage was one that was recited each day by faithful Hebrews. Today this passage is often used to encourage parents to be the champion for their children’s spiritual growth. The part that seems to be missing is the why. Why was it important for parents to teach their children the things of the Lord and recall the great and mighty deeds that God had done? A clue can be found in the Book of Psalms. 

Psalm 78 is a song of Asaph. The psalms of Asaph were written by either Asaph a temple leader under David’s reign, or any number of temple leaders given a similar designation. This Psalm reviews the history of Israel’s walk with God and sheds light on the importance of parents being responsible for teaching their children about the things of God. 

In the first eight verses of this Psalm, the writer illuminates the why behind the command. In one of my favorite verses in all of Scripture, Psalm 78:6 tells us that we are teaching our children, so not just our children, but a future generation—children yet to be born—might know. God’s command to parents to be the spiritual teachers of their children is not just to benefit the current generation, but to influence a generation that is yet to be born. By discipling our children, we also pass on the teachings of God’s wonderful works to the generation beyond. 

God’s Word is full of the mighty deeds that God has done. We as parents can pass on that knowledge, not just to our children, but to our children’s children and beyond. 

Discipleship, Evangelism, Ministry, Technology

Developing an iPhone and Android Ministry

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Both the new and improved and the tried and true have important places in our kids ministries. In this post we will seek to strike a balance in ministry that includes a healthy mixture of both. 

Several years ago, I made the switch from being an iPhone user to an Android user. I loved the iPhone, but I had grown weary of feeling like I always needed to “keep up with the Joneses.” Every year or so, a new iPhone would release making the one I had feel obsolete even though I had been perfectly content with it just before the new phone’s release was announced. Now, though, I tend to use my Android device as long as I want—perhaps too long sometimes. I only change phones if mine breaks or the apps bog it down so much that it stops working. 

Let’s shift gears and consider this in light of kids ministry. Do you tend to see ministry through an iPhone lens or an Android lens? Are you always looking for what is new and exciting, even if what you have now works, or do you hold onto what you have no matter what else is out there? While when it comes to phones we need to choose one or the other, when it comes to ministry we can, and should, choose both. Our ministries need to be part iPhone and part Android. 

Android Ministry. There are some things in our ministries that not only should not be changed, they must not be changed. The gospel heads that list. When it comes to the core of what our ministries are based on—the gospel—there is absolutely no room for “new and improved.” When it feels as if we are teaching the same things to our kids over and over, we are probably on safe ground. We are never to sacrifice gospel faithfulness on the altar of novelty. Besides, remember that most of your kids attend once every two to four weeks so what feels highly repetitious to you may not be at all for them. 

There are plenty of other areas where change would be permissible, but may not be best. The curriculum you use is a perfect example of this. If you are using a curriculum that is gospel-centered and that aligns with your values and objectives, stick with it for the long-term. Don’t change just because you have the itch for something new. New and exciting often need to kneel at the feet of tried and faithful. 

Another area of ministry where the default should be Android is leadership. Strive to develop leaders who are in it for the long haul. There is beauty and power in leaders who have built long-term relationships with kids and families and who have ample ministry experience.  

iPhone Ministry. Just as new isn’t better at times, neither is old. We have all rubbed shoulders with the “But we have always done it that way” mentality that can easily stifle effective ministry. Many changes are for the better. Think of the development of technology in ministry. Think of how much better computer security check-in and projection systems make our ministries. While the gospel is an unchanging Android part of our ministries, many of the methods and activities can, and often should be, iPhone. 

A good example of this is partnering with parents and families. Years ago, there was more of a mentality that the church was the primary place of discipleship of children. Parents were just needed to bring their kids to church. But recently, we have seen a greater emphasis in returning to a healthy, biblical, balanced approach where parents are seen as the primary disciplers and churches partner with them. This has impacted many of the ways we minister and even resources that we use and suggest. Does your church have a parent resource corner? That was an important iPhone decision at some point. 

As we can see, we make a mistake if we build a ministry that is exclusively iPhone or Android in its approach. We need both, always being careful to consider what is the best approach for that particular part of our ministry and why.

Discipleship, Family, kids101

3 Big Truths I Wish I Had Learned as a Kid

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It wasn’t a difficult choice really. My family was living in suburban Baltimore, Maryland, when my father shared that his company had asked him to work in Hawaii for a couple of years. We loved where we lived in Maryland—it was home for both of my parents and all of our extended family lived in the area—but you cannot pass up the opportunity to live in a tropical paradise. So we packed up our home, put on short-sleeve shirts in the middle of the winter, and jumped on a plane.

Here is what I remember most from my time in Hawaii as a seven- and eight-year-old kid: I trusted in Christ and was baptized at Mililani Baptist Church, the school lunches were terrible, and my parents often wanted to take dreadfully boring drives around the island we lived on, Oahu.  Yes, you read that right. I was in the middle of one of the most beautiful places in the world—a place people dream of visiting and where Magnum drove around in a red Ferrari (no, we never saw him)—and I was bored by it all. I was simply too young to appreciate it at the time. I look back now and wish I had been able to drink it all in, but as the saying goes, youth is wasted on the young.

I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish I could have appreciated the beauty of Hawaii and savored every moment of living there. But that is far from what I most wish I had understood as a child. Rather, what I most wish I could have understood better was the gospel. Here are three big truths about God—about the gospel—that I wish I had known.

Big Truth 1: In Christ, God Has Credited Me with Christ’s Righteousness

I loved my Sunday School teacher in Hawaii. The axiom is true: I remember very little of what Mr. Chen taught me, but I remember that he cared about me. I remember his encouragement and grace as I tried my best to memorize the books of the New Testament to participate in an ice cream party. And I remember my family eating dinner in his home. Mr. Chen was faithful to his calling, and because of that (and my parents), I heard the gospel and I trusted in Christ.

I knew that I was a sinner. I knew that Jesus is the Son of God. I knew that Jesus died for my sins and that He rose from the grave.

But here is what I didn’t know: that Jesus is a kind and generous companion. He did not take my sin from me and give me nothing in exchange. Rather, He gave me His righteousness. I knew the John 3:16 of the gospel, but I didn’t know the 2 Corinthians 5:21 of the gospel.

Had I only known. I spent years after trying to earn God’s favor by obeying enough, never feeling confident that God loved me and accepted me fully because I knew my obedience was never full. Had I only known then what I know now, that God’s acceptance and love for me is indeed full and perfect because they are not based on what I have done or might do, but rather on what Christ has done—His life of perfect obedience.

Big Truth 2: God Is Sovereign, and That’s a Good Thing

We ended up living in Hawaii for about 18 months of the 24 months we were supposed to. Midway through our time there, my father’s company had a new idea: how great it would be if we lived in Munich, Germany, for a while. So we put on snow suits and jumped on a plane headed to Europe. I loved my time in Germany. By this time I had reached the age where I could actually appreciate it, and looking back, those five years were among the best of my life. My time in Europe shaped me in critical ways and I am grateful that God, in His kindness, sent us there.

But that is the second big truth I wish I had known as a kid. I know it now, but didn’t know it then—that God is sovereign and that going to Germany wasn’t a matter of chance. It was part of God’s design for my life. At the time, I don’t think I ever even heard of the word sovereign, let alone grappled with its meaning. I thought life was just happening around me, and as I plunged into my teenage years, the worries of fitting in, dating, nuclear war—yeah, that was a thing then, and so on plagued me at times.

We know that there is a tension between human responsibility and God’s sovereignty, at least from our perspective. We know that the Bible teaches both and that we must embrace both. We are to take our decisions seriously, but at the same time, we are to rest securely in God’s sovereignty. I wish I had understood this back when I was a kid. I wish I would have had the ability to take my worries, my cares, and my uncertainties and lay them before our loving, sovereign God. Had I only known that I cannot mess up what God controls.

Big Truth 3: Everything Was Created for God’s Glory

When I was in Hawaii as a kid, I failed to appreciate its beauty. God’s fingerprints were all around me but I was clueless to it all. My time in Europe, however, was a different story. I was amazed by the splendor of Germany, Austria, and Switzerland. I appreciated the different cultures. And I was grateful to be around so much history.

I was closer, but still not all of the way there. All of what I appreciated and enjoyed was for me. I liked going to Paris and Venice. I liked skiing in the Alps. I liked eating the different foods. There’s nothing wrong with any of that, of course, but what I failed to do is reach the true end of all of it. Paris, Venice, the Alps, and wienerschnitzel were not created ultimately to bring delight to me, but rather so that I might ultimately delight in their creator, God. My delight in those good things was to be a conduit toward a greater delight in the giver of those good things.

Had I only known then what I am continuing to learn today: that God is our greatest good and that everything was created for His glory. My enjoyment of those things would have been further magnified, but more importantly, I would have been able to worship God through those things, which I did not do as a kid. Oh, if I could only go back and worship God in the Alps. If only I could have connected God’s goodness to every good thing I experienced.

As I reflect over these memories and experiences, I am not filled with regret of what I missed then. Far from it—I am filled with a deeper sense of awe of God’s mercy and grace. That He lavished such good things on such an undeserving kid—such a clueless, ungrateful kid—fills me with great joy. And it also encourages me to seek God’s face in the moments of my days today, and to help my kids do the same.

Crafts, Discipleship, Fun, Kids Ministry

Getting to the Heart of It

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It may alarm you or it could cause you to burst out laughing, but listening to kids in your ministry will always educate you. What do the kids you teach care about most? What are they excited to share with you each week? For the kids you lead it may be their sports teams, a new app on their phones, their friends, or the latest video on YouTube™. Kids reveal what they love most through what they talk about regularly.

And so do you.

We all set our affections and our attention—our worship—on something or someone. We may have a thousand things we like or care about, but the passion of our hearts is to love God and worship Him. When our interests supercede our worship of God and our love for others, we have a problem. However, when we cultivate genuine worship in our hearts and teach our students that the overwhelming passion within us is to love and obey God, they will see it.

Worship is our response to what we love most. It is recognizing and responding to God as worthy, deserving of all honor and praise. (Psalm 29:2) True worship overflows from a heart that is satisfied in God and wants to glorify Him, and it affects every part of our lives.

Wouldn’t it be exciting if what captured your kids’ hearts, minds, and attention spans was true worship of God? It can!

When the kids you lead trust in Jesus for salvation, He makes them new and begins to mold or shape their lives more into the image of Jesus. As they grow in their faith, the truth of God’s Word shapes their minds and hearts and changes their actions to look more like Jesus.

This month as you celebrate Valentine’s Day, help your kids remember that their hearts can praise God no matter where they are—on their way to school, riding a bike, or even posting on social media. Anytime we set our minds and hearts on God and choose to value Him above all else, we worship Him.

For deeper Bible study resources from Lifeway Kids on worship, check out the latest volume of the preteen series Forged: Faith Refined at lifeway.com/forged.

Consider using this free craft with the kids you teach this Valentine’s Day. As you do, discuss these questions about worship:

●      What words come to mind when you hear the word worship?

●      What do you know about God that makes you want to worship Him?

●      How should knowing who God is lead you to value Him most?

●      What do you think it looks like to love God with all of our hearts?

●      How does knowing and loving God fuel our worship of Him?

Paper Plate Heart Craft (click here to download instructions)

You will need:

Small paper plates

Scissors

Pencil

Single hole punch

Tape

Colorful yarn

Guide kids to fold a paper plate in half and cut out a heart shape from the middle of the paper plate, making a template. Next, instruct them to open the heart template and place it on top of a second plate. Explain that they will trace the heart template onto the center of the second plate with a pencil. Then, they will cut out a heart shape in the center.

Use a single hole punch to punch holes around the entire perimeter of the heart shape.

Select various colors of yarn and guide kids to tape the ends so they don’t fray. Lead kids to thread the yarn through different holes of the heart and tape the yarn in place on the back of the paper plate. Continue threading the yarn around different holes choosing a variety of colors until each hole has been used. Encourage kids to place their craft in their rooms. When they see it, they can stop and remember that God wants their whole hearts to worship Him.

Kayla Stevens is the Content Editor for Lifeway Kids Discipleship. She is a graduate of Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and William Carey University. Kayla lives in Nashville, Tennessee and has served in Kids ministry for over 10 years.

Bible Skills, Discipleship, Kids Ministry

New Year Journals

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As the new year approaches, we (adults) often get ready to start a new Bible reading plan. While 89% of households own a Bible, only 19% of protestant churchgoers read the Bible daily.*  Yikes!

We also know that the most influential factor in a child developing a lifelong faith is regularly reading their Bible while growing up.* This year, why not help kids start the new year off developing the discipline of daily Bible reading.

One of the easiest ways to help kids develop the spiritual discipline of Bible reading is to allow them to create a Bible Reading Journal.

Here’s what you need: blank books, washi tape in colorful patterns, duct tape in colorful patterns, permanent markers, and pencils. Give each kid a blank book and encourage them to use the various tapes and markers to create a cover for their new Bible Reading Journal.

After kids create their journals, ask kids to write on the first page these prompts to use while they are reading their Bibles.

  1. Who is this passage about?
  2. What was God doing in this passage?
  3. Is there a command in this passage I should obey? What is that command?
  4. Do I have a question about the passage? Write them down.

Challenge kids to start with the Book of Mark. Each day they should read one section or chapter of the book and use their journals to record what they are learning.

*Statistics quoted from Nothing Less: Engaging Kids in a Lifetime of Faith by Jane Magruder.

Discipleship, Parenting

From How to Who: Unscrambling the Parent Discipleship Paradox

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One of the greatest ways we can help the kids in our ministries is by helping their parents be better disciplers. But perhaps we usually do that the wrong way: by focusing on tools and techniques rather than on the parents’ own relationship with Christ. In this blog post we use Deut. 6:4-9 as the template showing our greater need to focus on “who” than “how.”

I’m convinced that most of our parents know that they are the primary disciplers of their kids. I’m further convinced that most of our parents want to disciple their kids. But I also know that most (well, perhaps many would be less cynical) of our parents don’t disciple their kids—at least not to a meaningful degree. 

The best impact we can make on our kids is to encourage and equip parents for their role in discipling their kids. What we do with kids matters—a great deal—but if I had just one hour to make a difference in a kid’s life, I would spend those 60 minutes with her parents. But here is what I would not do during that hour: I would not spend all of it talking about how to do family worship or giving the parents resources. Those are really important, but I would reserve only the last few minutes for them. Rather, I would spend the bulk of the time focused on the topic I believe would make the greatest difference—the one which I think we are missing which is why we continue to see a lack of family discipleship. 

Parents don’t need to understand the how of family discipleship as much as they need to understand the who of family discipleship—more specifically, who they, the parents, are in Christ. You anchor that in a parent’s heart, and you give him or her what is needed to disciple. The how must follow this who. 

We see this pattern of “who then how” in the Shema, Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Notice that as a parent, I don’t see a how action point until verse 7. The first three verses—half of the passage—concern my relationship with God. God is not so subtle in His point here, is He? 

Let me go theological nerd on you for a minute—I trust you will appreciate why shortly. In Hebrew writing there is a literary device called the chiasm. Basically think of a chiasm as a sideways pyramid with the point to the right. Each layer of that pyramid relates to the mirrored one. As I study the Shema, I see a chiasm that amplifies the “who then how” principle of parent discipleship:

  • a1) A parent’s love for God (4-5)
    • b1) A parent’s love of the gospel (6)
      • c1) A parent’s grasp of the gospel (6-7)
      • c2) Repeating the gospel in structured ways (7)
    • b2) Talking about the gospel as you go in unstructured ways (7)
  • a2) Living marked by the gospel (8-9)

Let’s start from the inside, the “c” level, the hinge between who and how, and work back out. In verse 6 God tells parents that His words—the Scriptures, which I have labeled “the gospel” which is what the Scriptures are about—are to be on our hearts. On the surface, that means parents are to love the gospel, but inferred here is our need to know the gospel. You cannot love what you do not know. As a parent then—as a follower of Jesus—I need to be spending time in the Word. I need to grow in my understanding of it, which will fuel my love for it. Notice the parent discipleship action connected with it in verse 7—repeating the gospel to our kids in planned, structured ways. That makes total sense, doesn’t it? The more we know the gospel, the more we will be able and apt to repeat it to our kids. Just as you cannot love what you do not know, neither can you repeat what you do not know. So the first thing parents need to understand in order to disciple their kids is that they need to be immersed in God’s Word themselves. As a parent, I need to be a student of the Bible. That who will drive the how. 


The next level, the “b” level, is also found in verses 6 and 7. As we come to know the gospel more and more, our love for it grows proportionally. This prevailing sense of awe of what God has done through Christ is what will lead us as parents to talk about the gospel as we go—in our normal rhythms of life. When our hearts are saturated with love, joy, and gratitude for God’s kindness to us in Christ, how can we not talk about the gospel with our kids? If Jesus is our greatest treasure, how can we not share that treasure with our children? The question of what we have to do as parents in terms of discipleship becomes meaningless. “Have to” gives way to “want to” and “get to.” We want to share the gospel with our kids as part of our daily lives and we are grateful we get to do that. Once again, we see the who driving the how. 

That takes us to the final level, the “a” level, the coupling of verse 4-5 with 8-9. As we spend time in the Scriptures coming to know and love the gospel more, we will naturally come to love the Author of the Gospel more. The same “who then how” principle is at play here. The how of the gospel is critical, but it is secondary to the who of the gospel: God. The gospel compels us to love God fully—with all of our being (heart, soul, and strength). And when we do, our lives will change. We will want God to change us through the power of the gospel and live it out to bring Him glory. And as we do so, we become people marked by the gospel. The gospel becomes our core identifier, not our nationality, ethnicity, socio-economic level, or anything else. Those are not unimportant descriptors, neither are they necessarily bad. But they are not our core sense of identity. Our who rests squarely in the gospel. This is what is in mind when God says that the gospel is to be bound on our hands and foreheads and it is to be written on our doorposts and city gates. The gospel should inform all that we think and do, and it is to be an identifier of our homes, like a house address, and of our communities. The who of being a parent who loves God drives the how of living on mission for God with our families. 
This is what our parents need to know: it all starts with who they are—people who know the gospel, love the gospel, and love the God of the gospel. The how flows from that.

Brian Dembowczyk is the managing editor for The Gospel Project. He served in local church ministry for over 16 years before coming to Lifeway. Brian earned an M.Div. from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his family live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Discipleship

Crossing Life’s Checkpoints – Growing in Faith

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Back in the summer, a brief overview of Crossing Life’s CheckPoints was posted here on Kids Ministry 101. Partnering with families during some of these checkpoints of life provides natural opportunities to help parents recoup, reevaluate and realign strategies, and be refreshed for moving forward in family life. We’ve dug into Checkpoints #1 and #2 a little more. Now let’s take a closer look at Checkpoint #3: Growing in Faith.

Checkpoint #3—Growing in Faith

“What Is a Christian?” class—Kids who regularly attend church will often start asking questions about salvation and/or baptism, and parents will immediately jump to trying to schedule a child’s baptism. There is wisdom in listening to a child’s parents in determining whether their child is ready for baptism, but having a checkpoint in your ministry to equip parents to ask good questions of their child will give them greater confidence in not rushing to baptism. 

  • A “What Is a Christian” or Discovering Faith class gives you a strategic, concentrated opportunity to address these questions.
  • This class could be child-only, parent-only, or parent-child together. 
  • The goal is to help answer questions both kids and parents have about following Jesus and ultimately give parents the vocabulary to to have at-home conversations.
  • A great at-home resource for parents to work through with their kids is Lifeway Kids “What Is a Christian?” workbook.

Baptism and Lord’s Supper—Develop a strategy to help parents celebrate this checkpoint. Here are a few ideas.

  • Provide a one-sheet overview of your church’s theology of believer’s baptism and Lord’s Supper to parents. 
  • Consider providing an online video for parents to watch that talks through this overview.
  • Create a “baptism checklist” to help guide families through the details. Include items like meeting with you or your pastor (according to the practices of your church), mail/email invitations, plan a family meal, provide a Growing in My Faith devotional to each child to guide them in developing healthy spiritual habits.
  • Some churches allow dads to baptize children or have a parent stand with her child in the baptismal waters. However your church handles these situations, be sure to effectively communicate with families in what to expect during the baptism.
  • If your budget allows, develop invitation templates your families can mail/email to extended family members to attend a child’s baptism. 
  • Encourage families to gather for a family meal and a special time of prayer to encourage the child being baptized. Creating a family event around a child’s baptism helps to communicate the importance of this step of obedience.
  • Help parents anticipate their child’s first opportunity to observe with a dedicated family conversation using the one-sheet which might include who is allowed to participate and why, how often it is observed in your church, etc. 
  • This time allows all family members to review this importance of this public expression of corporate worship.

New Christian Class—Effective New Christian classes give each child an opportunity to not only validate her decision to become a follower of Jesus but it also gives each child and parent confidence they are on a path that is firmly rooted in Scripture. 

  • Provide a follow-up class for kids after they have made a profession of faith through baptism.
  • Similar to the previous class mentioned, a Growing in My Faith class is a good opportunity to talk with children about healthy spiritual habits like personal Bible study, prayer, giving, and so forth.
  • Lifeway Kids “I’m a Christian Now” resources provide a great framework for a class for your ministry and at-home discipleship for parents.

There are other checkpoints that you may choose to include, but hopefully this post has helped you start or continue thinking about ways you can partner and celebrate with parents as the kids in your ministry pass through this important checkpoint. I encourage you to “run with endurance the race that lies before [you], keeping [your] eyes on Jesus… ” as you “pursue as [your] goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus.” (Hebrews 12:1-2; Philippians 3:13-14)

Click here for a downloadable Checkpoints PDF. There are 2 pages in this document. One with the checkpoints we’ve listed in the original post (found here) and one with some blank boxes for your to write in your own.

Jeremy Carroll is the team leader for Lifeway Kids Discipleship Resources. Before coming to Lifeway, he has been active in local church ministry for nearly 20 years in TN, TX, and AL. Jeremy earned a Master of Arts in Christian Education from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. A Middle Tennessee native, he and his family live in Murfreesboro, TN.

Discipleship

Crossing Life’s Checkpoints – First Steps

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Earlier this year, we shared an overview of Crossing Life’s CheckPoints here on Kids Ministry 101. We know that many churches are looking for ways to strengthen their partnership with parents. Thinking about some of the “checkpoints” that most children and families pass through, we want to continue to expand our conversation about these checkpoints. As you partner with families during some of these checkpoints, you will be able to provide opportunities to help parents recoup, reevaluate and realign strategies, and be refreshed for family life. We’ve already dug into Checkpoints #1 a little more. Let’s turn our attention to Checkpoint #2: First Steps.

Checkpoint #2 – First Steps

Moving up to “Big Church”—Moving from an activity-based preschool classroom to a stand-sit routine of congregational, corporate worship can be a difficult checkpoint for young children to pass through, not to mention for parents to navigate. 

  • Consider preparing “welcome to worship” bags for preschoolers who are transitioning into big church. This bag may contain “quiet” items for the child to use during worship such as blank paper, crayons, washable markers, chenille stems, and so forth. 
  • Some churches create a activity-based listening guide that connects to the sermon or worship theme each Sunday to help engage older preschoolers and younger kids.
  • Strategically train and encourage parents and caregivers as you remind them that children learn by observation, so they will learn how to worship by watching adults participate in worship. Also encourage parents that it is OK if their children do not sit perfectly silent during worship. Guide them in ways to create a family environment where kids can ask questions about what is happening in worship.

Learning to Read—Sometimes parents do not naturally make the connection between their child learning to read and reading the Bible. This could be because the Bible is sometimes viewed as a difficult book to read. But what better story to capture the hearts of children than God’s story as little ones are beginning to read?

  • Partner with parents to celebrate this checkpoint.
  • Consider celebrating this checkpoint with a meaningful Bible presentation. If your budget allows, your church may purchase an age-appropriate Bible for each kindergartner or first grader. If your budget doesn’t allow or if you prefer to help parents choose their own Bible, guide parents in knowing what kind of Bible would be most appropriate to choose for their child. Lifeway offers several options of age-appropriate Bibles at lifeway.com/bibles.

Discovering Faith class—This one could be part of this checkpoint or the Checkpoint #3 or even both. It is fairly common for parents to quickly ask a Kids Pastor or Lead Pastor to baptize their child as soon as he or she begins asking questions about salvation or baptism. As we run alongside parents, encourage them to be discerning in these conversations. Being careful to not fall into either trap of “she’s too young” or  “can we baptize her tomorrow?” There is wisdom in listening to a child’s parents in determining whether their child is ready for baptism, but having a checkpoint in your ministry to equip parents to ask good questions of their child will give them greater confidence in not rushing to baptism. 

  • Provide a discovering faith class to allow children and/or parents to learn more about becoming a Christian. This class could be child-only, parent-only, or parent-child together. The goal is to help answer questions both kids and parents have about following Jesus.

Other checkpoints may fit into this category too. Maybe this has helped you start or continue thinking about ways you can partner with parents during this transitional checkpoint. I encourage you to “run with endurance the race that lies before [you], keeping [your] eyes on Jesus… ” as you “pursue as [your] goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus.” (Hebrews 12:1-2; Philippians 3:13-14)

Click here for a downloadable Checkpoints PDF. There are two pages in this document. One with the checkpoints we’ve listed in the original post (found here) and one with some blank boxes for your to write in your own.

Of course, this is not a comprehensive list of ways to partner with parents during this phase of life. What other partnerships you would add to this checkpoint?

Jeremy Carroll is the team leader for Lifeway Kids Discipleship Resources. Before coming to Lifeway, he has been active in local church ministry for nearly 20 years in TN, TX, and AL. Jeremy earned a Master of Arts in Christian Education from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. A Middle Tennessee native, he and his family live in Murfreesboro, TN.

Discipleship

Crossing the Checkpoints of Life’s Race: Part 2

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In July 2019, we posted an overview of Crossing Life’s CheckPoints. Partnering with families during the checkpoints of life provides natural opportunities to help parents recoup, reevaluate and realign strategies, and be refreshed for moving forward in family life. Let’s dig into Checkpoint #1: Welcome to the Family a little bit more.

Checkpoint #1 – Welcome to the Family

Birth/Adoption—Whether it’s a family’s first, second, or fifth child, each new addition adds new rhythms and challenges to family life. This checkpoint brings both celebrations and joys along with potential anxiety and challenges. When ministries come alongside families at this checkpoint, parents feel refreshed, valued, and comforted that they are not alone. 

  • “New Addition” Gift Bag—Consider creating a small gift bag to give to new families when a new baby is born or a child is adopted. This gift bag might include: 
    • a hand-written encouraging note
    • a Christian parenting book
    • a restaurant gift card
    • calming Christian music CD or code for downloadable music (such as quiet hymns)
    • a diaper bag tag 

Baby/Parent/Family Dedication—One partnering opportunity that is still quite popular among American churches is the presentation of young children and parents before a congregation for public dedication to the Lord. Consider how you can make this a meaningful experience for parents by:

  • providing invitation cards parents can send out to their extended family and friends.
  • hosting a dinner or lunch for parents and close family members and friends.
  • encouraging parents to write a prayer for their child which incorporates a Bible verse (some churches call this a “life verse”).
  • Preparing a gift bag for each family which may include an age-appropriate Bible, a framed certificate or Bible verse, and a letter from you or your pastor to be opened on the day of the child’s salvation or baptism.
  • providing additional training, like a class mentioned below, for young parents on God’s expectations for Christian parents.

Parenting class/classes/conference—Parents can easily find themselves living in “survival mode” and allow long-term priorities to fade out of focus. Providing dedicated training opportunities is another helpful resource for expectant parents. Consider offering training on child development and spiritual growth. Parents who participate in these trainings will appreciate the focused effort to be equipped for Christ-centered approach to parenting. 

  • Utilize technology to connect with and engage parents for training.
  • Such training could include: 
    • theology of biblical parenting
    • trust development
    • developmental stage characteristics
    • Conversion
    • Baptism
    • the Lord’s Supper

The goal of these checkpoints is to be strategic with the ways churches partner and celebrate with families as they grow. Many parents feel inadequate to spiritually lead their families. When churches “run the race” alongside families, they will feel more confident to embrace biblical principles and wisdom and lead their families toward authentic relationships with God. I encourage you to “run with endurance the race that lies before [you], keeping [your] eyes on Jesus … ” as you “pursue as [your] goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus.” (Hebrews 12:1-2; Philippians 3:13-14)

Click here for a downloadable Checkpoints PDF to help you share your vision with families. One with the checkpoints we’ve listed in the original post (found here) and one with some blank boxes for your to write in your own.

This is not an attempt at a comprehensive list. What other partnerships would you add during this phase of life?

Jeremy Carroll is the team leader for Lifeway Kids Discipleship Resources. Before coming to Lifeway, he has been active in local church ministry for nearly 20 years in TN, TX, and AL. Jeremy earned a Master of Arts in Christian Education from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. A Middle Tennessee native, he and his family live in Murfreesboro, TN.

Discipleship

Discipleship is not a Conveyor Belt

By

Guest Blogger Ben Trueblood serves as the Director of Student Ministry for Lifeway. He is also one of the hosts of the ETCH Family Ministry Conference and will be speaking at this year’s conference October 7-9 in Nashville. Find out more at etchconference.com.

For many years, one method of ministry has been to compile a list of outcomes that should be present in a teenager’s life when they graduate high school and then work backwards organizing the student and kids ministry to achieve those outcomes. Organizing this way gives you, other leaders, and your senior pastor clear markers that can be measured along the way. For example: a junior in high school, if they’ve been active in the church for the last few years, should be exhibiting X outcomes in their life. When done correctly, this approach can also be an effective tool for parents to see the importance of family ministry in the life of their kid or teenager, as well as a game plan to help them as they seek to spiritually nurture their student. Generally, it isn’t a bad way to look at the overall strategy or approach of a student ministry, but it isn’t discipleship.

This approach makes one major assumption: every kid and student is the same.

It turns our ministry into a conveyor belt that says if we do X then the result in a kid or teenagers’s life will be Y. It sounds great, but discipleship doesn’t work that way because each student is different. They have different home lives, thoughts, struggles, gifts, and personalities, which lead to discipleship being much more of a personal endeavor than one-size-fits-all. Discipleship is meant to take place within a relational context where God’s Word can be read, memorized, discussed and applied in real-time to the issues a teenager is walking through. The conveyor belt approach doesn’t leave room for the needed individualization that true discipleship requires, and it isn’t working.

“In a recent study from Lifeway Research and Lifeway Students we see that 66% of teenagers who are active in the church during their high school years will drop out of the church during their college years.”

At the same time, we see that the number of adult spiritual mentors a teenager has in their life during their high school years has a profoundly positive impact on them staying connected to the church. Statistically, when a high school student has three or more adult spiritual mentors from the church investing in their life, they are three times more likely to stay connected to the church in their college years.

Why is a spiritual mentoring relationship so important?

Because, once again, it is the natural avenue for discipleship. The adult gets to know the personal context of the teenager through this kind of relationship to the point that they are able to connect the dots of what the teenager is walking through with scripture. The result is that the teenager begins to see and experience the transformational power of God’s word; that it really does speak to the real issues of everyday life. Furthermore, when a teenager has several of these spiritual mentors throughout their time in student ministry they get to peer through the window of how an adult applies God’s word to their own life. They get to see the individual struggles of each adult and discover different perspectives on how to follow Jesus because each of those adults has their own personal context as well. Through these kinds of relationships the teenager gets to live more spiritual lives than their own learning along the way and storing up spiritual wisdom for later in life.

The Application?

  • Continue to build a strategy for your preschool, kids, preteen, or student ministry with clear outcomes and measurable markers along the way, making sure to create as many opportunities as possible for spiritual mentoring relationships to take root.
  • Make time in your schedule to train and develop the adult leaders in your ministry to be able to take on a spiritual mentoring role. Few leaders will take the step beyond small group leader to become a spiritual mentor without being nudged in that direction. (Kids can be mentored too!)

Spiritual mentors can be small group leaders, but not all small group leaders are intentional spiritual mentors. As the kids or student pastor, it is your responsibility to cast vision for them on what this looks like, and to train them how to do it. Because discipleship is personalized, your investment in your leaders should be the same. The good news is that in a world where minutes can be easily stolen by so many responsibilities, every minute spent training and investing in leaders will never be wasted.

Ben Trueblood serves as the Director of Student Ministry for Lifeway Christian Resources and has nineteen years of student ministry experience, fourteen of which were spent in the local church as a student pastor. In addition to his role at Lifeway Ben is involved in training, consulting, and speaking to student ministries throughout the U.S. He is the author of three books: A Different College Experience, Within Reach, and Student Ministry That Matters, and is the host of the Lifeway Student Ministry podcast. Ben is driven by a desire for student ministries to expand God’s Kingdom, to see the lives of students transformed by the gospel, and to develop students who shape the culture in which they live. Ben and his wife Kristen have four children. In his free time Ben enjoys family, hunting, is a huge St. Louis Cardinals fan, and is a collector of hobbies. Connect with Ben on social media: @bentrueblood

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